UPJOKE
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Steamroller Jokes

What do pumpkins, watermelons, and cantaloupes in the path of a steamroller have in common?

They all end up as squash.

Ba dum tiss.

What do you call Batman and Robin after they get run over by a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon.

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?

*“Curses! Foil again!”*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paddy is plowing his field with a steamroller.

Seamus comes up to him and says "Paddy, you don't plow a field with a steamroller you stupid bastard".

Paddy stops mid-field, looking at Seamus in disbelief.

Finally, Paddy says: "I'm growing mashed potatoes, you thick cunt".

Did you hear about the guy who was run over in a freak steamroller incident in a printing shop?

He made quite a splash across the headlines, but left a good impression on paper

Badoom pssshhh

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a lobster and a Japanese woman run over by a steamroller?

One's a crustacean and the other is a crushed Asian.

Did you hear about the man who stepped in front of a steamroller?

He was depressed

I love these definitions!

\-- Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.



\-- Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.



\-- Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.



\-- Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. ...

crabs.

which is the odd one out, a crab, a lobster, a woodlouse or a Chinese man under a steamroller.?

A woodlouse.

because the rest are all crushed asians.

(Mentions of gore) Once upon a time, there was a very brave but very arrogant man…

This man claimed he could survive anything. He survived falls from various heights, various guns, sharp objects and even acid.

One day, he declared he was going to survive a steamroller. So this brave man went in the roller’s path…

He sadly died that day, but the most important thing ...

The Poor Snake Named Nate

So... Nate the Snake was the king of the jungle, by virtue of his
immense size. Nate was the size of a freight train, and had a similar outlook on life. He ruled largely through terror and intimidation.


One day Nate the Snake was rumbling through the jungle, as was his own. Whenev...

Did you hear about Political Knieval?

He tried to jump over all 50 congressmen with a steamroller

I met a woman who warned me not to approach Dio.

If I did, he would stop time and flatten me with a steamroller.

I decided to ignore her and challenge him anyways.

As I lay there dying on the ground, I take solace knowing that the woman is laughing at me in such a way that she looks just as stupid as I do.

TL;DR... I'm no all-...

Have you heard of Evil Knievals brother Ku Klux Knievel?

He once tried to jump 50 black mean on a steamroller.

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