What do you call an iron/carbon alloy that never gets embarrassed?

Shameless steel

Wife Missing?

The first thing a grieving husband should do is CALL THE COPS!

Husband: "My wife of 15 years is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!"
Sheriff: "Height?"
Husband: "I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall."
Sheriff: "Weight?"
Husband: "Don't kn...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site.

"This place is going to take some getting used to. It's like a mirror version of Earth. The elements which are rare on Earth are the most abundant here while the common elements are extremely rare."

"So why are we here then," the guy a...

What did Thor start calling Ironman after he learned the suit was made out of gold titanium alloy?

Ironyman

... To be fair Goldtitaniumalloyman just didn't have the same ring.

If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up...

They'd be alloys.

I have a friend who's partially made of metal

Guess you can call him my alloy

What do you get when you mix multiple metals and a reptile

An alloy-gator

I have lost my wife. She went shopping and hasn’t returned!

Policeman: What is the ladies height sir?

Husband: Height? I’m not sure, I’ve never measured her.

Policeman: Is she a slim or a large lady sir?

Husband: She’s sort of average I’d say.

Policeman: Colour of her eyes?

Husband: Sort of bluey-green I suppose.

Pol...

Did you hear about the metal tariffs placed by the U.S.?

Turns out they were imposed on some key "alloys."

What happens if you steel?

You have to get Alloy-er

Watson and Holmes are returning from the lock-and-key shop where they've ordered an extra apartment key because Watson lost his.

As they arrive, Watson bounds up the steps to 221B Baker Street and barges into their apartment as Sherlock Holmes follows him.

"I'll show you my deductions today Holmes!", he says. "I can deduce too!"

Sherlock Holmes shows him the only key to the apartment and says, "What can you ded...

Don't you just hate it when a bad joke is so ironic.....

....and you get super-alloyed?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So how about a real joke about Bulgarians for a change?

A flying saucer beams up a German engineer, an Indian guru and a Bulgarian. The three of them are informed by an alien in a lab coat that standard procedure when contacting an unfamiliar species is to subject them to the standardized intergalactic intelligence test.

"You will be put in an air...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you guys have any clean ish Super Hero jokes?

I'm going to be an Emcee at a superhero themed event and some jokes would be great. The sexual assault superman one just won't fly. Many people there aren't really into super heros but some (very few) are.

My favorite so far is...

If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up....they would ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys go golfing

Two guys decide to go golfing.

The first guy goes, "hey, so do you need to go buy some golf balls before we go?

The second guy says, "no. I've already got one."

1: "What do you mean you only have one? You need more than that."

2: "No, you see, it's a special ball, you ca...

Why did brass and steel team-up together during the war?

Because they were alloys.

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