People are so sensitive now-a-days.

People are so sensitive now-a-days. You can’t even say “black paint.” Instead you gotta say,” Jamal, will you please paint the fence?”

A Sensitive Guy (NSFW-ish)

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.


They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the ...

When my dentist reminded me about my husband’s sensitive gag reflex, we laughed and laughed and laughed about it for a while, but then it hit me....

We have different dentists...

What do you call a sensitive blind person?

Touchy-feely

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What's the most sensitive part of your body when masturbating?

your ears

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Which is the most sensitive part of your body when you're jerking off?



Ears. You need to know whether your mom is cumming or not.

I am from Taiwan. I am not good at English spelling but I tried my best.

Rednecks are good at sensitive stuff.

Three Rednecks were working on a Cell Phone pole: Cooter, Pete and KC. As they start their descent Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Pete says, "Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife." KC says, "OK, I'm pretty g...

A time sensitive joke for you guys tomorrow..

Knock Knock




Who’s there?



9/11



9/11 who?




You said you’d never forget.

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[NSFW] My girlfriend wanted to find out if my balls were super sensitive or not

So she gave them a test tickle.

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What is the most sensitive thing on a man when he is masturbating?

His hearing.

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Two FBI agents who knew sensitive classified info went to a conference in Russia...

Turns out, the conference was really long and *really* boring; almost to the point the agents got mad, so when it was over, they decided to go to a nearby nightclub for some drinks and fun.

They had just ordered their drinks and started drinking up when two incredibly gorgeous Russian women c...

The metal strip in paper currency is sensitive to microwave and radio waves.

Because it apparently tends to burn a hole in the pocket.

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?

A: Because all those men already have boyfriends.

If Colgate kills 99.9% of bacterias in mouth, what does Colgate sensitive do?

It kills 99.9% without hurting their feelings.

Sensitive people.

I'm the tallest in my family, so my Aunt used to call me "Lurch" from The Addams Family.

Just over the past year I started calling her "Uncle Fester" and she got so mad at me.

I guess chemotherapy makes people sensitive.

What's the most sensitive part of your body while pleasuring yourself?

Your ear listening for foot steps.

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A man is in a car accident and when he wakes up in hospital his wife is at his bedside while the doctor gives him some bad news.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news" says the doctor, "you're fine except for one thing, your penis was badly injured and we had to amputate it.. however, the good news is your insurance has paid out £6,000 for this injury and we have the technology to give you a fully functional prosthetic penis, now,...

Greatest truck driver in the world - mild nsfw

Frank was the greatest truck driver in the world, he could take that truck places that shouldn't be possible.

One night Frank, who had been driving for a solid shift, found himself on an unfamiliar stretch of road. It had been a wet day and the fog was rolling in, making it impossible to see ...

Why was the burglar so sensitive?

He takes things personally

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Ooops

A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?"...

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What is the most sensitive part of a mans anatomy while he's masturbating?

His ears.

Oooo! I get to say it! "Front page?! Wow! Thanks y'all!" Oh yea, and "RIP my inbox"
Good times!

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If Reddit is supposed to be so much more sensitive than a clitoris...

... why isn't it called Rubbit?

A man sensitive to light walks out of a bar

He quickly rushes back in.

The bartender smirks, "I misjudged you. You must be a heavy drinker."

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The clitoris has nearly 8000 nerve endings.

And it’s still not nearly as sensitive as Reddit.

Have you heard about the new super sensitive condoms?

They hang around after the guy leaves and talk to the woman.

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How do you tell if someone's balls are sensitive?

Give them a test-tickle

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Don't know why calling someone a pussy means they're sensitive and weak

Those things can take a pounding!

I have sensitive teeth.

Even me just saying that offends them.

My wife thinks I’m not sensitive. So I got her some beads of an abacus for her birthday.

Her: What the hell are these?

Me: It’s the little things that count.

A Gen Z kid and a boomer walk into a bar

They sit down and the Gen Z kid orders from the gluten free vegan menu and the boomer orders a T-Bone steak.

They start chatting and the Gen Z kid says that social justice issues are the biggest problem facing the world, and that the white supremacist patriarchy is a plague on society. ...

A woman awakes in the middle of the night...



...to find her husband not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of him. He appears to be deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes away a tear from his eye.
...

What’s a photo sensitive persons favorite drink?

Epilepsi

Suicide stop

Back on June 9th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who...

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This joke got me fired when I worked as a cook. Credit goes to Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling

A husband goes to his wife and says “You’re either going hunting with me, sucking my cock or I’m fucking you in the ass. I’m gonna go get the dogs ready and I’ll be back for your answer.”

After a bit of time, he returns to his wife who defiantly says to him “I’m not going hunting and there’s...

It's official! Reddit has the largest number of Ecologically sensitive people!

And in case any of you have doubts about it, the proof is in the fact this subreddit has tonnes of jokes recycled everyday!

A smoking room in a big tech corporation

A smoking room in a big tech corporation (because the equipment is so fragile and sensitive that smoking is not allowed nearby). A lot of smoke and talk - circuits, chips, boards, punch cards and so on.

Then a young technician suddenly says, "Why we're always talking about tech things only? W...

What do you get from sensitive poultry?

Chicken Tenders

My dentist said that my gag reflex was much more sensitive than my wife's.

I didn't think anything of it at the time. Later, I realized it was super weird, because we go to different dentists.

I have sensitive teeth...

And I'm afraid I'll say something that will hurt their fillings.

I always feel bad using a new toothpaste

In front of my extra sensitive one.

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I was going to say a joke about a common British mammal with excrement in one of its most sensitive organs

But no, that'd be a shit eye deer

Three guys go in for a job interview.

The first guy goes in and kicks ass, best job interview he’s ever done in his life. End of the interview comes around, the interviewer says:

“By the way, do you notice anything strange about me?”

“Yeah,” says the guy… “You don’t have any EARS, man!”

“I’m sorry, says the intervie...

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I switched to sensitive toothpaste, but I don't think it's working.

I'm still an asshole.

Women are too sensitive.

My friend said she was having twins. All I said was at least you'll finally have 2 kids with the same father.

Men are so sensitive ;)

A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping center was packed , and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and so she became so worried that she called h...

Bought some extra sensitive toothpaste the other day...

It got really jealous when I used a different toothpaste this morning

What do you call sensitive rappers?

Real bawlers

I'm very sensitive to sounds of a certain frequency.

When I hear them it hertz.

Circumcision is a sensitive subject...

...but not as sensitive as it used to be.

A pirate with one glass-eye brings his spanish crewmate and his friend who's sensitive to cold to sink an admiral's ship.

He fails miserably and the admiral makes them all walk the plank. As the pirate falls, his fake eye plops into the ocean. "eye, sea!" The pirate yells in frustration. As the friend falls, he shivers and states: "i-i-i-cy...". The Spanish crewmate falls and merely states "Aye, si."
The admiral wa...

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I have sensitive skin...

I have sensitive skin, so I always use unscented laundry detergent and fabric softener. A few years ago, my sister gave me a set of dryer balls for my birthday. They are plastic balls with little spines that you put in the dryer and your clothes end up soft without any fabric softener. I love them, ...

The Washington Redskins are very sensitive to concerns and have decided to change their name...

...to the DC Darkies.

How do you broach the sensitive religious topic about the possibility a human soul might not actually exist?

Gingerly.

Why are seismologists so hard to get along with?

Because they're sensitive to a fault.

A guy walks into a bar.

"I'd like a Scotch on the rocks ... hold the ice. I have very sensitive teeth," the guy tells the bartender. "In fact, they're probably upset right now that I told you that."

Hear about the serial killer who was actually quite sensitive?

He wore other people's hearts on his sleeve.

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