What do a Credit Card and a Gymnast have in common?

Outstanding Balance!

What does a gymnast put on popcorn?

Somersault

What do you call a generous gymnast?

A flipanthropist.

What does a cannibal call a gymnast?

A well balanced breakfast.

A gymnast walks into a bar...

She is then deducted five points.

Did you hear about that poor gymnast's bank account?

Her balance was outstanding.

I used to date a hot 95 pound gymnast with ADD

I just realized she may be the best fidget spinner I'll ever get to play with...

Did you hear about the Olympic gymnast that was a convicted felon?

He was always known for some assaults

A gymnast walks into a bar.

He gets a two point deduction and ruins his chances of getting a medal.

A french gymnast is getting ready to perform...

His coach walks up and says, "Break a leg!"

What is the name of one of the Chinese gymnasts competing at the Rio Olympics?

Wai Tu Yung

Do cannibals try to eat gymnasts...

for a more balanced diet?

A North Korean Gymnast walks into a bar

his family is summarily executed.

Watching gymnastics

*gymnast does a double-triple-super-ultra-backflip-frontflip but takes a tiny step when she lands*

Me : *mouthful of pringles* what a loser

Question: What's AAAA?

Answer: A couple of female gymnasts' bra cup sizes.

Perspectives

A drunk gets into a tram and as he was quite dizzy, has a seat.
At the next stop, a young aspiring girl who is training to become a gymnast gets on. As there were no free seats, she stands right above our drunken fellow, hanging on to the bar for balance.
That day was a summer day, so due to t...

God is having a tough day

(Not sure if this is a repost)

It’s particularly busy in heaven, and God decides that he is only going to let the most upsetting and ridiculous deaths into heaven.

The day goes on and around midday three men arrive at St. Peter’s gates, and god stops them, he says...

“Sorry guys...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Take that back Olympics

Here are the top nine comments made by sports commentators during the Olympics that they would like to take back....

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is...

Three dead improv actors are told that only those who died a horrible death are allowed to enter Heaven due to overcrowding

So, the first thinks for a second and then explains to St. Peter that he got home and found his wife naked in bed in the middle of day. Suspecting adultery, he had searched their 10th floor apartment until he finally found a man hanging from the balcony by his finger nails.

Overcome with jeal...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Prayers

A WOMAN'S POEM:


Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks..
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when ...