UPJOKE
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Lightyear Jokes

Yes, Buzz Lightyear could kill all the other toys

But Woody?

What did Woody say to Buzz Lightyear?

A lot of stuff, there's 4 whole movies plus some short films.

What did the dog say to Woody after accidentally swallowing Buzz Lightyear?

You got a friend in me.

Why was Buzz Lightyear at the Lexus dealership?

To go beyond Infiniti

Have you seen the new Buzz Lightyear puzzle?

"I am Buzz Lightyear, I come in pieces!"

What would you call Buzz Lightyear if he was an alcoholic?

Buzzed Allyear

The scale in the bathroom is nicknamed Buzz Lightyear.

When I step on it goes to infinity and beyond.

What do Buzz Lightyear and Bees have in common?

They both can fly.

What?

You thought I was going to make a pun? I'm not that shallow.

Now buzz off.

If you laid every atom in the sun end to end, it would be roughly 3.0818632e+23 times the width of the universe, or roughly 1.1701458e+43 lightyears.

That’s almost as wide as your mother.

How long does it take someone who doesn't understand astronomical measurements to change a lightbulb?

A lightyear

Yo mama's so fat

that buzz lightyear says, "To infinity and your mom!"

What makes a loud noise when it flies 9.46x10^12 km annually?

Buzz lightyear

A man was recruited for a space colony

He had been posted to a planet 14 lightyears from Sol. As his ship landed on the planet's glowing surface, he saw a car waiting for him.

"Welcome to Anti-Earth," The driver said, "don't worry we are going to change the name soon. I am here to take you to your quarters and show you the colony ...

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