What does a cannibalistic football player say to his teammates before a high five?

“Give me some skin!”

Why does T-Rex get to play only when his teammate is in penalty box?

He only scores short-handed goals

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

"...and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Old Teammate Ron.

So when I was in high school we had a standout basketball player (Ron) who was destined to be in the NBA in his life. As a sophomore, he was 6'7" 230, super athletic and was a star in any sport he played, but he loved basketball the most. One night he was out celebrating after a win and his buddy wa...

While having an all-out war with underwater warships, I accidentally hit one of my teammates.

Oops wrong sub.

Why was Shakespeare always a good teammate to have?

Because no matter the sport, he would always play write

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My team decided to establish a tradition

Everyone on the team would sit in a circle surrounding the team captain before the start of the season. He would then headbutt the ball at one of us, and they would have to headbutt it back at him. The captain would then headbutt it at the person sitting next to them. This would repeat as it cycled ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a man who was madly in love with a girl named Wendy.

He loved her so much that he decided to get a "WENDY" tattoo on his penis. Later he noticed that when he was not hard, you could only see WY on his penis. One day the man was at the showers after his basketball practice, when he noticed his black teammate also had WY on his penis. Naturally he asked...

A goalkeeper and a striker are arguing over who's the better writer in their soccer team.

Their argument becomes so heated that their coach suggests that they do an essay-writing competition. The two teammates agree.

The next day, the two of them are told to spend 2 hours typing an essay on the team's history and tactics on two old-fashioned desktop computers with attached printer...

2010. Football match between Brazil and Poland.

During the game Ronaldinho was the only one holding the ball. His teammates decided to leave him alone on the pitch.
After the game Ronaldinho meets his teammates at the bar.
- So how was the game?
- I have won 3 to 1.
- You only scored 3 goals? What happened?
- I was given a red car...

A man hears the phone ringing...

A man hears the phone ringing while he is in his sports team change room, he picks it up.

"Hey honey, I saw a really nice dress for $1000, can I buy it? It looks really nice" said the voice.

"Sure, go ahead if you like it so much" the man says.

"Thanks, and also the car we looke...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was once a captain of a football team..

for whom English wasn't the primary language, so he was still learning to speak it from his teammates now and then.

There came a huge club championship, at the final of which the captain found his team winning towards the end of the match. So he asks a teammate to provide him with good lines ...

The 2 Soldiers

2 soldiers are on the battle field. One soldier drops his cherished pocket watch on the ground. As he reaches for it, his teammate gets shot and falls on top of it. His teammate looks at him with fear in his eyes and says, "There's no way I'm going to get out of this, I am going to die..." The soldi...

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