Can we ban "yo momma" jokes from this sub? They're old, stupid and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times

Just like yo mamma

"Bill to ban shark fin harvesting", and "Bill to increase minimum wage" and "Bill to help ease the burden of Vets"...with all these good things happening, it makes me wonder...

...why did he wait so long?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many redittors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers ...

I was banned from the airport last week

Apparently security doesn't like it when you call shotgun while boarding the plane

Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race.

Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs.

I got banned from /r/Jokes for posting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.

Not on my watch.

so i heard they banned gambling at the zoo

too many cheetahs!

I’m banned for life from acting in our production of Romeo and Juliet, just because I misunderstood the stage directions.

It said, [Enter Juliet from the rear]

Why was the cat banned from running the race?

Because he was a cheetah.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Now that Trump has been banned from Twitter, we finally learned the past tense of the verb "Tweet."

Twat

I found a hole in my trainer that's big enough to put my finger through

One formal complaint from her, and I'm now banned from the gym.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are Nazis banned from entering any planes?

Because they like to destroy the left wing.

Joke from my 12 year old “why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?”

Because they’re so good at it!

Please don’t ban me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Did you hear they banned all porn from the internet?

I don't know what this world is cumming to.

Russia is considering banning the internet for most people, replacing it with a limited Russian propaganda version...

It will be called the InterNYET.

What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?

Banned from Seaworld



Cake day so time to Karma Farm, and I can't see this joke posted

Vaccinating your kid is like banning fire from a gas station

A good idea

What do you call cancer when it achieves sentience?

A reddit mod.

(doubt this will prevent it form being deleted and myself banned, but this 'attack' is quite impersonal)

Theres a llot of things people respect about me

I have a heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo

Why'd the gardener get banned from the hospital?

He kept watering the vegetables.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a conservative prostitute that gets banned from twitter?

A Parler trick

I banned my wife from singing Cascada, but I think she is singing it behind my back.

She denies it of course, but everytime we touch I get a feeling

Why was the referee banned from the arena?

For their foul language.

Because of his loss in Wisconsin, Trump has put a ban on all shredded cheese.

It's the only way he can make America GRATE again.

Credit to my 12 year old son.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the law that bans anal sex?

It's a law that I can't get behind.

I heard germany is going to make robot driven cars illegal in their highways

It's going to be called auto-ban

What do you get when you cross a bat and a man?

A ban. Specifically, a lifetime ban from the genetics labs, as well as a visit from the ethics committee.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman asked if I liked thighs or breasts

I told her I liked shaved vaginas and anal. I now have a lifetime ban at KFC.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One Marine (long)

Out in the middle of the Afghan desert, a whole camp of Taliban soldiers doing whatever Talibans do on their slow days.

Suddenly, the company commander hears this voice yell out "one Marine is better than one-hunert Talibans!". It seems to be coming from behind a rock formation off in the dis...

A clever Russian is planning on a streaming service exclusively for banned films.

He's going to call it Nyetflix.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's discrimination!

I see kids bouncing balls and riding bikes down isles at Walmart, but does anyone stop them, heck no! They can play with anything they want to!

But for some reason *I've* been banned from the ladies underwear department.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The government has decided to ban all alcohol adverts on pornography websites

When asked, an official commented:

'We made this decision for the wellbeing of the kids who watch it'

Why was the red blood cell banned from church today?

Because he said God's name in vein.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Are people born with photographic memories?

Or do they take a while to develop?

Why the fuck are you morons spending real money on Reddit awards? Fucking STOP it. Reddit admins do NOT deserve any kind of money at all. The just banned 200 odd subreddits - and you fucking halfwits want to reward them for it.

Fuck's sake.

What is a Audit?

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road.

Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl once asked me if I was a breast or legs guy...

I told her I was more into anal and feet. Now I’m banned from KFC.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear the government is banning participation trophies?

They start taking down all confederate statues next week.

If Reddit gets banned it will ruin everyone's life,

Including Redditors.

64AD: Nero bans the practice of christianity through the roman empire

christians: i can’t believe this

romans: correct

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When social media bans female boobs, but not men's, it shows a real intolerance...

lactose intolerance.

Why am I being banned from the pool?!

Because you're peeing in it.
But everyone pees in the pool!
Yes, but not from the diving board.

I had a nightmare that my TikTok account got banned

For a second, i was really scared that i had TikTok

Apparently I’ve been banned from the gas station for playing ‘The Who’ too loudly on my car stereo...

I won't get fueled again.

What happened to the transphobic subs during the ban wave?

They got TERFed out.

I heard that Trump is going to ban Tik Tok..

What did Ke$ha ever do to him?

Chess is banned under Islam

They hate that the queen moves freely.

Join my new national campaign and ban pre-grated cheese.

so we can make Britan grate again

Apparently NASCAR is banning all Confederate flags from its races.

But how will drivers know they’ve entered the last lap of the race? 🏳

Yo mama got so fat

She is now forever banned from hitching a ride to the Mediterranean on the #EverGiven

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Husband and Wife

A woman woke up and told her husband about a dream she'd just had. "I was at an auction for Peni$es. The big ones sold for $1000 and the tiny ones for $10."

Husband: "What about one my size?"

Wife: "Didn't get a bid!"

Pissed off and wanting revenge, the next morning he told his ...

An Arthur episode was banned in Alabama

In the episode the kids learn that their favorite teacher is about to get married and follow him around they see him meet a woman who they assume is his wife. They don’t like her so they try to stop the wedding. In the end it turns out that the woman was his sister and that their teacher was marryin...

I think it's a bit harsh to criticise Trump for trying to ban the export of masks

He's just following medical advice and trying to keep 3M away from everyone else

Did you hear Karen was banned from the zoo?

She took a fence.

Oh sure, when Thor throws a hammer, he's a hero!

But when I do it, I'm "out of control" and "banned from home depot!"

My grandpa is a brave man

My grandpa has the heart of a lion and a life time ban from Chester zoo.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which sex position is explicitly banned in the South?

Reverse Cowgirl.

Can't turn your back on family.

A piece of string walks into a bar...

The string gets sloppy drunk, barfs all over the bar, so the bar tender kicks him out. "You're banned!"

The next night, the string wants to get back in, so he ties a not near one end and frazzles up the fibers sticking out, then walks into the bar.

The bartender yells "Aren't you that ...

A joke by Max Millar that got him banned from the BBC for 5 years in 1944

"I met a beautiful woman on a mountain trail. I didn't know whether to block her passage or toss myself off."


Reference: QI, S18E01

Why are surgeons banned from karaoke bars?

Things tend to get messy on "Open Mic" night.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just got banned from the hardware store...

Some dickhead in an apron came up to me and asked if I needed decking. Lucky I got the first punch in

Germany has banned the word good

Apparently they're going Guten free.

So NASCAR has decided to ban confederate flags at all events...

Looks like all those years of turning left rubbed off on them.

A very common male fantasy is to have 2 women at the same time

One to cook, one to clean..


Ok ban me but joke is funny.

Why is it so hard to do inventory in Afghanistan?

Because of the tally-ban.

NASCAR can't ban the confederate flag

They wave it every race with one lap to go!

Why was google translate banned in North-Korea?

The speech option was free

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bloke goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants. "I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your tits" he says....

...."You dirty pig!" shouts the barmaid, "get out before I get my husband."


The bloke apologizes and promises not to repeat his gaffe. The Barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants. "I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks of your ass and lick it al...

I got banned from Olive Garden for eating too much breadsticks

“*how many did you eat?**”
“Olive them.”

If Trump banned Tik Tok because it's made in China

Why doesn’t he just ban the Corona Virus?

The military was trying to ban transpeople from joining..

..which I find wasteful considering a portion of them are x-men.

I got banned from laser tag today.

Apparently they frown on using a knife to save ammo.

The Muslim Ban

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all Muslims had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Muslim community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Muslim community. If the Muslims won, they could stay in Italy; an...

I COMPLETELY disagree with Trump's military trans ban...

I mean, wouldn't all those attack helicopters be useful??

My friend was angry when NASCAR banned the Confederate flag from the races

But he got angrier when I pointed out they still wave it on the final lap every race

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We really shouldn't be surprised that NASCAR banned the Confederate flag and is participating in charity auctions for pride month

They've been going left for years

Petition to ban all r/Fencing members from r/Jokes

Too many ripostes.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I went to Dunkin Donuts and ordered 4 blueberry donuts and the cashier asked if I wanna box....

...I've been banned for life from that shop.

Have you heard they’ve banned accounting in Afghanistan??

Apparently there’s a Tally Ban.

People that don't know the difference between two, to, and too should be banned from this website.

Their so freaking stupid!

Sister Ya lived in communist China

Although the church was allowed there, it lived under the rule of the CCP. The more the good sister saw, the less she could ignore. It started small, ministering people with verses dedicated to freedom and truth. But the oppression became more than she could bear. She started hiding pro-democracy pa...

I just got banned from /r/fashion

Apparently they didn't like my threads

From my 8 year old...

What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an IPad? A pineapple.

Don't ban me please.

What do you call it when an authoritarian state bans alcohol?

Teetotaltarianism.

Did you hear that NASCAR is banning the Confederate Flag?

**They should ban the Finish Flag, it has a "Checkered" past.**

How‘s a ban on watching TV called in Russia?

Nyetflix

The Catholic Church banned plastic bags from its premises.

They consider them to be sac-religious.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think Tumblr banning porn has already backfired

Now more of their users are getting off than ever.

I got banned from the Secret Cooking Society

For spilling the beans

I saw a giant mouse so I tried killing it with a baseball bat

So now I have a lifetime ban from Disneyland

Why is Trump excited Russia was banned from the 2018 Winter Olympics?

It makes it easier to decide who to cheer for

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Smashed up a Vietnamese bakery today

They had no choice but to Ban Mi

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After the abortion ban in Alabama yesterday, my girlfriend is too scared to even have sex with me

Too bad my other sister isn't helping out either.

Banned

Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Para-Olympics after they tested positive for WD-40.

My Mexican father was ranting today that because our city has banned gatherings of more than 100 people due to the Coronavirus

We have to take two cars to go out to dinner as a family.

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