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Ru Jokes

I wa‌‌s crossin‌‌g th‌‌e stree‌‌t whe‌‌n ‌‌I suddenl‌‌y notice‌‌d m‌‌y e‌‌x gettin‌‌g ru‌‌n ove‌‌r b‌‌y ‌‌a bus‌‌

I though‌‌t t‌‌o myself‌‌, "Wow‌‌! Tha‌‌t coul‌‌d hav‌‌e bee‌‌n me!"

The‌‌n ‌‌I remembere‌‌d ‌‌I don't know how to driv‌‌e ‌‌a bus

If RuPaul owned a horse, what would it eat?

Hey girl heyyyy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop,he sees a $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "5 lamb chops, please."

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop,he sees a $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "5 lamb chops, please."
Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth,and quickly closes the shop.
He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and
...

What do you call RuPaul's crossdessing sister?

RuBarb

A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? ... Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.... Older Woman: Oh, I see. ... Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: You don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and...

An American, a French and a Russian are chatting in a restaurant.

The American woman says:
- I once told my husband that I was not his housewife and that I would not do laundry for him all the time. He left the house. I don't see a him for day, for two, for three, on the forth day he came back with a washing machine.
The Frenchwoman says:
- And I once...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Death or Ruru?

Three men were flying over a deserted island. They experienced plane troubles and are forced to land. They soon were greeted by a group of Pigmies who kidnap them and take them back to their camp.

The three are given a choice as to their future. The Chief asks the first guy: "Death or Ruru?...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Scotsman decides to make a trip to America for the first time.

A scotsman decides to make a trip to America for the first time. When he got there he wanted to do the most American thing he could think of so he went to a baseball game. He had never seen the sport played before so didn't really know the rules and was just copying what the crowd was doing. A batte...

What kind of car does Scooby-Doo drive?

A Subie-rubie-ru!

So Scooby Doo mixes Ruthenium Hydrogen together with alcohol..

RuH-ROH.

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