I was about to make a joke on Hydrides of Alkali metals but I thought...

NaH

I just found a canyon full of precious metals. I got so excited, I accidentally came in my pants.

It was quite an ore chasm.

I was arrested for my plot to steal all the precious metals from the Olympics.

I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those medalling kids.

The Ivory Throne of the King of Timbuktu

Hundreds of years ago, when glorious Timbuktu was nothing more than a large collection of grass huts, the King of that great city declared his wish for a throne fit for such a mighty ruler. Of ivory it was to be, exquisitely carved, inlaid with gold leaf, decorated with diamonds and emeralds and sap...

My bank just released a card that rewards me with precious metals like gold and silver when I spend money!

They’re calling it the Creddit Card.

Why doesn't iron form a good bond with other metals?

Because it has rust issues!

What do you get when you mix multiple metals and a reptile

An alloy-gator

A frog goes into a bank

“What can I help you with?” asks the Teller.

“I’d like to apply for a loan” says the frog.

“Oh” says the Teller “you need to speak with our Loan Officer, Miss Whack”.

The Teller leads the frog to Miss Whacks office and, informs her that the frog wants to apply for a loan. “What ...

A man was recruited for a space colony

He had been posted to a planet 14 lightyears from Sol. As his ship landed on the planet's glowing surface, he saw a car waiting for him.

"Welcome to Anti-Earth," The driver said, "don't worry we are going to change the name soon. I am here to take you to your quarters and show you the colony ...

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