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Fossils Jokes

Two fossils are hanging out and eating at a bar

Fossil one: Man this is the best pizza I've ever had.
Fossil two: It looks so amazing! How good is it?
Fossile one: Here, just Trilobyte!

People who do fossil hunting already have an unfair advantage

The fossils are already dead

What do you call a Christian who studies fossils?

An Episcopaleontologist.

Why is it so hard to date fossils?

Because they're DEAD!

What do you call a pirate that digs for fossils?

An Arrrr-cheologist

What do you call a scientist who specializes in ancient canine fossils?

A barchaeologist.

How did dinosaurs clean their teeth?

With fossils.

While moving to a new apartment I lost several of my fossils from when I was a kid.

They weren't really worth much so I guess its just the sedimental value I'm missing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[my original] Why have human fossils never been found in Iran?

Because homos in Iran do not exist.

Yo mama is so fat

That when she jumped the fossils started screaming

What does Melania Trump and a paleontologist have in common?

Both are experts in dating fossils.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've been digging through piles of fossils all day.

No Homo.

I signed up for a dating service through a local college.

How was I to know that at Carbon Dating I'd only be introduced to old fossils!

A scientist is dining with a duke one day...

A scientist is dining with a duke one day, talking of chemistry and such. All is going well until the duke rings a bell and demands a test tube from his butler, who brings it to him forthwith. The duke sticks it in his pants, lets loose a thunderous fart, then caps the tube and hands it to the shock...

There is a country that is still mostly undocumented

This country is not too large in size, but it's covered by miles and miles of tar. It's gone by many names, such as "The Country of Tar," and still lacks an official title. According to the few documents that exist for it, the tar covering the country could conceal countless amounts of undiscovered ...
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