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Medalist Jokes

What do a priest and a silver medalists have in common?

They both came in a little behind

Olympic Gold medalist Picabo Street retired from sports to work in the hospital. A doctor has a patient in need of intensive care and cannot find her.

The doctor calls her station and she answers, "Picabo, ICU."

Hear about the first Polish Olympic gold medalist?

He was so proud, he had his medal bronzed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a party in the Olympic Village one night...

... and from across the room, a sprinter sees a diver talking to the most beautiful woman that he has ever laid eyes on. Later in the evening, the sprinter approaches the diver to ask about her.

"I just can't get her out of my head!" the sprinter says. "I have to sleep with her! Who is she?"<...

Phineas and Ferb just finished another machine.

The machine could enhance someone's ability to swordfight with just a single dose. After enhancing himself, Phineas first faced a regular man, who he defeated with ease. Then he brought in an Olympic gold-medalist fencer. Phineas easily deflected all of the attacks and struck with unmatchable speed....

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My grandpa was telling me about the time he won a contest at an Erectile Dysfunction convention

He's an Ol' limp dick gold medalist

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A CIA superspy assasin retires...

... So the agency posts an ad on Craigslist to fill the position. After a while, the field is narrowed down to just three well qualified applicants. They're flown to Langley to interview.

The first candidate is Major Ron L Lubbold: Army Ranger, a 15 year veteran of 6 combat deployments and ov...

An Olympic Gymnast walks into a bar.

He gets a two point penalty and ruins his life-long ambition of becoming an Olympic medalist.

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