What do you call a rude cactus?

A prick

I’m deeply sorry

I think it is time to reconsider calling people 'Karen'. It is rude...

We can all be Karen's in our own ways. I just realized I'm a computer Karen.



Every time something is taking too long, or the slightest inconvenience happens, I immediately want to see the task manager.



\*sorry\*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call rude poultry?

Jerk chicken

What do you call a rude old person who won't leave you alone?

A boomer-ang.

Rudeness vs Kindness

Rudeness vs Kindness

I was in the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me honked and yelled at me; very upset because maybe I was taking too long to pay.

Wow. “Take the high road,” I thought to myself. So I paid for her food.

As I moved up and she le...

I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.

The look on his face was priceless.

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later.”

The nun agreed…

A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?”

The nun replied, “He went that way.”

After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough, sister. You see, I don’t want ...

Did you hear the NPR segment about how it’s rude to ask how heavy people are?

“Weight? Weight!? Don’t tell me!”

I work in McDonald’s and a customer was rude to me today, so I got him back by not putting any Coke in his drink.

*Just ice* was served.

A cannibal rudely came late to dinner

So they gave him the cold shoulder.

Rude on many levels

I was a receptionist at a hotel, and the phone started ringing. I could see by the screen that it was the extension for the elevator's phone. I picked it up, and a voice I recognize as a particularly rude and troublesome guest, immediately starts yelling: "What the (beep) do I press to get out of th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a rude, undemocratic leader?

A Dicktator

Boston people are so rude.

I see this guy searching under his Prius, and I ask him how I can help.

He tells me hes looking for his shorts, and then flips out when I point out he is wearing them.

Its not my fault the idiot told me he lost his khakis.

After the lab accident, Tommy became really rude to people around him.

His friends said that he became a much more toxic person.

A‌‌n America‌‌n soldier‌‌, servin‌‌g i‌‌n Worl‌‌d Wa‌‌r I‌‌I ha‌‌d jus‌‌t returne‌‌d fro‌‌m severa‌‌l week‌‌s o‌‌f battl‌‌e o‌‌n th‌‌e Germa‌‌n fron‌‌t lines.

Th‌‌e soldie‌‌r ha‌‌d bee‌‌n grante‌‌d res‌‌t an‌‌d relaxatio‌‌n an‌‌d wa‌‌s o‌‌n ‌‌a trai‌‌n tha‌‌t wa‌‌s boun‌‌d fo‌‌r London.

Th‌‌e trai‌‌n wa‌‌s ver‌‌y crowded‌‌, s‌‌o th‌‌e soldie‌‌r walke‌‌d th‌‌e lengt‌‌h o‌‌f th‌‌e trai‌‌n i‌‌n hope‌‌s o‌‌f findin‌‌g a‌‌n empt‌‌y seat.

Th‌‌e on...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife yelled: i dont understand you,one minute you are rude to me,next minute you are nice

I said: bitch please

People never talk about the 12th reindeer, probably because she's so rude to Rudolph

Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.

The driver says, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." Stunned, the woman sits down and complains to the man next to her. "I can't believe that rude driver! He was so insulting to me! I have half I mind to tell him off!" The man replies, "You should. Let him have it. Here, I'll hold your monkey ...

people always tell me how rude they think it is when people play loud music in public so I was really surprised when people got mad at me for putting a stop to it.

They always tell things like, "Get off the stage!" and "I paid good money for these tickets!"

A man walks into a bar and sits next to a guy with a very small head

After having a couple drinks the man asks the other guy, "hey, I don't mean to be rude, but how is it you have such a small head?"

The guy replies, "well it's a bitter sweet story. You see when I was in the war my plane got shot down in the Pacific. I parachuted out and ended up on a deserted...

4 beer company CEOs walk into a bar

The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud Light.

The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Light.

The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light.

The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke.

The first three ask the CEO of Guinness why he didn't order a Guinness, to which he replied:

"I figured if yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Caribbean hens are so rude

Damn jerk chickens

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a rude black hole?

A masshole.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) A man walks into a pub and sits down at the bar...

The female bartender asks him if he would like a drink, in which he replys:

"I would love to suck on your breasts"

"Excuse me?" The bartender said.

"I want to spank your ass" the man said rudely.

"Im going to get my husband if you dont stop!" The bartender said.

"A...

People are always so rude to me when they greet me.

They're always like "who are you" and "how did you get in my house?"

It's so annoying.

I don't mean to be rude, but the SuperBowl was boring.

No offense.

What do you call a rude and isolated bacteria?

Uncultured.

I used to view smokers as rude due to the harmful effects of secondhand smoke.

Now that assisted-suicide is legal, I view them as polite.

I introduced my friend to my daughter Beth

He asked me, what’s Beth short for?
I thought it was really rude, she’s only three

For her birthday, I got my wife an alarm clock that swears at her instead of beeping.

She’s in for a rude awakening.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rude people are like dicks

They pop up for no reason, and they all need a good pounding.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a rude German?

A Deutsche-bag!

I bet you did Nazi that coming :)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly woman told me "You get more flies with honey than with vinegar.", Because I was being a little too rude...

I told her "You get more flies with shit than with honey, so go fuck yourself."

I was late to a comedy show and the guy on stage said why are you late that's rude

I told him sorry it's because my wife is pregnant

He then asked How long till the baby is due

I said about 9 months

She told me I was being rude for kink-shaming her...

All I said was, "Karen, stop yelling at the customer service rep."

My sisters so rude...

Yesterday I was just minding my own business and she asks me
"Hey can you tell me what a lake in a desert is?"

Startled, I ignored her question and quickly said
"Oh hey sis!"

And then she just said thanks and left. I can't believe some girls.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some people are so rude! When i went to London i had to go see a phlebotomist

But he turned out to be a bloody bastard!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A soldier heading home from the frontlines gets on a train

The soldier walks the length of the crowded train searching for a seat. He stops by a rich woman who has her dog sitting next to her.

The soldier speaks in a calm , tired voice, "Ma'am, can you move your dog so I can sit down?"


Offended and speaking in a high and mighty tone of vo...

What's with all of the rude Stephen Hawking jokes??

The man can't even stand up for himself..

An irate lady approached me today at the hospital

I had just finished taking care of one of my patients and had moved to the next patient, when this lady ran up to me.

“How dare you give my son a shot?!” she exclaimed, gesturing rudely at me.

“Uhhh...” I said, confused. “Well I asked your son if there was anything I could get him for ...

Why are teachers so rude during summer vacation?

Because they have no class

A girl in work was a bit rude earlier, she said I look like I'd be boring in bed.

So I told her she should ask her sister ;).

"Haha, I haven't got a sister" she proclaims.

"I know" I said, "you will in 9 months".

My doctor is very rude.

I went in with some legitimate concerns about my prostate and he just gave me the finger!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an extremely rude potato?

A dick tater.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've been seeing my neighbour for the past few months, right up till she started to be extremely rude.

I mean who the fuck closes their blinds when they sleep.

Adam meets a witch

The witch tells him: "Tell me I am pretty or you will be cursed"!

Adam: "Sorry, but I don't find you attractive."

Witch: "Take that back, or you most surely *will* be cursed!

Adam: "Nope. You're hideous."

The witch then transformed him into an ant.

Witch: "Look whe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I understand that the doctor needs to feel my wife's boobs

But at the dinner table, it's just rude

How many unnecessarily rude people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

NO, SCREW YOU!!

Kermit the Frog has been really rude ever since Jim Henson’s death.

He doesn’t talk to anyone.

Why are single German women so rude?

Cuz they don't have any Männer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Happiness is someone laughing at a rude word.

"Ha Penis"

A teacher was trying to teach his students good manners.

He asked Michael:

If you took a girl on a date to a restaurant, how would you say that you have to go to the bathroom?

Wait a minute, I gotta pee, Michael replied.

That would be very rude and inappropriate. How would you ask, Chris?

I'm sorry, but I have to really go to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If someone offers you drugs, don't just say "no"...

... say "no thank you." Rude motherfucker.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a very rude parrot who stood at a barber's door. Every time Jane went by he'd say "Yo, bitch!"

Tired of this, Jane went to the barber and complained. As a punishment, the barber painted the parrot completely in black.

Two days after, Jane went again by the barber's door and the parrot didn't say anything. On the next day she went by twice and again, the parrot didn't say anything.
<...

People are so rude when they suffer from kidney failure

It's like they have no filter

A king sends a scout to the northern part of his territory.

The scout returns and rushes to the King to deliver his report.
"Your Grace, the northerners are revolting!"


The King replies, "I do know that they don't take a bath that often, but isn't it a bit too rude to call them that?"

Just last week I saw a friend of mine and his wife at the local restaurant. He is 47 and his wife is 19. Other diners were making rude comments about them, giving them dirty looks.

It totally ruined their 7th wedding anniversary dinner.

I've been saving up....

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners,
asked her students the following question: 'Michael, if you were on a
date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that
you have to go to the bathroom?' Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to
go...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People nowadays are so rude

Last time I got on a plane everybody went batshit crazy for no reason, screaming and running around the place.

I mean, I was just saying "Hi" to my friend Jack.

So damn rude.

Three triplets in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up.

The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here."

The second one says, "I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here."

The third one says, "I wanna be a boxe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with a lisp went on a blind date to a heavy metal concert

Paul had been ridiculed all his life for having a lisp. As a kid, he was bullied in school. As an adult, he caught coworkers making fun of him when they thought he couldn't hear. He would even notice cashiers trying to stifle their laughter. No woman would ever go out with him, and he felt resigned ...

Dirty Limerick Competition

Every year in this small village there used to be a dirty limerick competition and the same guy used to win competition every year. Last year he sent in his most disgusting flithy limerick ever and was stunned to find out he'd only come second. As the limericks were never published, the editor could...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I never tip the cute pizza delivery drivers and always complain that they're rude, even when they're nice...

That way, I know I'm fucking them.

My wife waved her hands at me and said: Hey! Have you been listening?

I told her that this is a rude way to start a conversation

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The rude professor.

A biology professor in Italy was giving an anatomy class. "The largest penis was discovered in an archeological finding in rome". Two or three offended female students get up to leave. The professor says "hey girls" The female students turn around in a egotistical manner expecting an apology. The p...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That's actually rude..

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said: "Well it's what Mommy calls me sometimes." The little girl screamed to her brother: "Don't eat it. I...

Hannibal Lector crashed my dinner party and rudely demanded that I feed him!

I gave him a piece of my mind.

What does a rude Frenchman and a ruthless Englishman have in common?

No Merci.

What do you call a rude convict going downstairs?

A condescending con descending.

It’s so rude to insult someone in Braille.

Just think about how it makes them feel.

My butcher is very rude

I asked him for a cut of pork and he gave me the cold shoulder

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Civil Engineer: Lets build a bridge!

Rude Engineer: Fuck you!

I've heard it's rude to interrupt someone when they're talking, so...

I haven't spoken to my wife in 20 years!

What do you call rude bus drivers?

Bustards

My friend with amnesia asked me why people didn't like him

I told him that he was always rude to people that were just trying to help, to which he responded:


"I don't remember asking."

What's the pinnacle of rudeness?

Hitting a blind man in the face and saying: you didn't see that coming.

I Recently I received a parrot as a gift.

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

I tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else I could think of to "clea...

A girl buys a Parrot at a pet store

...unfortunately for her, the parrot is rude and foul mouthed. She tries everything to get the parrot to be more polite, but to no avail. One day, the girl has had enough and slams the parrot in the freezer, locking the door. Later, she hears frantic knocking and, feeling bad, decides to open the do...

I met a rude Australian once

I asked him if he knew of a furniture store nearby. He said "Does it look like ikea?"

There was an uber driver

He picked up an elderly woman. It was an average trip, 30 minutes. They were having a pleasant conversation when she offered him a peanut. Quite shocked, he took it, ate it and thanked her. Moments later she offered another, and another and he kept eating them.
After a while he began to wonder wh...

Is it rude to go up to someone with an eyepatch and say

"Was it all fun and games up until that point?"

My dad’s sister, Artica, has been very rude to everyone ever since her husband left her

It’s gotten to the point we’re we’ve had to preface every meeting with:

“Careful, Aunt Artica is very cold”

What job are rude epileptics well suited for?

Salt shakers.

I got a rude awakening this morning.

My swear jar fell on my head.

I tried to get an overseas job with a large Christian church and they were very rude to me.

A lady answered the phone and I said " I am interested in a missionary position can you help me?" . She called me pervert and hung up!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the high school dropout always so rude to people?

Because he didn’t have any class.

A middle-aged teacher named Mrs. Jackson saw one of her first grade boys making rude faces at the preschoolers on the playground

She said "You know, Liam, when I was a little girl I was told that if I made ugly faces it might freeze and stay like that."
Liam replied "Well sorry Mrs. Jackson, but you can't say you weren't warned.

I have a Taiwanese friend who is is incredibly rude and bossy

He has a strong Taipei personality

Why are dwarfs so rude?

Because they weren't raised well as a child.

Someone made a rude comment towards me for breast feeding in public recently.

But what am I supposed to do? A mans got to eat.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a man who played the piano in a restaurant every weekend.

There once was a man who played the piano in a restaurant every weekend. All his songs had no words but they all had names that were extremely rude. The restaurant manager found out their names but told him not to tell them to anyone because he was a very good piano player.

One night he was p...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my coworker, why the long face?

She told me to mind my own business.

That horseface bitch is rude.

My late Grandpa's favorite joke..

A man is driving down a long, country road and comes across an area that opens up into fields.

He pulls over at the first driveway he sees to stretch his legs and sees a farmer leaning against a fence post. The farmer is staring off into the field and is watching two children running around a...

Why do I find broken clocks rude?

Because they won't give me the time of day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rude parrot on an airliner

A man gets on a plane and takes his seat, only to realise that the occupant of the seat next to him is a parrot. The plane takes off and after some minutes a stewardess approaches.

"Can I get you anything, sir?" she asks the man".

"Yes, I'll have a coffee, please, when you have a minut...

A hamburger walks into a bar and orders French fries.

Bartender replies rudely "We don't serve food here".

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.