If you watch Godzilla backwards

it's about a dinosaur that passionately pieces a city back together before moonwalking into the sea.

What does Godzilla do part time when he's not destroying cities?

He flips houses

What do you get when you mix godzilla and a vegtable garden?

Squash

What is Godzilla’s favorite cheese?

Gorgonzilla

Does anybody know the name of that Godzilla Movie?

It's the one where another monster actually breaks one of Godzilla's legs.

I can't remember the name of the movie, but it has a huge cast.

What did the dairy farmers say when they saw godzilla?

Muenster!!!

I saw on the TV that Godzilla recently attacked South Korea and thousands are dead!

Really Seoul-crushing news.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do a pornstar and Godzilla have in common?

They've both swallowed boatloads of seamen.

What do you find between Godzilla's toes?

Slow runners.

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The Japanese flag is a pie chart...

...showing how many of them are afraid of Godzilla.

I just watched Godzilla Vs. Kong, it was awful...

...One could even say it’s Monstrous

So Godzilla walks into a bar...

The entire building is destroyed. 23 people are missing and presumed dead.

What do you get if you cross Godzilla with a kangaroo

Big holes all over Australia

My son created a kids safe Godzilla Knock Knock Joke

Son: Knock Knock

Victim: Who's there?

Son: Godzilla

Victim: Godzilla who?

Son: Raaawr! Chomp!

One day Godzilla ate the island of Tonga.

Then he said, "That was good. Now I'm ready to have Samoa."

What has 100 teeth and keeps Godzilla at bay?

My zipper

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Chuck Norris Facts!

-can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it.

-can make scissors beat rock.

-when he's looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough
to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

-can unscramble eggs.

-counted t...

What did Godzilla say after he devoured Hawaii?

I WANT SAMOA

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The Thing About Godzilla Sex...

Is that you can see it coming a mile away.

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Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.

These are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.

What every athlete says after winning: "First of all, I'd like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."

Chuck can eat Chinese food with one chopstick.

Chuck threw a few rocks into the Pacific Ocean. These are now known as Ha...

Why potato ding dong?

Godzilla! (Can someone explain this to me? My 8-year-old told it to me and was really proud of it.)

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DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

Names
===========
If Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice go out for lunch, they will call each other Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice.
If Fred, Luke, Bradley, and Jeff go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.

Eating Out
===========...

Why does Godzilla go to temple?

because he's a kaiju

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Why Men Are Happier

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will e...

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I think I might be racist

So I was out driving the other day and saw a white man running. I thought to myself "how great, this guy really has it together and is out working on his fitness."

Then later I saw a black man out running and I became a little nervous and put my head on a swivel. I couldn't help but think a...

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Reaction to Snakes

• Civilian: Runs away from the snake screaming.

• Paratrooper: Lands on and kills the snake.

• Armor: runs over snake, giggles, and looks for
more snakes.

• Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come 'ere
kitty....Ouch! Hey, that's not a putty tat."

• Army Aviation: Has GPS...

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