If we really do live in a simulation, I think I know how they programmed global warming.

They most likely used an "Al-Gore-Ithm"

Proof that reality is a simulation...

The developers accidentally gave Totinos a randomized heat resistance stat.

I got kicked out of astronaut training for joking around too much in the underwater simulation course.

They said I didn’t appreciate the gravity of the situation.

What's scarier than finding out that you have been in a simulation this whole time?

That you can only talk about it with people who always think you're joking.

Two developers are working on a simulation when it suddenly goes haywire before returning to normal

Dev 1: Did you see that? I think the simulation just broke for a second.

Dev 2: I think it's more accurate to say it glitched.

Dev 1: Dude, I'm not about to argue over sim antics.

The election of Donald Trump is proof that we live in a computer simulation

We found a bug!

What did the man say inside a simulation of Antarctica?

This is really code.

They said that the universe is just a computer simulation

Well 6.5 billion years ago there were no computers!

From my Twitter feed today

I have a joke about a gym trainer, but I have to warm up before I tell it.

I have a joke about the IT department, but you have to put in a ticket before i can tell you.

I have a joke on aerospace engineering, but I don't think it will fly.

I have a joke on LinkedIn, but I'm not ...

[long] My company is locked down and I am required to work from home

I'm used to working in an open office space so this is a huge change for me. In order to make the transition as easy as possible, I have prepared my home office so remind me of work.

* I've purchased a piece of Limburger cheese and placed it on a plate in the middle of the room to remind me o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is in a car crash and is in a coma in hospital

Days, then weeks, then months go by with no sign of life or improvement. They were at a loss and running out of ideas.

One day a nurse was in the room changing the lady's bedding and accidentally touched the woman's thigh. The nurse noticed that the woman's eyes flickered very slightly, so sh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

DOOM

The police officer approaches me slowly, his hand on his pistol. “Sir, can you please come down from that tree?”

“Not a chance!”

He surveys the destruction all around us. “What happened here?”

I stare at the smoking remains of my house and mutter, “Doom.”

The Police offic...

A football judge

Kicked his wife out of the bed for a simulation!

I love public transport, even though I get excessively sweaty.

Also, I think I take my Train Simulation game too seriously.

At the races

A Statistician, Engineer and Physicist go to the horse track.

Each have their system for betting on the winner and they're sure of it.


After the race is over, the Statistician wanders into the nearby bar, defeated. He notices the Engineer, sits down next to him, and begins lamentin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jump School (NSFW)

I was talking to my marine friend about his training and he tells me this story about going to jump school, (learning to jump out of planes).

"So we climb in the plane with all out gear on and it takes off. This is our first actual jump after a few simulations and dry runs. Everyone is nerv...

Two Borg walk into a holodeck. ..

They wanted a simulation of all mankind.

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