UPJOKE
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Meaning Of Jokes

Comas can really change the meaning of a sentence...

For instance:
"Ben is in a hurry."
"Ben is in a coma."

Amazing how a colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence

For example:

-Jane ate her friend's sandwich.

-Jane ate her friend's colon.

The use of a colon can really change the intended meaning of a sentence.

Jimmy went to school and ate his lunch

becomes

Jimmy went to school and ate his colon.

The Meaning of Life

A Redditor walks into a bar and asks the bartender

“Bartender, get me something new and fresh from r/jokes.” He chirped

“Sorry mate, all we have are reposts from the last 8 years”

“How can this be!” The Redditor exclaimed “If I can’t get my fix from r/jokes, then what is the poi...

Commas can change the meaning of a sentence.

Example:

I like to eat apples. ---> I like to eat commas.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently learned the meaning of threesome

It's when three people have sex together. And a foursome is the same, but with four people. Now i know, why my teacher always called me a handsome guy

My friend told me that I don't understand the meaning of irony...

...which was ironic because we were at a train station

The meaning of life

On the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back t...

My teacher asked me, "What is the meaning of Apocalypse"..

I didn't know what it meant, and she got really angry. I mean come one, it's not like it's the end of the world.

I asked a lot of people the meaning of LGBTQ

.
.
None of them gave me a straight answer

The meaning of "politics"

The word "politics" derives from the Greek "poly-", meaning "many", and "ticks", meaning "blood-sucking parasites".

A woman said to her husband: "I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls. What do you think it means?"

The man smiled and said: "You'll know tonight." That evening, the man came home with a small package which he gave to his wife. She embraced him, and then slowly and unwrapped the package. It contained a book entitled, The Meaning of Dreams.

There are two kinds of people: those who know the meaning of the word 'inflammable',

and I would like to offer my condolences to the grieving families of the second group.

The real meaning of happiness

Today I donated a watch, a phone and $500 to a poor guy.You can't know the happiness I felt as I saw him put his knife back in his pocket.

I found the meaning of life.

It’s on page 937 in the dictionary between the words lie and lifeboat.

The Meaning Of Life

A young man goes to search for the meaning of life. He decides to ask around.


The first person he meets is a wealthy man. "That's easy," he says. "The meaning of life is to accumulate wealth. Then you can transform and inspire your community." The young man takes this advice to heart. He ...

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A teacher asked the class if anyone knew the meaning of the word contagious.

Little Billy puts his hand up and the teacher says “Billy, you know the meaning of the word contagious?” Billy says “yes Miss, I do!” The teacher replies, “well then Billy, I’d like to see you use it in a sentence” Billy says “ok then, the other day my dad and I were walking down the road and saw a ...

I used to work with a hard working guy who didn't know the meaning of the word surrender, or the meaning of the word capitulate, didn't even know the meaning of the word abandon....

When he retired we bought him a dictionary.

The meaning of the word “oops” is actually highly dependent on context

I learned that when I heard my barber say it and then my brain surgeon later that day

A kind stranger recently taught me the meaning of Plethora ....

Thank you kind sir, It means a lot.

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The true meaning of disappointment is

Running into a wall with a boner and breaking you nose first.

I went to Germany, stood outside a famous baroque composer’s house, and pondered the meaning of life.

That’s what you call thinking outside the Bach’s.

I just taught myself the meaning of the word "autodidact".

That's it.

What do you call a Dinosaur who contemplates the meaning of life?

A Philophosaurus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Teacher ask Kevin for the meaning of... (NSFW)

Teacher ask Kevin for the meaning of: The Government, The Capitalism, The Working Class, The People, The Future and how they relate to each other.


Kevin gets home and asks his Mom about it; Mom replies: "WTF, you cannot see I'm busy here? Go and ask your dad about it, He is always just wa...

The meaning of life.

A man weary of what seems to be his pointless struggles hears that high in the Himalayas there can be found a old wise guru who knows the meaning of life.
Withdrawing all his money he sets out on the months long arduous and treacherous journey. After suffering extreme cold and coming close to dy...

I wanted to thank everyone for sticking with me while I figured out the meaning of “many”

It means a lot

My friend says I don't understand the meaning of "irony"

Despite the fact I keep telling him it's "metallic"

What’s the meaning of eternal love?

Two blind people playing tennis.

Some of my friends are really hurtful. I feel like many of them don't understand the meaning of the word "commitment".

I've invited them to four of my weddings in the past two years and they haven't attended any of them.

I never learn the true meaning of NTR until recently.

'Nothing to report.' Said the girl.

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"Watson, do you know the meaning of the word constipation?"

"No shit, Sherlock"

I’d like to say thanks to the person who taught me the meaning of the word “many”

It really means a lot

The meaning of life

A philosophy professor wants to do a lasting final lecture before retiring, so he chooses to teach about the meaning of life. He gets into the classroom and puts a big empty jar on the table. He starts to fill the jar with cobble to the top and asks the class whether the jar is filled or not. They a...

TIFU by misinterpreting the meaning of shower thoughts and getting banned from the sub

I still think "I like when people get me hot and come inside me" is something a shower would think though.

Where do you find the meaning of life?

The dictionary

I just found out about the second meaning of BBC....

Who cares about British television?

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My teacher asked me what's the meaning of the word "mother".

(This joke is originally in my native language; Thai.
Let's see how well this jokes holds up after translation)

She asked me what is the meaning of "mother"?

But I couldn't answer her, so she told me to ask my dad.

So later that evening I asked my dad, "dad, my teacher told m...

Some men are discussing the meaning of life...

Some men are sitting around discussing the meaning of life.

One turns and asks the others, "If tomorrow all your loved ones found themselves at a funeral, gathered around your casket, what would you want to hear them say?"

One starts off saying, "I hope they would say I was a good fath...

true meaning of duck tape

duck tape turns a no no no to a hmm hmm hmm

Punctuation is important. Improperly used periods can alter the meaning of the entire sentence.

For example:

Teresa was on her trampoline, moving up and down in utter bliss.

Teresa was on her period, moving up and down in utter bliss.

I have discovered that the hokey pokey is the meaning of life.

Cause that's what it's all about

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What is the meaning of life?

A movie.

Told to me by Siri. Pissed myself.

I don't know the meaning of the word "quit." I was going to look it up, but...

I still have some suicidal thoughts, but most of them have already killed themselves.

I’m a perfectionist. I’ve been writing and rewriting a suicide note for twelve years. It’s killing me.

My friend asked, “Must you write so many suicide jokes?”
“Don’t worry. I’ll stop soon.”

I like using big words I don't know the meaning of

I think it makes me sound very photosynthesis,

I found the meaning of life!

noun

the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.

I thought I understood the meaning of when pigs fly,

But then the swine flu

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I made a computer that understands the meaning of sex, women and everything.

Deep thot

I've finally understood the meaning of "politics"

It's derived from "poly", the Greek word for "many", and "tics", a blood sucking parasite.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The maid told her mistress :"I think I deserve a raise"

Mistress : Give me reasons why you need a raise?"

Maid "I cook better than you"

Mistress :" Who told that?"

Maid " Your husband did."

Mistress "Hmmm"

Maid "I clean the house better than you"

Mistress :" Who told that?"

Maid " Your husband did."
...

My Wife and I must be getting older. The meaning of 69 has changed ...

Now we just lay on the bed and tie each others shoes.

The meaning of the word "Poor"

Poor (noun) = When you have too much month at the end of your money

Two friends having gotten tired of using instant communication, decided to use old fashioned means of messaging each other, such as pigeons.

For a few days, it is great. Then one day, a pigeon shows up at one friends house with a blank piece of paper.

Angry, the receiver phones his friend to ask what was the meaning of the message.

To which his friend calmly replies, "Oh, that was a missed call."

Ever since learning the meaning of the word exponentially my use of the word exponentially has increased

loads

If a man doesn't know the meaning of the word 'stop', he shouldn't even get a job as a

bus driver.

A boy asks his father what is the meaning of the Solar Eclipse?

The father replies "No son"

The double meaning of Christmas!

I bought a new 6 foot, artificial, LED Christmas tree yesterday.

The sales assistant asked " Are you putting this up yourself sir?"

"No, it's going in the living room as usual" I replied.

There are several factors when talking about the meaning of life.

2, 3, and 7

Last night I woke up in the middle of dreaming about the meaning of life.

It was very eye opening.

My girlfriend told me to stop procrastinating. I said, "I don't know the meaning of the word!"

"...but I'll look it up later."

I Was Today Years Old When I Found Out The Meaning Of The Joke "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road" (Mind Blown!)

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"To get to the other side"

It's a joke about suicide. The chicken crossed the road to get hit by a car and reach the "other side" or the after life.

I just thought it was a dumb joke.

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