While moving to a new apartment I lost several of my fossils from when I was a kid.

They weren't really worth much so I guess its just the sedimental value I'm missing.

Here's a step by step guide to becoming a fossil

Step One : Die

Yo mama is so fat

That when she jumped the fossils started screaming

What do you call a pirate that digs for fossils?

An Arrrr-cheologist

Why is it so hard to date fossils?

Because they're DEAD!

Two fossils are hanging out and eating at a bar

Fossil one: Man this is the best pizza I've ever had.
Fossil two: It looks so amazing! How good is it?
Fossile one: Here, just Trilobyte!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've been digging through piles of fossils all day.

No Homo.

What do you call a scientist who specializes in ancient canine fossils?

A barchaeologist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old couple walked into a bar.....

And sat down to have a drink.

The wife said "Remember, when we were 17, we used to come here for drinks, and then sneak off to have sex on the fence behind the bar?"

The husband replies " Sure do. Want to try it again for old times sake?"

"Yes" the wife replies.

Now,behin...

What does Melania Trump and a paleontologist have in common?

Both are experts in dating fossils.

A guy is visiting a museum of natural history.

He's examining some fossils when he asks a curator how old they are.

"Those fossils are 65 million years and six months old." The curator says. The man asks the curator how he can know the age of the fossils so precisely.

"Because they were 65 million years old when I started here six ...

There is a country that is still mostly undocumented

This country is not too large in size, but it's covered by miles and miles of tar. It's gone by many names, such as "The Country of Tar," and still lacks an official title. According to the few documents that exist for it, the tar covering the country could conceal countless amounts of undiscovered ...

A scientist is dining with a duke one day...

A scientist is dining with a duke one day, talking of chemistry and such. All is going well until the duke rings a bell and demands a test tube from his butler, who brings it to him forthwith. The duke sticks it in his pants, lets loose a thunderous fart, then caps the tube and hands it to the shock...

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