The bartender says, "We don't serve strings in here."
So the string goes outside, tangles itself up, mashes itself up a bit, and walks back into the bar. The bartender says, "Aren't you the string that was just in here?"
"No. I'm a frayed knot."
A doctor goes to the same bar every day and orders an Almond Daiquiri
He gets to be so regular, showing up at the same time every day, that the bartender knows to make the drink and has it waiting for the doc when he arrives.
One day the bartender goes to make it and realizes he doesn't have any almonds. He does, however, have some hickory nuts. So he mashes th...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A little old lady calls a carpet installation company to redo her living room carpeting...
Mitch arrives, takes measurements and begins work. He pulls out the old carpeting, sands the floor down and lays in the new carpet. It takes all day.
When he's finally done he notices a small lump under the carpet in one corner of the floor. "Ah, fuck. What the hell is this now?" he says. He...
Old farmer Joe is checking on his chickens
He notices that one of his chickens, Betty, is producing more eggs than any other chicken on the farm. What’s even more interesting is that they all look identical: same little freckle on the top, same patterns, even exactly the same colour! “This really is unusual,” he exclaims, and decides to inve...
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