This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

ONE GERMAN, ONE JAPANESE AND A HILLBILLY WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA.

Suddenly, there was a beeping sound. The German pressed her forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at her questionly.

"That was my pager," she said. " I have a microchip implanted under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The Japanese woman lifted her...

Three billionaires are out golfing together

Suddenly, a ringing sound is heard. The first of the three pulls an earpiece out of his pocket and takes a call. When finished, he brags to the others about how fancy it is.

After some time, another phone starts ringing. The second man starts talking seemingly into this air. When asked, he ex...

Today our fax-machine died and no one cared

Zero fax given

Why should you always trust fax machines?

Cuz they be straight up spitting fax all the time

What does the White House use when their fax machine breaks?

Alternative fax

How can you tell when a fax has been sent by a blonde?

When there's a stamp on it.

A professor of mathematics sent this fax to his wife...

"My dearest wife, you must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hote...

What is a Audit?

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road.

Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the...

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer.

They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to setup a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.'
So Satan and Jesus...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates and Elon Musk are golfing together

Out of nowhere, Bill puts one finger in his ear and points another at his mouth and starts talking. When he’s done, he explains that he has a microchip in both fingers to act as a phone. Not long after that, Elon starts talking but to seemingly no one. When he’s finished he explains that his microch...

Anti-vax

More like Anti-fax amirite

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Technological man walks into a bar

A nice looking man in his 40s walks into a bar and sits down. He orders a beer and as he’s drinking it, a phone rings and the man looks at his bare arm and taps on it and begins speaking to someone through his fingers.

The bartender waits for him to finish talking and asks “holy shit, were yo...

What do you call someone who doesn't care about printers?

No fax given.

What does the Trump administration use instead of emails?

Alternative fax.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Japanese Golfer

Was rereading Harry Potter Book 2 and got to the Japanese Golfer joke line. Googled it. Enjoy, r/Jokes.

An American, a German and a Japanese man are golfing one day and, at the 3rd hole, they hear a phone ring. The American excuses himself, puts his left thumb to his ear, his left pinky finge...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pedro is sitting in a sauna with two other men...

...when suddenly, a jingle goes off.

One of the guys make a telephone symbol with his hand, brings his hand up to his ear, then begins a conversation directly into it.

When he's finished, Pedro says, "whoa man, what was that?!"

"Ah, that's the newest technology," replied the m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts calling numbers... like a telephone... on his hand and talking in his hand.

The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very
tough neighbourhood and he doesn't need any trouble
here.

The guy says, You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I
had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular.
The bartender says 'Prove it'. ...

What's one form of communication God will never use to speak with you?

Fax

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American, a Japanese and an Indian were trying to show off how advanced their country's technology is.

The American goes first, looks at his hand and pokes it at a few places, proceeds to place it on his ear like a mobile and starts talking. After the call gets over here explains that he has a simcard embedded in his hand that let's him use it as a mobile. Everyone is impressed.
Then suddenly some...

A new doctor came into town and set up shop 4 months ago.

I’m a doctor too, so I was worried about losing any of my clientele. Sure enough, some of my regulars failed to reschedule appointments and I started getting faxed requests to send their medical records over to this new doctor.

After a few months had passed, things weren’t improving and appoi...

The Computer Nerd and His Apprentice

So, I have a story about a wise old computing nerd and his new technological apprentice. He wanted to tell his young child some core life morals, as well as teach about old technology.

The wise man first showed the kid a polaroid camera. The kid quickly took it, and snapped a photo, but was v...

In my old fashioned office the multifunction printer broke down.

No fax was given that day...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Computer idiots (Warning: Old)

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" k...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boat was shipwrecked in the South Pacific, as a result...

A group of people from different nationalities found themselves stranded on a remote and beautiful island. The party consisted of:

-Two Italian men and one Italian woman

-Two French men and one French woman

-Two German men and one German woman

-Two Greek men and one Greek...

Google announces new usage of an old tool: sending vital organs for surgery via landlines. The organ at the other end will be a working copy of the original, giving an unprecedented supply of life-saving organs to families in need.

They're calling it "The Fax of Life."

A woman was told to send a facsimile copy of their child’s medical records to a specialist when their child fell very ill.

She didn’t deliver, the child died, turns out she was anti-fax.

We had to get a new all-in-one printer, after a lot of fighting.

The old one couldn't handle the fax.

3 men use the restroom...

2 of them use the urinals and start boasting to each other.

"I have this new watch that is the latest in technology. It is inserted in my skin on my wrist and shows the time without all the bulk and hassle of wearing one!" He shows his wrist to his buddy as it shows a digital readout of the ...

Trumps first few months in office have been pretty rough.

His all-in-one printer broke down, so he's had to use some alternative fax.

Trump got angry with computers again...

Trump got angry with computers again, and ordered that White House staff are no longer allowed to use email to communicate.

Conway calmed him down and came up with a work-around. White House staff can continue using email, but in order not to anger Trump, they have to call it by a different n...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy at a bar is talking on his hand as if it were a phone....

After many beers a guy started talking on his hand as if it was a phone. The bartender notices but doesn't say anything. Guy ordered another beer, and gets another call. By now the bartender is curious and asks the guy what he is doing with his hand. Guy responds that it's a cell phone and he is a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four business men go golfing.

An American, a Canadian, a German, and a Japanese businessman go golfing. At the first hole the American is about to tee off when his cell phone rings.

"I'm so important at my job that my company requires me to bring a cell phone wherever I go," he says after hanging up. At the next hole th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly couple on a cruise . . .

An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old man overboard.

They searched for days and couldn't find him, so the Captain sent the old woman back to shore, with the promise that...

So it turns out Mike Pence used a private email server. When questioned he denied, saying he doesn't even use email.

Alternative Fax

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man sitting at a bar notices another guy taking to his hand

He was holding his hand to his face and talking into it like a cell phone. He tried to ignore it, but after a while his curiosity got the best of him and he decided to investigate.

"Hey man, what are you doing there?" he asked.

"Oh, sorry, I know this must look pretty weird, but I was ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American, Japanese and Irish businessmen are having a business lunch....

While chatting, the ego of the American and Japanese men start to get the better of them and spend most of their time boasting, much to the discomfort of the Irish man.

Suddenly a phone rings, it's the American and he takes the call by putting his watch up to his face. When he's done, he prou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American, a Japanese and a Russian scientist are chilling in the park

Suddenly, the American just starts talking about a seemingly random topic that had nothing to do with their conversation. After a few minutes, he turns towards the Japanese and the Russian and says:

'Oh sorry guys, this is the newest technology in the US. It was my wife calling me. See, I hav...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American, an Englishman, a German and a Japanese go golfing on their annual meetup...

As they are playing, they hear a ringing sound. The American rushes to his golf bag and pulls out a mobile phone. He answers the phone and when the conversation is done, he explains to his friends, "My company needs to be in touch with me all the time, so I carry this fancy phone around with me." Th...

I wanted to send over an invoice to the Westboro Baptist Church using an old-fashioned method of communication, but they told me...

God hates fax.

What Does Kellyanne Conway Call Her Computer's Scanner?

Alternative Fax.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The future of technology (long)

Bill Gates, Andy Grove, and Jerry Sanders (Heads of Microsoft, Intel, and Advanced Micro Devices) were in a high-powered business meeting. During the serious, tense discussion, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Jerry is sitting. Jerry says, "Oh, that's my beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I...

Three guys in a jacuzzi

Here's a little joke I know. Tell it freely.

Three guys, in a jacuzzi. First guy starts ringing; *brinnng brinnggg* "oh excuse me, that's my built in phone, I'll be right back" - He gets up and wanders away talking directly into his right hand.

Second fella, a while later, beeps a few ...

After getting in the White House, D.Trump gets a letter....

... from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:


370HSSV 0773H


All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets ang...

I asked Kellyanne Conway for her email

And she said "oh you mean my alternative fax?"

Three business guys are golfing

and in the middle of discussing their various white collar crimes, they hear a cell phone ringing.

The first guy puts his hand up to head and starts talking into it. He explains that he has a mic and antenna built into his hand for a cellphone because he's just that rich.

They hear ano...

When I get a lot of Myspace requests

my fax machine goes crazy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chinese , an american, and a belgian sit in a pool.

All of a sudden they hear a ringtone and the american starts talking in the palm of his hand. ''I have a build in telephone chip in my hand, so we Americans don't even need phones anymore!"

A few minutes later they hear another ringtone, only this time it is the Chinese man who starts talking...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A German guy, an Italian guy, and a Chinese guy are playing golf...

Around the 5th hole, this strange ringing goes off and the German guy starts speaking into his hand. The Italian guy and the Chinese guy are both wondering, "what the f*ck is this guy doing?"

The German guy explains, "It's totally awesome! My government made a phone that fits inside of your h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Technology Man

A man walks into a bar holding up his forearm to the side of his face carrying on a business conversation. The bartender watches the man continue his conversation for a good 30 minutes before removing his forearm from his face and pushing his forearm with his thumb. The bartender, believing this man...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A German, a Texan, and a Japanese man are all relaxing in a sauna, completely naked

They sit in silence, until a loud beep is heard. The German steps out of the sauna and returns a few moments later.

"What was that?" the Texan asks.

"I have had a beeper installed in my arm. We Germans are a very advanced country, you know."
The Texan smiles and nods. A few minutes...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. When the bartender brings him the drink he puts his hand to his head as if he's answering a pretend-phone. The man says "Hello? Yeah, okay. No problem," and puts his hand back down.

The bartender says "What the hell was that?"

The m...

Long Lost Twins

There's this story on CNN running about these two long lost twins that found each other on Google!

Did ya hear about it?

The one guy down in Mexico, I think, was doing that family tree thing and found out that he had a twin, Ehmal, was taken as a baby with his mother back to the midd...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.