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Located Jokes

Why are the pyramids located in Egypt?

They were too big to transport to England.

Scientists finally located the gene that causes shyness

It was hiding behind two other genes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is the vagina located so close to the anus?

Because it was designed by city council. Who else would put a play area so close to a dumping ground?

What kind of neighborhood was Monty Python’s Ministry of Silly Walks located in?

A gaited community.

why are pyramids located in egypt?

they were too heavy for british people to steal and put in british museums

Where is the HQ of Dracula located?

Vampire state building

What do you call a small, Muslim house of worship located in Mexico?

A mosquito.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the only animal that has their asshole located on their back?

A police horse.

I don’t care where states are located

If Oklahoma was right next to Maine that would be ok by me.

You ever heard of the ocean located at 5.694647° S, 136.987557° W?

I like to call it the specific ocean.

Where was king Solomon's temple located?

On his head.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are wonka's a good name for testicles?

Because they're located in between a Willy and a chocolate factory

Where is Macau located?

In MaFarm

Where's the brain located?

A reporter conducts a series of interviews on three teenagers to determine how intelligent the youth of today is. He starts his first interview. "Can you locate your brain?" The teenager points at his elbow and says "Here." The reporter says "Wrong!' and dismisses him.

He starts his second in...

My uncle got a severe allergic reaction while staying in a remotely located hotel near Barcelona...

he would have died certainly as there were no hospitals close by. Suddenly we heard someone knocking on the hotel's door. Miraculously it was the hotel's in-house doctor.

We were quite amused by how the doctor showed up at the exact time he was needed.

Nobody expected the Spanish...

Why are all the world's best mathematicians located in Brooklyn.

Because Nobody does Pie like New York.

Where is the bathroom for I.T people located?

At the I pee address.

I am buying my coffin from a company located in Ireland.

I wonder if they accept crypt o'currency?

Police are reporting that they have just located a truck of stollen goods

Though they are not hopeful that anyone will come forward to claim the German fruitcake.

I tried to invent the first watch that was located on your belt buckle

It was a waist of time

Quantum entanglement is not hard to understand:

Socks come in pairs. If you put a sock on your left foot, the other sock of the pair instantly becomes the “right sock,” no matter where it is located in the universe.

Shoulder came out of my socket while locating for a lost blunt...

Call that a Dislocated joint

Did you hear about the delivery driver for the local bakery that had 6 extra eyes located all around his head?

He's seen some weird things man but this guy takes the cake.

Why is the men's room always located to the left?

Because women are always right.

A bakery owner hired a young female shop assistant

A bakery owner hired a young female shop assistant who liked to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the shop assistant and at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing her short skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brillia...

A missing Chinese pyromaniac has been located hiding out at a Roman Catholic monastery.

He was found praying with friars.

The zookeeper said he'd tell me where the bathroom is located if I can say the alphabet.

"A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z"

He asks: "where's the D?"

"It's out for Harambe"

One day, Pete complained to his friend, “My head really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor.”

His friend said, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply tell it the problem, put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose it and tell you what you can do about the issue you’re having. It only costs $...

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Scottish blood

An Arab Sheik was admitted to the hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to have some of his blood type stored in case the need arose. As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood that couldn't be found locally, the call went out around the world.

...

Well away from the muffins...

My aunt Sara is someone who has an excellent sense of humor. In a nutshell, my aunt is a lady in her sixties who uses the fact that she loves cakes and is overweight... to make fun of herself. One of the most delightful conversations i had with her was when i met her at the bus stop one day and she ...

Ending It All

A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart.

Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the ex...

Malicious compliance that isn't.

The following is a true story.

When I was young, I wanted a glass of orange juice. I was used to the stuff with the pulp in it. Going to the kitchen where my mother was already located, I got a glass, pulled out the carton of OJ, screwed off the top, lifted the carton, filled my glass, put th...

So my girlfriend got a new tattoo......

Of a seashell located on her inner thigh, and the best part is if you place your ear next to it you can smell the ocean.

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