UPJOKE
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Did you hear about the cannibal who switched to Spam?

He said it's the greatest thing since sliced Fred

“Can you please stop sending me Spam emails?”

“I’m a vegetarian.”

Are you interested in making $$$$ fast? (read - not spam)

Are you interested in making $$$$ fast?

Here's an incredibly simple way to do it,
and there is nothing to buy,
no investment to make,
no money to lose!

Try it now!

Follow this simple procedure:

1) Hold down the shift key.

2) Hit the 4 key four times fast.

Spam in the Middle Ages

A prince is awaiting a letter from his loved one for three days and three nights. On the fourth day, a pigeon flies in and drops a letter on his lap. When he opens it he reads:

"Get your sword forged for cheap"

Whenever I feel depressed in life.. I open my E-Mail spam inbox

I find:

* 10 banks are giving me easy loans.

* I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons.

* 10 Job companies have best jobs for me.

* 5 matrimonial sites have most suited matches for me.

* Dr. Batra has claimed that he will cure my hair fall.
...

My account got hacked. If you get a DM about meat from me, don't click on it.

It's spam

I swear, if I got a nickel for every spam call I got

I would finally be able to pay for my car's extended warranty

I just got hired as CEO of the Spam food company.

Suddenly nobody will answers my emails.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do spam emails and porn have in common?

They both make me insecure about my penis.

Yo mamma so fat..

that the only reason she opened her email was because she heard it contained spam.

I got an e-mail saying “At Google Earth, we can even read maps backwards”, and I thought...

“That’s just spam”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How is spam different to a penis?

One is junk mail, the other is male junk

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump was asked " what is 2+2"??

"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'Sir!, What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Ad...

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders minced pork shoulder and ham, pressed it into a block and served in a can.

POST REMOVED

**Rule 3 - No Spam posts.**

What happened to the car-salesman who was spamming in r/Germany?

He got autobahned

If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat, don't open it....

It's spam

We’ll we’ll we’ll

If it isn’t autocorrect...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Who needs all those spam emails? I finally found a way to make my penis 8 inches!

Just fold it in half.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nothing says “I guess I’ll just watch some porn,”

like accidentally opening your spam folder.

A girl broke up with me once over food

She didn’t like it when I made certain Hawaiian and Korean foods that I ate growing up.

Now she has me in her phone as “Spam Risk”.

I received an email about an online course on Map Reading & Navigation.

They say it's so good you'll be able to read maps backwards.

But I soon realized it was just spam.

Did you know google maps can work backwards?

But it always gets caught in the spam filter!

I got an email telling me that it was vegan month...

I felt bad putting the message in spam.

When the government criminalized canned meat...

People were reported for spam

If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu from tins of ham then delete it.

It's spam.

WARNING: There's an email going round...

...offering Processed Pork, Gelatin, and Salt in a Can.

If you get this email, DO NOT OPEN IT.

It's spam!

It must be brutal trying to make legitimate phone calls from the headquarters of the Hormel Foods Corporation

Your caller ID would always show up as “Potential SPAM”

Someone just sent me an email about potted meat.

I didn’t open it, it looked like Spam.

After looking at my phones call log, I seem to be pretty popular

I even have a guy named Spam Risk that calls me 5 or 6 times a day.

What do you call canned pork laced with Ritalin?

Short Attention Spam

Don’t accept a friend request from Hormel Foods.

It could be SPAM.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Looks like Trump is keeping up Michelle's ideals of getting America fit again.

One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.

Edit: Yes, yes MILLIONS. I wasn't sure if those sources were true or not when I posted.

Also, the spam from the Trump people is great. I feel like I'm on the *real*...

~Do you ever feel so lonely~

You take spam calls

FFS my Reddit has been hacked. Please ignore any messages you may get from me about tinned meat...

It’s spam

Did you hear Pantene recalled all of their women’s shampoo?

Biden said if elected he will personally sniff out this situation.



PS, before spamming my inbox I’m a Democrat that just likes a good joke.

A lame joke I made up based on an existing joke. Sorry if it's bad.

One day Sean joined a quiz team.

He and his teammates studied really hard for a quiz competition.

On the night of the quiz competition, in the last round, Sean and his team was 1 point behind first place.

However, they had one more question that if answered correctly, would awar...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's an email going around

offering processed pork, gelatin, and salt in a can. If you get this email, do not open it.

It's spam.



Crap looks like /r/jokes is going to delete my joke

"These are jokes. Some of them are old, and as such reflect the tone of the times. Some of them are new, and just as...

What's a computer's least favorite food

Spam.

I hate jokes about canned meat

They’re mostly spam

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I sent a lot of meat product to a friends house

He got pissed off and called me out on all the spam

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about...

The terrorist that was recently caught at a London airport with 3 cans of Spam jammed up his arse?

Police later confirmed he was a member of Ham Ass.

I signed up for the newsletter at my local ham market.

But all they sent was a bunch of spam.

Just received an e.mail stating $50 dollars to see Cardi B. live.

I'm probably not the right person to spam for these types of ransoms.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?" The Princess immediately said, "No!"

And the Prince lived happily ever after, and rode motorcycles and dated thin, long-legged, full-breasted women and hunted and fished and raced cars, and went to titty bars and dated ladies half his age and drank whiskey, beer, and Captain Morgan, and never heard bitching and never paid child support...

At the end of a very strange day, a Jewish-turned Catholic man calls his Catholic friend to chat.

The moment the Catholic picks up, the former-Jewish man tells him that he had several people knocking at his door at two in the morning when he least expected it. The former Jewish man tells his friend that from his sleep-addled perspective, they strangely almost seemed like they were covered in sca...

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