If you watch Godzilla backwards

it's about a dinosaur that passionately pieces a city back together before moonwalking into the sea.

What does Godzilla do part time when he's not destroying cities?

He flips houses

I saw on the TV that Godzilla recently attacked South Korea and thousands are dead!

Really Seoul-crushing news.

What is Godzilla’s favorite cheese?

Gorgonzilla

What do you get when you mix godzilla and a vegtable garden?

Squash

How is Trump vs. Clinton like Godzilla vs. Mothra?

No matter who wins, the city will be destroyed.

What do you find between Godzilla's toes?

Slow runners.

In a far away universe the movie Godzilla vs. Godzilla premieres, spoiler alert...

Godzilla wins.

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What do a pornstar and Godzilla have in common?

They've both swallowed boatloads of seamen.

One day Godzilla ate the island of Tonga.

Then he said, "That was good. Now I'm ready to have Samoa."

What did Godzilla say after he devoured Hawaii?

I WANT SAMOA

What has 100 teeth and keeps Godzilla at bay?

My zipper

Does anybody know the name of that Godzilla Movie?

It's the one where another monster actually breaks one of Godzilla's legs.

I can't remember the name of the movie, but it has a huge cast.

So Godzilla walks into a bar...

The entire building is destroyed. 23 people are missing and presumed dead.

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The Japanese flag is a pie chart...

...showing how many of them are afraid of Godzilla.

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Chuck Norris Facts!

-can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it.

-can make scissors beat rock.

-when he's looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough
to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

-can unscramble eggs.

-counted t...

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Why Men Are Happier

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will e...

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The Thing About Godzilla Sex...

Is that you can see it coming a mile away.

Why does Godzilla go to temple?

because he's a kaiju

Why potato ding dong?

Godzilla! (Can someone explain this to me? My 8-year-old told it to me and was really proud of it.)

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DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

Names
===========
If Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice go out for lunch, they will call each other Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice.
If Fred, Luke, Bradley, and Jeff go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.

Eating Out
===========...

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I think I might be racist

So I was out driving the other day and saw a white man running. I thought to myself "how great, this guy really has it together and is out working on his fitness."

Then later I saw a black man out running and I became a little nervous and put my head on a swivel. I couldn't help but think a...

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Reaction to Snakes

• Civilian: Runs away from the snake screaming.

• Paratrooper: Lands on and kills the snake.

• Armor: runs over snake, giggles, and looks for
more snakes.

• Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come 'ere
kitty....Ouch! Hey, that's not a putty tat."

• Army Aviation: Has GPS...

Adblocking software

So these IT professionals were discussing the new internet protection softwares they were installing at work.

The first one says “my new system blocks ads, and with Godzilla level protection refuses to show images with flesh tones.”

The next one says “my new system blocks ads, and wit...

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