Why don't mummies like vacations?

They're afraid to unwind!

Happy Spooky Month!!

Where do mummies swim?

In the Dead Sea.

Son: Daddy what are those big round things on mummies chest?”

Dad: They’re balloons son. When mummy dies we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.”

Son: Really? Because Uncle Dave was blowing them up yesterday and mummy kept saying “Oh God, I’m coming” but she didn’t float anywhere!

I walked in on two mummies making out.

I told them to get a tomb.

What kind of music do mummies listen to?

Wrap music!

Mummies aren't all evil.

They get a bad wrap.

How do mummies attract mates?


2 mummies shared a fart

They had a toot in common

Found an old joke from a 1953 newspaper: What do naughty Egyptian girls become?

Mummies, I guess.

Why were the Egyptian children confused?

Because their daddies were mummies.

What is one thing that Egyptian kids do not realise?

That their Daddies will eventually become Mummies...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to prison...

He's led to his cell, enters the door which is then locked behind him. A big bruiser of man sits on his bed with a menacing grin on his face.
"In this cell we play a game called Mummies and Daddies... Do you want to be Mummy or Daddy?" asks the big guy.
"I'll be Daddy" replies the newby.

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