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Laziest Jokes

Who is the laziest person in a Chinese restaurant?

Susan

The Laziest Man

There was a very very lazy man in a village. He was so lazy he didn't do anything for himself.

It got so bad that the men of the village decided it would be best to just bury him cuz he was just so lazy and useless.

So they came to his house, grabbed him and carried him away to be buri...

The laziest person award

There was an award ceremony for the laziest person in the world. Many lazy people came to the award show but nobody among them was awarded. Turns out the laziest person was too lazy to attend the award show.


So they went to the laziest persons house to give him the award in person. He wa...

I'm the laziest baker ever, so I was actually happy when someone stole my sourdough.

Whoever it was, I'm sure they knead it more than I did.

What did the laziest man in the world win?

Atrophy.

What is the laziest number

12 cuz it dozen do anything

Want to know the easiest and laziest way to write subtitles?

\[inaudible\]

Who is the laziest person in class?

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?　

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other...

Of all the racial slurs, "chinaman" has to be the laziest.

A black guy probably came up with it...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Full time car thieves are the absolute laziest people

What do they do all day? Jack shit.

Snooker players are the laziest sportspeople in the world ...

... constantly need rests.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever.

I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the “Like” button.

Laziest Of All

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change.

“I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he
announced. “Will the laziest man please put his hand up?”
Nine hands went up.
“Why didn’t ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men are sitting in the pub discussing who has the laziest son...

"My son...", says the first "... is so lazy, that when I sent him three minutes down road to the chip shop to get a couple bags of fish and chips with a twenty pound note and told him he could keep the change- the lazy bugger still wouldn't go."
"That's nothing..." says the second, "...I got in l...

Why did the laziest person at the factory keep a cucumber in their pocket?

They wanted everyone to think they were working hard.

A sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said: "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest."

24 men raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the remaining man, "Why didn't you raise your hand?"



The man replied, "Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge."

Three cats discuss which one of them is the laziest...

First cat starts, “I can’t eat food unless my owner chews the food for me and puts it in front of me.”

Second cat responds with a smug smile,
“Hah, that is nothing! My owner has to chew my food then put it in my mouth and even then I don’t swallow the food. He cries and begs in front of m...

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There is a new teacher in a school, and she is sent to the worst class with the laziest and the most spoiled kids.

The new teacher starts introducing herself to the first-graders, asking some questions to them, hoping to get them to like her.

She decided to start the lesson in a fun way to get the children's attention. So she starts drawing some pictures on the whiteboard and asks the children what has s...

There were once a man that was claimed to be the laziest man on earth

Nobody had seen him ever do anything but lay on his bed and breath. That's it.

On one day the people from the city where he lived wanted to know if he was actually the laziest person on earth. So they created a contest where the laziest person won a lot of money.

People from the whole ...

What's the name of the laziest doctor in town?

Dr. Dolittle

My granddad used to say "Pick a card, any card."

He was the laziest employee Hallmark ever had…

I think that laziest animals must be the animals in the seas.

There is Sawshark, Hammerheadshark, Electric eel. Still not a single one house completed.

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An old Jew is on his deathbed. He gathered his three sons and says to them:

\- My children, I have always appreciated the ability to rest, and I will give my inheritance to the laziest of you. My eldest son, come to me.

\- Yes, dad.

\- If you were walking down the street and saw a wad of $100 bills, what would you do?

\- I would walk past them.

\...

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It could be worst...

The father is mad at his son:

- The teacher said you're the worst, laziest, stupidest student in your 20 people class.

- It could he worst - the son replied.

- Worst how?

- It could have been a 40 people class.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 Lazy Cats

So on one summer day 3 neighborhood cats gather in the alley to determine who's the laziest among them all. This first proudly begins speaking, "Well the other day my old man poured a whole bowl of milk for me. Stuck my face in there and all there was left for me to do is stick my tongue out... But ...

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