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Kangaroos Jokes

In what year were kangaroos discovered?

A leap year

A kangaroo walks into a bar

A kangaroo walks into a bar and orders a beer. He pays with a twenty and the bartender figures, "What does a kangaroo know about money?" gives him a single in change.

Then his curiosity gets the better of him. "You know," he says to the kangaroo, "we don't get a lot of kangaroos in this pla...

[long] A kangaroo walks into a bar...

and says to the bartender, "gimme a beer." The bartender is stunned at the sight of a talking kangaroo and doesn't move. The kangaroo misinterprets this and says "I have money" while putting a $20 on the bar.

The bartender snaps to his senses and serves a beer. He takes the $20, then goes ...

Two momma kangaroos were talking.

ROO # 1 : "Oh, you look so good in that outfit."

ROO # 2 : "Thanks! It even has a pocket!"

3 kangaroos walk into a bar

"Why in the world are there 3 kangaroos in the bar" says the bar tender

The kangaroos then wreak havoc on the bar as they are wild animals and belong outdoors where they can do wild animal things.

Why were a bunch of kangaroos arrested?

Because they were involved in gangaroo activity.

Did you know that kangaroos can jump higher than houses

This is due to the fact that kangaroos have very strong hind legs, and the fact that houses can't jump.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a kangaroo walks into a bar while on vacation...

A kangaroo walks into a bar while on vacation.

Bartender:Don't see to many kangaroos in here, what can I get ya?
Kangaroo: I'm not feeling myself, want something that takes me back to my roots.

The bartender pours a beer and gives it to the kangaroo. The kangaroo drinks it.

K...

Did you know; you can fit 35 bananas in a kangaroos pouch

Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wedding night (slightly offensive to kangaroos)

An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never been (sexually) with another woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides make a profile on a dating site.

She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entir...

Why do mother kangaroos hate it when it rains?

Because the kids have to play inside

What music to kangaroos like??

Hip hop!!!!

Did you hear about the beer made entirely out of rabbits, frogs and kangaroos?

It’s mostly hops.

People are like kangaroos

They die when they get shot

Why are Kangaroos only qualified to be teachers?

Because they're Kangurus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when four kangaroos have sex?

A kangbang

A kangaroo enters a bar in the middle of the outback

Everyone stares at him awkwardly, wondering how an animal could be lost to the point of entering a human home. The kangaroo jumps up to the bar and says :

"Hey, gimme a pint of beer."

The owner, confused by this sight, points at the beer taps :

"Er, which one ?"

"Gimme an...

Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?

Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!

A kangaroo walks into a bar

A kangaroo goes into a bar and orders a martini. This totally amazes the bartender, but he thinks, "What the heck, I guess I might as well make the drink." So he mixes the martini. He then walks back over to the give it to the kangaroo, and the animal is holding out a twenty-dollar bill. Well, now t...

I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..

Talk about short arms long pockets...

A kangaroo at the zoo kept getting out of his enclosure every night.

Knowing that mature kangaroos could hop very high, the zoo officials replaced the eight-foot fence with a ten-foot fence.

He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo.

They tore down the ten-foot fence and put up a fifteen-foot fence.

He was out again the next mornin...

A criminal sets up a small souvenir shop in Australia selling glass Kangaroos as a front for his drug smuggling business

The detective working the case walks in and says
"I can see straight through your roos mate"

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