Netflix is launching in Russia, but with a very limited catalogue.

They're calling it Nyetflix.

Did you hear the one about Jerry Lewis launching a line of clothes for frat boys?

He became a nutty 'bro dresser'

Facebook's launching its own cryptocurrency next year called Libra...

missed opportunity to call it zuck buck

Hummer is launching an EV,

Iron-E..

Hooters is launching a new delivery service.

They're calling it 'knockers'.

Canada just announced that they are launching their first manned space shuttle next year.

They are calling it the Apollo-G.

We are launching a Food App that will help you lose your weight

You'll order but we won't deliver.

Amazon is launching a new personal assistant for people suffering from depression.

They are calling it Alexa Pro.

To celebrate Shakespeare's birthday this year, McDonalds are launching a new burger...

...called the McBeth.

I'm launching a pirating website.

It has two games: a treasure hunting game called "X Marrrrrrks the Spot" and a naval warfare game called "Take No Prisonerrrrrrs." It also has lots of free movies you can download and watch.

All the movies have 3.14 stars.

Did you hear about the manned rocket that crashed shortly after launching from Alabama?

All the system warnings went off, but for some reason the pilot could not abort.

What did fruit loops say when launching their product to compete with cheerios?

Toucan play at that game

So SpaceX is launching the Falcon Heavy Today...

Too bad it isn't carrying the stock market.

Nice to see America keeping its tradition

Of launching a coup in a third world country.

What did Rudolph the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine?

This will sleigh you.

A guy and his girlfriend are in a sportscar...

...the guy is doing daredevil stunts to impress her.
She turns to him, and says, "If you can go over 150 mph, I'll take off all of my clothes."
The guy obliges, and the car speeds down the road at 175mph, so the girlfriend tears all of her clothes off.

The guy loses control of the car...

TLC launching new spin-off Josh Duggar retrospective series....

"15 and Mounting".

February 29th, 2020

On February 29th of this year, something extraordinary happened.

I was walking across the road, head down, minding my own - when I heard it. This incessant, mechanical noise. Like spring-loaded footsteps. Real slow.

Far away, it came. Cascading against the city walls. A pneumatic sigh....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An out of work pianist with Tourette's Syndrome was strolling around the streets and bars of Soho one sunny afternoon....

An out of work pianist with Tourette's Syndrome was strolling around the streets and bars of Soho one sunny afternoon.

Walking down Dean Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window: 'Pianist wanted for evening performances'.

"Fucking get in there you cunt!" he says to himself...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What Scientology and Trump have in common?

Both of them were very successfull launching a cult by talking crazy shit about aliens

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