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Phelps Jokes

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Whats the difference between michael phelps and hitler?

Michael phelps can finish a race.

Michael Phelps is such a good swimmer...

He was conceived anally

How amazing is Michael Phelps?

He's got like a Brazilian Medals.

In light of micheal phelps defeat...

You could say he got schooled

THIS JUST IN: Michael Phelps is reportedly joining the rap olympics.

They are already calling him swim shady.

If you were stranded on an island and could bring three items what would you bring?

Michael Phelps, a saddle, and stick with a gold medal on the end.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fred Phelps, leader of Westboro Baptist Church, found dead in home surrounded by piles of partially chewed food. Cause of death: starvation. Next to his body was a note in his own handwriting

"Can't swallow cause that's gay"

Michael Phelps will be the flag bearer for the 2016 USA Olympic Team

I hope he holds our flag high.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men went on a swimming competition. An American, a Japanese and a Filipino.

The rule was simple, swim through the lake full of alligators, reach the other side alive and win unlimited cash.

Confident, Phelps went first. But in the middle of his dive, a gator appeared in front of him and swallowed him whole.

The crowd was shocked, yet they all booed.

Eag...

What do you call bacteria that can swim fast?

Micro Phelps.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

@&#<#&*@>×>!!*

Two Antennae met on a roof, fell in love, and got married.

The ceremony wasn't that good, but the *reception* was incredible!

^@<#@*@:×>×&@!*!>@

A pastor was filling out paperwork at his desk, wh...

A thief breaks into the home of celebrities to steal their most prized possessions

After he's done, he always leaves a note letting them know exactly what he's stolen. One night, he breaks into Madonna's house. She finds a note the next day that says "Thanks for the Persian lamb's wool coat! This will be perfect for my wife."

The next day, he breaks into Simon Cowell's home...

Rich man shenanigans

There was once an extremely wealthy man who was known for his eccentric habits. One fine evening, he sent out an invite to all the young, able-bodied men of his city for a very "special" dinner, promising a grand prize for one lucky soul.

Knowing the rich man's generous nature, a hundred you...

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