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Sensitive Jokes

A Sensitive Guy (NSFW-ish)

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.


They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the ...

People are so sensitive now-a-days.

People are so sensitive now-a-days. You can’t even say “black paint.” Instead you gotta say,” Jamal, will you please paint the fence?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you tell if someone's balls are sensitive?

Give them a test-tickle

A time sensitive joke for you guys tomorrow..

Knock Knock




Who’s there?



9/11



9/11 who?




You said you’d never forget.

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Which is the most sensitive part of your body when you're jerking off?



Ears. You need to know whether your mom is cumming or not.

I am from Taiwan. I am not good at English spelling but I tried my best.

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[NSFW] My girlfriend wanted to find out if my balls were super sensitive or not

So she gave them a test tickle.

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?

A: Because all those men already have boyfriends.

Sensitive people.

I'm the tallest in my family, so my Aunt used to call me "Lurch" from The Addams Family.

Just over the past year I started calling her "Uncle Fester" and she got so mad at me.

I guess chemotherapy makes people sensitive.

My dentist reminded me of my wife's sensitive gag reflex. We laughed & laughed.

Then I remembered that my wife & I have different dentists.

Rednecks are good at sensitive stuff.

Three Rednecks were working on a Cell Phone pole: Cooter, Pete and KC. As they start their descent Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Pete says, "Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife." KC says, "OK, I'm pretty g...

Have you heard about the new super sensitive condoms?

They hang around after the guy leaves and talk to the woman.

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What's the most sensitive part of a man's body during masturbation?

His ears.

What is the most sensitive part of your body while pleasuring yourself?

Your ear listening for foot steps.

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A woman asks her friend what her most sensitive body part is during sex.

Her friend replied: My ears
Her: Oh really?
Her friend: Yes. Because I have to keep listening whether my husband gets home.

I've been trying to come up with a somewhat sensitive joke for the anniversary of Kobe Bryant's death

But I don't think it would land properly..

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What do guitarists and ladies with sensitive vulvas have in common?

They both hate G strings.

What is Colgate Sensitive supposed to do if Colgate kills 99.9% of germs?

It kills 99.9% of them without hurting their feelings.

My extra sensitive toothpaste ...

doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes.

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After my wife and I consummated our marriage during the honeymoon, she sat me down to address the first speed bump of our lifelong commitment. "Darling I know this is something men are very sensitive about, but really, having a small penis should never ruin the love between spouses."

She's absolutely right, but you know... I still wish she didn't have one

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Two FBI agents who knew sensitive classified info went to a conference in Russia...

Turns out, the conference was really long and *really* boring; almost to the point the agents got mad, so when it was over, they decided to go to a nearby nightclub for some drinks and fun.

They had just ordered their drinks and started drinking up when two incredibly gorgeous Russian women c...

I have sensitive teeth.

Even me just saying that offends them.

The metal strip in paper currency is sensitive to microwave and radio waves.

Because it apparently tends to burn a hole in the pocket.

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Don't know why calling someone a pussy means they're sensitive and weak

Those things can take a pounding!

A sensitive man...

Some construction workers are working on a high building early in the morning.

Sadly, Steve slips off a ledge, spirals down to the ground and is critically injured.

They attempt to save him with CPR, but there is a large hole in his skull that the blood keeps squirting out of, and he...

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This joke got me fired when I worked as a cook. Credit goes to Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling

A husband goes to his wife and says “You’re either going hunting with me, sucking my cock or I’m fucking you in the ass. I’m gonna go get the dogs ready and I’ll be back for your answer.”

After a bit of time, he returns to his wife who defiantly says to him “I’m not going hunting and there’s...

A man sensitive to light walks out of a bar

He quickly rushes back in.

The bartender smirks, "I misjudged you. You must be a heavy drinker."

Why was the burglar so sensitive?

He takes things personally

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Reddit is supposed to be so much more sensitive than a clitoris...

... why isn't it called Rubbit?

My wife thinks I’m not sensitive. So I got her some beads of an abacus for her birthday.

Her: What the hell are these?

Me: It’s the little things that count.

Women are too sensitive.

My friend said she was having twins. All I said was at least you'll finally have 2 kids with the same father.

It's official! Reddit has the largest number of Ecologically sensitive people!

And in case any of you have doubts about it, the proof is in the fact this subreddit has tonnes of jokes recycled everyday!

Three guys go in for a job interview.

The first guy goes in and kicks ass, best job interview he’s ever done in his life. End of the interview comes around, the interviewer says:

“By the way, do you notice anything strange about me?”

“Yeah,” says the guy… “You don’t have any EARS, man!”

“I’m sorry, says the intervie...

How do you broach the sensitive religious topic about the possibility a human soul might not actually exist?

Gingerly.

What’s a photo sensitive persons favorite drink?

Epilepsi

My dentist said that my gag reflex was much more sensitive than my wife's.

I didn't think anything of it at the time. Later, I realized it was super weird, because we go to different dentists.

I have sensitive teeth...

And I'm afraid I'll say something that will hurt their fillings.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I switched to sensitive toothpaste, but I don't think it's working.

I'm still an asshole.

Hear about the serial killer who was actually quite sensitive?

He wore other people's hearts on his sleeve.

A pirate with one glass-eye brings his spanish crewmate and his friend who's sensitive to cold to sink an admiral's ship.

He fails miserably and the admiral makes them all walk the plank. As the pirate falls, his fake eye plops into the ocean. "eye, sea!" The pirate yells in frustration. As the friend falls, he shivers and states: "i-i-i-cy...". The Spanish crewmate falls and merely states "Aye, si."
The admiral wa...

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What is more sensitive than clitoris?

Republican party supporter's ego.

My friend is really sensitive about his lack of height.

It's best not to tease him about though, or he'll punch you in the knee.

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The vagina has more than 8000 nerve endings

But it’s still not nearly as sensitive as Reddit.

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I was going to say a joke about a common British mammal with excrement in one of its most sensitive organs

But no, that'd be a shit eye deer

The Washington Redskins are very sensitive to concerns and have decided to change their name...

...to the DC Darkies.

How do Chinese Cowboys greet each other?

They say, "NiHowdy!"

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Four musicians are arguing about who gives the best blowjobs in the band.

The first says, “Clarinet players are the best, because they can put so much in their mouth and still play beautifully.”

The second says, “No, it’s flute players! They can handle the mouthpiece sensitively while still using their fingers.”

The third still disagrees, and says “It’s oboe...

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This test is intended for males to test their sensitivity:

1) In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

- a) Lovemaking
- b) Screwing
- c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

2) You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:

- a) Your views about what you expect from a s...

It's midnight and a woman awakes to find her husband not in bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of him.


He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes away a tear from his eye.


"What's the matter, dear...

The hells angels are riding....

On January 13th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, California bikers were riding along Colorado Street in Pasadena when they saw a girl about to jump off Pasadena's Suicide Bridge. So they stopped.
John, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the S...

What's the difference between your password and glass luggage?

One's case sensitive and the other's a sensitive case.

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A Visit to the Tailor (Slightly NSFW)

A man starts getting chronic headaches and his testicles swell and become very sensitive. The doctor informs him that his testicles must be amputated or he risks death. The guy reluctantly agrees and the operation is performed. Several days later he comes in for a follow-up. He gets a clean bill of ...

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Pinocchio

Pinocchio is in bed with his girlfriend doing what wooden boys do with their girlfriends.

When it is over, he notices she is crying. He asks her what's wrong and she says : "Oh Pinocchio, you're the sweetest lover in the world, but every time we have sex, I get splinters!"

Pinocchio i...

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Don’t crack jokes about clitoris [NSFW]

It is a sensitive spot for many people.

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