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What is the only animal that has their asshole located on their back?

A police horse.

What do you call a small, Muslim house of worship located in Mexico?

A mosquito.

Where are the Super Duper Missile Project offices located?

Right next door to the The Ministry of Silly Walks of course.

The best tailor shop is located on Mt. Everest

It's a cut above the rest.

Why is it that a watch is located on your wrist and not your belt?

Because if it was on your belt, it would be a waist of time

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This is an old joke my cousin told me. It never fails to make me smile :-)

One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."

His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Just put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagno...

TIL that the most fertile land for growing tea

Is located in Chai land

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I heard they were making a new Power Rangers show, so I checked it out.

Since the producers wanted to show to be more fluid to all people, they decided to bring in new rangers. They had all the usual colored rangers, but then they started to add a few more as the show went on.


There were three new rangers that had different disabilities. One was colored ora...

My uncle got a severe allergic reaction while staying in a remotely located hotel near Barcelona...

he would have died certainly as there were no hospitals close by. Suddenly we heard someone knocking on the hotel's door. Miraculously it was the hotel's in-house doctor.

We were quite amused by how the doctor showed up at the exact time he was needed.

Nobody expected the Spanish...

You ever heard of the ocean located at 5.694647° S, 136.987557° W?

I like to call it the specific ocean.

Where was king Solomon's temple located?

On his head.

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Chilean joke:

Ok so I don't know if this is known in other parts but the joke goes like this:
A family decided to spent a vacation on a resort located in a jungle, everyone came even their dog.
When they leave their plane has an emergency and fell, everyone does except for the dog, who know is lost and begi...

Four best friends graduate from college and promise to meet up with each other once every 10 years despite taking different paths in lives.

Four best friends graduate from college and promise to meet up with each other once every 10 years despite taking different paths in lives.

When they're all 35 years old, they discuss where they should meet up. One friend suggests they should go to the cabin located at the outskirts of a smal...

Police are reporting that they have just located a truck of stollen goods

Though they are not hopeful that anyone will come forward to claim the German fruitcake.

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A Hunter's Resilience

Two deer hunters had decided to go hunting on opening day of the season. They had left in the afternoon because both had day jobs and could not get time off.

About halfway to their turn-off they see a sign that reads, "Aunt Gracy's Diner, Next Exit". They were ahead of schedule, so both agree...

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Jack is a cowboy working on a large ranch in a remote pasture in Wyoming.

One day as he’s overseeing the livestock on the ranch a brand-new 7 Series BMW suddenly advances towards him creating an enormous cloud of dust in the process

The car stops and the driver is a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and YSL tie. He steps out of the car and...

Why are all the world's best mathematicians located in Brooklyn.

Because Nobody does Pie like New York.

I am buying my coffin from a company located in Ireland.

I wonder if they accept crypt o'currency?

Where are graveyards located?

In the dead center of town.

Why are there fences around them?
Because everyone is just dying to get in.

An English lady, while vacationing in Switzerland, fell in love with a small town and the surrounding countryside.

She asked the pastor of a local church if he knew of any houses with rooms to rent that were close to town, but out in the country. The pastor kindly drove her out to see a house with a room to rent. She loved the house and decided to rent the room. Then, the lady returned to her home in England to ...

The Dyslexia Research Trust in UK is located in a town called

Reading

Where is the bathroom for I.T people located?

At the I pee address.

The zookeeper said he'd tell me where the bathroom is located if I can say the alphabet.

"A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z"

He asks: "where's the D?"

"It's out for Harambe"

Where's the brain located?

A reporter conducts a series of interviews on three teenagers to determine how intelligent the youth of today is. He starts his first interview. "Can you locate your brain?" The teenager points at his elbow and says "Here." The reporter says "Wrong!' and dismisses him.

He starts his second in...

Where is Macau located?

In MaFarm

A missing Chinese pyromaniac has been located hiding out at a Roman Catholic monastery.

He was found praying with friars.

Why is the men's room always located to the left?

Because women are always right.

My favorite Finnish joke

Pekka is at a party in a tall building in the great city of Helsinki, which is quite different from the small timber cabin in the forest he is used to as a lumberjack. Pekka is enjoying the party, but after a few bottles of the moonshine he brought, Pekka finds himself in the need of a toilet. He as...

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A lost cat

FOUND A STARVING, DIRTY, SMELLY, SKINNY, AND MATTED KITTY...

Hubby and I felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.' The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could c...

A bakery owner hired a young female shop assistant

A bakery owner hired a young female shop assistant who liked to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the shop assistant and at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing her short skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brillia...

Lucky #7

A guy wakes up on July 7th at 7am and hops on the #7 train get to his first day of work. He realizes that his office is located on 7th avenue and that the building number is 77. He counts all the money he has in his pocket and turns out that he has exactly 777$. It must be a sign. He heads to the ra...

What is a letter that is always cold?

B

Because its located between AC

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An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery....

But prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store some blood in case a need arose.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out.

Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for th...

What's white, located in washington and has a president within it?

Monica Lewinsky's teeth.

I made a (hopefully) original joke!

In 2019, the army had been at war with another country. In order to keep their troops healthy, they needed to monitor the submarine that carried supplies to where the others were located.

But there was a small problem. Every so often, there would be a defect in the submarine's engine that wou...

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