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Mailed Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yesterday my SON e-mailed me asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.

Like sitting around playing on my computer is not a good thing? I asked.

Talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be his favorite topic of conversation.

He said he was "only thinking of me", he said and suggested that I go down to the Senior Center and hang out with the men. ...

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer.

They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to setup a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.'
So Satan and Jesus...

A United States Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend.

In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him.

To add injury to the insult, she said she wanted back the picture of herself that she had given him.

So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wrote a joke about how crappy the post office is and mailed it to my dad.

He didn't get it.

I mailed you a joke from 12 miles away at 43,200 miles per hour.

It might take a second for you to get it.

My Grandma E-Mailed me this one

When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.
When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems.
When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.

Apparently, ice is really bad for y...

My chemistry professor e-mailed this joke to me.

***A joke from my chemistry professor:***

There is a far-off place that consists of a triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. The first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. The second kingdom is more humble, but ...

I mailed myself a package the other day. I can’t remember what I put in it, though.

Oh well, it’ll come to me.

I mailed my maths homework to Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin and Queen Elizabeth II

...it said to give my answers to 3 significant figures.

Have you heard about the dyslexic spy who got caught with a suitcase nuke in the post office?

Fission mailed!

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