People are so sensitive now-a-days.

People are so sensitive now-a-days. You can’t even say “black paint.” Instead you gotta say,” Jamal, will you please paint the fence?”

A Sensitive Guy (NSFW-ish)

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.


They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the ...

When my dentist reminded me about my husband’s sensitive gag reflex, we laughed and laughed and laughed about it for a while, but then it hit me....

We have different dentists...

Rednecks are good at sensitive stuff.

Three Rednecks were working on a Cell Phone pole: Cooter, Pete and KC. As they start their descent Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Pete says, "Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife." KC says, "OK, I'm pretty g...

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What's the most sensitive part of your body when masturbating?

your ears

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[NSFW] My girlfriend wanted to find out if my balls were super sensitive or not

So she gave them a test tickle.

The metal strip in paper currency is sensitive to microwave and radio waves.

Because it apparently tends to burn a hole in the pocket.

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Which is the most sensitive part of your body when you're jerking off?



Ears. You need to know whether your mom is cumming or not.

I am from Taiwan. I am not good at English spelling but I tried my best.

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What is the most sensitive thing on a man when he is masturbating?

His hearing.

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Two FBI agents who knew sensitive classified info went to a conference in Russia...

Turns out, the conference was really long and *really* boring; almost to the point the agents got mad, so when it was over, they decided to go to a nearby nightclub for some drinks and fun.

They had just ordered their drinks and started drinking up when two incredibly gorgeous Russian women c...

Why was the burglar so sensitive?

He takes things personally

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?

A: Because all those men already have boyfriends.

If Colgate kills 99.9% of bacterias in mouth, what does Colgate sensitive do?

It kills 99.9% without hurting their feelings.

What's the most sensitive part of your body while pleasuring yourself?

Your ear listening for foot steps.

Sensitive people.

I'm the tallest in my family, so my Aunt used to call me "Lurch" from The Addams Family.

Just over the past year I started calling her "Uncle Fester" and she got so mad at me.

I guess chemotherapy makes people sensitive.

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If Reddit is supposed to be so much more sensitive than a clitoris...

... why isn't it called Rubbit?

A man sensitive to light walks out of a bar

He quickly rushes back in.

The bartender smirks, "I misjudged you. You must be a heavy drinker."

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The clitoris has nearly 8000 nerve endings.

And it’s still not nearly as sensitive as Reddit.

A smoking room in a big tech corporation

A smoking room in a big tech corporation (because the equipment is so fragile and sensitive that smoking is not allowed nearby). A lot of smoke and talk - circuits, chips, boards, punch cards and so on.

Then a young technician suddenly says, "Why we're always talking about tech things only? W...

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What is the most sensitive part of a mans anatomy while he's masturbating?

His ears.

Oooo! I get to say it! "Front page?! Wow! Thanks y'all!" Oh yea, and "RIP my inbox"
Good times!

A woman awakes in the middle of the night...



...to find her husband not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of him. He appears to be deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes away a tear from his eye.
...

Suicide stop

Back on June 9th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who...

I always feel bad using a new toothpaste

In front of my extra sensitive one.

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How do you tell if someone's balls are sensitive?

Give them a test-tickle

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Don't know why calling someone a pussy means they're sensitive and weak

Those things can take a pounding!

A Gen Z kid and a boomer walk into a bar

They sit down and the Gen Z kid orders from the gluten free vegan menu and the boomer orders a T-Bone steak.

They start chatting and the Gen Z kid says that social justice issues are the biggest problem facing the world, and that the white supremacist patriarchy is a plague on society. ...

I have sensitive teeth.

Even me just saying that offends them.

Have you heard about the new super sensitive condoms?

They hang around after the guy leaves and talk to the woman.

My wife thinks I’m not sensitive. So I got her some beads of an abacus for her birthday.

Her: What the hell are these?

Me: It’s the little things that count.

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This joke got me fired when I worked as a cook. Credit goes to Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling

A husband goes to his wife and says “You’re either going hunting with me, sucking my cock or I’m fucking you in the ass. I’m gonna go get the dogs ready and I’ll be back for your answer.”

After a bit of time, he returns to his wife who defiantly says to him “I’m not going hunting and there’s...

What’s the difference between an American school bus and a D-Day Landing Craft? (moderately sensitive)

They wait for you to leave the school bus before opening fire.

(Warning this is a religious joke, DO NOT read if you are sensitive to NSFW religious joke!)

If Satanism is the opposite of Christianity,

Then Satanist must be into MILF’s.

Why are seismologists so hard to get along with?

Because they're sensitive to a fault.

It's official! Reddit has the largest number of Ecologically sensitive people!

And in case any of you have doubts about it, the proof is in the fact this subreddit has tonnes of jokes recycled everyday!

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What is more sensitive than clitoris?

Republican party supporter's ego.

Three guys go in for a job interview.

The first guy goes in and kicks ass, best job interview he’s ever done in his life. End of the interview comes around, the interviewer says:

“By the way, do you notice anything strange about me?”

“Yeah,” says the guy… “You don’t have any EARS, man!”

“I’m sorry, says the intervie...

What do you get from sensitive poultry?

Chicken Tenders

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I was going to say a joke about a common British mammal with excrement in one of its most sensitive organs

But no, that'd be a shit eye deer

My dentist said that my gag reflex was much more sensitive than my wife's.

I didn't think anything of it at the time. Later, I realized it was super weird, because we go to different dentists.

I have sensitive teeth...

And I'm afraid I'll say something that will hurt their fillings.

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I switched to sensitive toothpaste, but I don't think it's working.

I'm still an asshole.

What do you call sensitive rappers?

Real bawlers

Bought some extra sensitive toothpaste the other day...

It got really jealous when I used a different toothpaste this morning

Women are too sensitive.

My friend said she was having twins. All I said was at least you'll finally have 2 kids with the same father.

Men are so sensitive ;)

A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping center was packed , and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and so she became so worried that she called h...

Circumcision is a sensitive subject...

...but not as sensitive as it used to be.

I'm very sensitive to sounds of a certain frequency.

When I hear them it hertz.

How do you broach the sensitive religious topic about the possibility a human soul might not actually exist?

Gingerly.

A guy walks into a bar.

"I'd like a Scotch on the rocks ... hold the ice. I have very sensitive teeth," the guy tells the bartender. "In fact, they're probably upset right now that I told you that."

A pirate with one glass-eye brings his spanish crewmate and his friend who's sensitive to cold to sink an admiral's ship.

He fails miserably and the admiral makes them all walk the plank. As the pirate falls, his fake eye plops into the ocean. "eye, sea!" The pirate yells in frustration. As the friend falls, he shivers and states: "i-i-i-cy...". The Spanish crewmate falls and merely states "Aye, si."
The admiral wa...

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I have sensitive skin...

I have sensitive skin, so I always use unscented laundry detergent and fabric softener. A few years ago, my sister gave me a set of dryer balls for my birthday. They are plastic balls with little spines that you put in the dryer and your clothes end up soft without any fabric softener. I love them, ...

The Washington Redskins are very sensitive to concerns and have decided to change their name...

...to the DC Darkies.

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A man with no ears

A man with no ears is trying to find a news reporter for his news show.

The first guy walks in and the boss says, "'This job requires you noticing a lot of details. What is one thing you notice about me?" And the guy says, "'Well, shit! You got no ears, man!" So the boss yells, ·Get the f\*\...

So this city blonde goes to a barn

She asks the farmer: “Excuse me, why does that cow have no horns?”.

The farmer, being quite the expert on the matter, explained to her with great detail:

“Well m’am, there’s many reasons why some cows don’t have horns. Some breeds don’t have horns. For example: Angus cows don’t have ...

Hear about the serial killer who was actually quite sensitive?

He wore other people's hearts on his sleeve.

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K-9 Super Dog

My dog, Enforcer, has extremely sensitive olfactory receptors. I have trained him to be able to detect everything from bombs and drugs to cancer.

We do a lot of training for the police and the process can be very annoying. There is always at least one officer that doesn't believe a dog can d...

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The Shredder

A young engineer was leaving the office at 5:45 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainl...

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