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Alloy Jokes

A husband calls the Sheriff's office to report his wife missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!

Sheriff: Height?

Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sheriff: Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sheriff: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort ...

If Ironman and Silver Surfer teamed up

They would be alloys

What do you call an iron/carbon alloy that never gets embarrassed?

Shameless steel

What did Thor start calling Ironman after he learned the suit was made out of gold titanium alloy?

Ironyman

... To be fair Goldtitaniumalloyman just didn't have the same ring.

Did you hear that you can buy iron and carbon for the price of just 1 alloy?

What a steel!

A man’s wife is missing…

Man: Officer, my wife is missing. She went out yesterday and she hasn’t come home.

Officer: Okay, what’s her height?

Man: Not sure…. Maybe around 5’6?

Officer: Okay, weight?

Man: I dunno… not slim not big.

Officer: Okay… colour of her eyes?

Man: Sort of blue...

What happens if you steel?

You have to get Alloy-er

I have a friend who's partially made of metal

Guess you can call him my alloy

So my wife went missing. I went to the police to report her disappearance...

The policeman asked “What is she wearing?”
I replied “I don’t recall”.
The policeman asked “What is her height?”
I replied “Average”.
The policeman asked “Weight?”
I replied “Who knows?”
The policeman asked “Hair colour?”
I replied “Mmm what month ar...

Did you hear about the metal tariffs placed by the U.S.?

Turns out they were imposed on some key "alloys."

Why did brass and steel team-up together during the war?

Because they were alloys.

The hut with an attic

The king of a small nation lived in a palace that was, in actuality, just a straw hut with an attic. Still, with the king living there, it was indeed a palace, as far as the citizens of that nation were concerned. The king would greet guests while sitting cross-legged on the floor.

On...

Watson and Holmes are returning from the lock-and-key shop where they've ordered an extra apartment key because Watson lost his.

As they arrive, Watson bounds up the steps to 221B Baker Street and barges into their apartment as Sherlock Holmes follows him.

"I'll show you my deductions today Holmes!", he says. "I can deduce too!"

Sherlock Holmes shows him the only key to the apartment and says, "What can you ded...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site.

"This place is going to take some getting used to. It's like a mirror version of Earth. The elements which are rare on Earth are the most abundant here while the common elements are extremely rare."

"So why are we here then," the guy a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So how about a real joke about Bulgarians for a change?

A flying saucer beams up a German engineer, an Indian guru and a Bulgarian. The three of them are informed by an alien in a lab coat that standard procedure when contacting an unfamiliar species is to subject them to the standardized intergalactic intelligence test.

"You will be put in an air...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys go golfing

Two guys decide to go golfing.

The first guy goes, "hey, so do you need to go buy some golf balls before we go?

The second guy says, "no. I've already got one."

1: "What do you mean you only have one? You need more than that."

2: "No, you see, it's a special ball, you ca...

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