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Godzilla Jokes

If you watch Godzilla backwards

it's about a dinosaur that passionately pieces a city back together before moonwalking into the sea.

What does Godzilla do part time when he's not destroying cities?

He flips houses

What is Godzilla’s favorite cheese?

Gorgonzilla

What do you find between Godzilla's toes?

Slow runners.

What did the dairy farmers say when they saw godzilla?

Muenster!!!

So Godzilla walks into a bar...

The entire building is destroyed. 23 people are missing and presumed dead.

Does anybody know the name of that Godzilla Movie?

It's the one where another monster actually breaks one of Godzilla's legs.

I can't remember the name of the movie, but it has a huge cast.

I saw on the TV that Godzilla recently attacked South Korea and thousands are dead!

Really Seoul-crushing news.

How is Trump vs. Clinton like Godzilla vs. Mothra?

No matter who wins, the city will be destroyed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do a pornstar and Godzilla have in common?

They've both swallowed boatloads of seamen.

Why couldn't Godzilla eat the hotel?

Because it was too suite.

what did Godzilla call his son?

Jesuszilla

If Godzilla was Korean

it'd be Seoul destroying.

Godzilla walks into a bar

The bar collapses

One day, Godzilla ate Tonga.

Then he said, "That was good. I think I'll have Samoa!"

What country looked appetizing to Godzilla back in the 70s?

Viet Nom

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Thing About Godzilla Sex...

Is that you can see it coming a mile away.

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Chuck Norris Facts!

-can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it.

-can make scissors beat rock.

-when he's looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough
to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

-can unscramble eggs.

-counted t...

My son created a kids safe Godzilla Knock Knock Joke

Son: Knock Knock

Victim: Who's there?

Son: Godzilla

Victim: Godzilla who?

Son: Raaawr! Chomp!

What has 100 teeth and keeps Godzilla at bay?

My zipper

I just watched Godzilla Vs. Kong, it was awful...

...One could even say it’s Monstrous

What do you get if you cross Godzilla with a kangaroo

Big holes all over Australia

Godzilla finally decided it was time to go to medical school…

because he really knew how to handle himself in an emerge-in-sea situation.

Dumb, Yet Stupid

Godzilla: I don't feel so well...
Mothra: What did you eat?
Godzilla: Netflix.
Mothra: Why did that make you sick?
Godzilla: Dunno. I feel like I've eaten Stranger Things...

My girlfriend text me “lets watch Godzilla”……..

I reply “look at the mirror”!

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Chuck Norris once

-injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.
They are now known as King Kong, Moby Dick, and Godzilla.

Why potato ding dong?

Godzilla! (Can someone explain this to me? My 8-year-old told it to me and was really proud of it.)

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The Japanese flag is actually just a pie chart..

..about how many of them are scared of Godzilla.

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Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.

These are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.

What every athlete says after winning: "First of all, I'd like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."

Chuck can eat Chinese food with one chopstick.

Chuck threw a few rocks into the Pacific Ocean. These are now known as Ha...

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I think I might be racist

So I was out driving the other day and saw a white man running. I thought to myself "how great, this guy really has it together and is out working on his fitness."

Then later I saw a black man out running and I became a little nervous and put my head on a swivel. I couldn't help but think a...

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Why Men Are Happier

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will e...

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DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

Names
===========
If Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice go out for lunch, they will call each other Linda, Kate, Paula and Janice.
If Fred, Luke, Bradley, and Jeff go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bruno, Scrappy, Peanut-Head and Godzilla.

Eating Out
===========...

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