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Prius Jokes

A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet...

But I can only walk so fast.

One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window.

"I’ll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car," said the driver.

"No way! Get lost!" replied the boy.

"How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?" the driver asked.

"I said no way," replied the boy.

"What about a bag of M&Ms and 50 dollars?" asked the ...

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Prius?

A porcupine has pricks on the outside.

I got pulled over for speeding in my Prius

The cop didn't give me a ticket. He just wanted to know how I did it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The high-speed Prius.

There is a broken Toyota Prius on the side of an American highway.

Suddenly, a Bugatti driver pulls up next to the Prius and offers to tow the hybrid to the nearest repair shop. The Toyota owner agrees. They also agree on that the Prius driver will flash his high beams when he'll want to slow...

If I buy a Prius, I’ll make sure to put a bobblehead Yoda figurine on the dash

Then I’ll have a toy Yoda in my Toyota.

A vegan, an Italian and a Prius owner walk into a bar.

I know this because they told me when they walked in the door.

Why does the Toyota Prius have more accidents on record than any other car?

It's really hard to drive safe while patting yourself on the back.

Yesterday I got into an accident with a prius...

Yesterday I was on the highway and rear ended a prius.
We both pulled over and a dwarf gets out of the prius.
He walks up to my car and says "Hey mister, I'm not happy!"
I say "then which one are you?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Prius had an oil leak

Had to pay for a tampon to stop it up

Three men go to heaven and meet Saint Peter.

They were each greeted warmly and told to answer all questions truthfully. St. Peter asks the first man: "You were married, but were you faithful? Remember, I will know if you are lying."

"Absolutely, I never cheated once in my life." claimed the man, pride gleaming in his eyes.

"Very...

I beat a Prius today...

Thank goodness I had on my running shoes.

I wanted to buy a new car but I’ve read that there are a lot of counterfeits on the market nowadays

Guess I’ll just keep my Honda Prius then

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Challenged my boss to a street race.

My boss drives a Prius to work every day. One day I challenged him to a street race after work, my Focus against his car, for pink slips. Quarter mile. He accepted

That night waiting for him, he pulls up, in a Corvette. We raced. He won. I didn't stop. Kept going. Next day I called into work...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Middle Eastern men move to the United States.

After receiving dirty looks, and rude comments day after day, they soon figure out that they needed to "Americanize" themselves in order to fit in. Both men part ways on their journey to become Americans. The men do not see each other for five years, until one day they happen to bump into each other...

Why was the young boy scared of the Pope's car?

It was a Catholic Prius.

Survivor: Texas Edition

Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled: "Survivor - Texas Edition".

The lucky contestants will all start in Dallas then drive a circuit to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, Houston, Brownsville, Del Rio, El Paso, Odessa, Midland, Lubbock, Amarillo, Abilen...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Silver Tongued Salesman

A young hotshot from New York moves to California for some fun in the sun.

He goes to the local mega store looking for a sales job.

The manager, a little doubtful, asks, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The cocky kid responds, "Yup. I did sales back in New York."

The b...

Boston people are so rude.

I see this guy searching under his Prius, and I ask him how I can help.

He tells me hes looking for his shorts, and then flips out when I point out he is wearing them.

Its not my fault the idiot told me he lost his khakis.

Where did this concept of kidnappers using white vans come from?

I mean, I just use my Prius, stop being so stereotypical, jeez.

Early last February this year, I learned that National Grammar Day is celebrated on March 4th; I was looking forward to celebrating with some friends of mine in Toledo, Ohio...

...I made the trip from Nevada by car; it was a wonderful celebration. My friends Jerry, Susan, and Cynthia organized a wonderful event consisting of a host of grammar related activities: proof-reading, sentence structuring, and more.

Susan also turned out to be a wonderful cook; she prepared...

Three men are waiting in front of the gates to heaven...

God comes to the first man and asks him how many times have you cheated on your wife? The man says “never would I cheat on my wife. I love her very much”. God looks at him for a second and says “ahh you can’t fool me, I’m god! You’ve cheated on her 10 times! As your punishment, you will have to d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heaven is a big place

Three guys arrive at the pearly gates together having all perished in different circumstances. Seeing the lineup they all wonder what separates them from access into the gates of heaven. As time goes by the line disappears and the three men find themselves next up. Peter is standing with a hand on t...

So I saw that the new dinosaur in Jurassic Park is a hybrid

Guess that makes it Priustoric

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