Proton Jokes

So the wedding would be free of charge

*CHARGE!*

Because they didn't want to elect ron

The bartender calls cops and they show up to arrest everyone. The cops cuff the proton and electron but they let the neutron go because nobody could press charges.

I never thought that subatomic particles would need therapy, but I guess it's not easy being positive all the time.

...it went ok.

Oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

The other chemicals were like 'omg'!

Two noble gases went on a date.

There was no reaction.

Two protons went on a date.

There was no attraction.

Hydrogen and chlorine went on a date.

They felt... read more

“Can’t you just let us Be?”, they asked.
The group of eleven replied, “Na”.

Cuz you a Ho

"Thanks for letting me live here free of charge!"

Thanks for the gold!

Cesium salad.

Molecule > Atom > Proton > Quark > x on a mobile ad

Are the little things that matter.

And electron says, "Um, I don't know. But I can tell you were I probably am!"

Bartender: what'll it be?

Proton: Just water, thanks

Bartender: You sure?

Proton: I'm positive

They forgot to mention Morons.

The proton says, "Why so negative?"

The electron says, "My wife is cheating on me."

They were enjoying themselves until the electrons attacked them. There was a scare in the party scene. Then emerged a brave man who took care of all electrons at once..All the protons were astounded by it and asked him who he was.

He replied, "Bond...Covalent bond"

Make yourself atom

A proton, a neutron and Helium walk into a bar and order three beers.
The bartender appears with three beers in hand and asks the proton, “Are you sure you are above 21?”
The proton replies, “I’m positive.” The bartender then gives the proton his beer.
He then says to neutron while giving ... read more

Because you are sodium fine :p

Why do you always got to be so negative?

...the proton orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet and pays the bartender.

the electron orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet and pays the bartender.

the neutron orders a shot, drinks it, then takes out his wallet.. the bartender stops him and says, "wait.... read more

‘Oh no’ the proton said, ‘I left my wallet in my house’
‘Are you sure?’ The neutron said.
‘I’m positive’ said the proton.

Yes. That's it. There's no punchline. Physics isn't a joke.

One electron said to the other, "This quantum trading stuff sounds like imaginary nonsense; if I can carry meaningful information faster than the speed of light, then I will."

The remaining electron watched his former partner depart into the nether, sighed, then said to his collar microphone,... read more

for keeping our community positive.

Plus sizes!

Quark-quark!

And see three electrons in a corner. One turns to the other says they should leave. The other asks him why and he says "I don't like them, the always turn everything so negative".

I'm sure I hadron somewhere.

The electron turns around, stares at him deeply for a brief moment, and responds, "My parents died in a car crash."


___

*Reposting this joke because I originally posted it on the wrong account.*

So far, the results have been positive.

Proton and neutron were chilling in the nucleus one day, then proton asks neutron: “Why you only hangout with me in here instead of electron?”

Neutron replies: “He was too negative to begin with.”

...When he is pulled over by a Proton. Proton: do you know how fast you were going?
Electron: yes, but now I have no clue as to where I am.

A proton, a neutron, and an electron got into a bar fight.

The bartender called the police, but when the officers arrived, they only arrested the proton. Confused, the bartender asked, “why did you only arrest the proton?”

To which one of the officers replied, “well you see, the elect... read more

jk protons can't walk

without protons, nothing matters.

but then I took a proton to the Ne

If you were an atom you would have 67 protons

we thought atoms represented the smallest unit of matter. Although initially thought to be indivisible, this was proven false and each atom is made up of proton, neutrons, and electrons inside.

For a time these were the smallest units, then we found that these protons and neutrons were made u... read more

Jimmy Electron, Jimmy Proton and Carl Weiner

I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me, and they ask me. They say, 'How do people breathe before the discovery of oxygen'? And I tell them, look, we know what oxygen is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of chemistry you c... read more

"How much are the protons?"

"A dime a dozen, and the neutrons are free of charge."

Do these protons make my mass look big?

The first one was selling protons and electrons for .10 cents each. The second one was just handing out neutrons to anyone. When I asked the second one why he wouldn't accept any money for the neutrons he repllied: *they're free of charge*.

electrons: 10 cents

protons: 10 cents

neutrons: free of charge