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Relocate Jokes

Why is the deep south US the safest place to relocate during the zombie apocalypse?

Toothless zombies can't bite.

Why did the potter relocate in the middle of the night?

Because he didn't want to have a public bowl movement!

Today my company relocated me to their Spain office.

But it’s ok, because nobody expects the Spanish acquisition.

I was instructed to relocate all these boxes of letterhead. But I can't...

They're stationary.

Shoutout to the ex-mobster who, through witness protection, was relocated in a house under the sea.

Rest easy, you’re sleeping with the fishes now.

True Story

Yesterday would have been my stepfather Tom's 75th birthday. To commemorate the occasion, I give you this story.

Back in 2006, I was prepping to relocate from Nebraska back to Southern California, and this meant lots of phone calls between me and my mother. One Friday evening, I called her up...

I think the Area 51 raid is just stupid.

How do we not know the government won't just relocate them aliens before the 20th?

A blonde is on her way to Michigan...(Medium joke)

The flight attendant notices her sitting in first class sit, to which she doesn't belong. She asks the blonde to please move to her seat in economy. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I deserve to sit where I want!"
The flight attendent goes to the co pilot and asks him to reloca...

Times are tough

*I heard this at work from an older coworker. Also our factory is being relocated so it fits perfectly*

A few employees gather around a smoke pit discussing their current predicament of their place of employment shutting down. One of them hesitantly admits how they have been able to scrounge...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tribute to the holiday season

Up until a few years ago, I would frequent a local chess club for shits and giggles. I wasn't very good at chess, but most of the people there were very into the game, knew all of the big names, went to a lot of big events, and some of them even got prize money from time to time.

Shortly befo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Guys Die and Get to go to Heaven (long)

So they're waiting for God to get to and judge/reward them. God finishes with others and gets to them. Standing before them, he says, "Alright. You three get to go to heaven. Here's what's gonna happen. You think carefully and tell me what you would really love for the rest of eternity. I will set a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little story of a boy and his dog

Timmy's best friend was his dog. His dog was his only friend when his dad got a new job and they had to relocate. His dog was there to scare away the bullies when he was an awkward kid in school. Timmy's dog was even there as a shoulder to cry on when Timmy had his first broken heart. They grew fro...

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