Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool?

They kept dropping their trunks.

Anything not related to elephants

is irrelephant.

Helping an Elephant

An American exchange student goes to Africa. While there, he spends a lot of time hiking around in the jungle. One day, he hears a commotion. He goes towards the sounds. Peering through some bushes, he spots an elephant.

The elephant seems to be in some distress. The student steps through...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't you see elephants hiding in a tree?

Because they're very good at it.

Why do the elephants paint their balls red?

So they can hide in a cherry tree.

What's the loudest sound in the jungle?

Giraffes eating cherries.

Joke from my 12 year old “why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?”

Because they’re so good at it!

Please don’t ban me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes into his doctors after being assaulted by an elephant in the jungle.

As the man explains what happened in the jungle the doctor is confused.
"Well, I can't see any injuries on you, so what happened?"

The man responds
"Well you see Doc, the elephant knocked me down and.... Had his way with me.. I know it's bad but can you have a look for me?"

The d...

I used to make a living by circumcising elephants

The pays were lousy but the tips were huge!

What happened to Batman and Robin when a herd of elephants trampled over them ?

They became Flatman and Ribbon...

Elephant never forgets

This man, Rajesh Patel wnet to Africa on a safari. While there, he comes upon an elephant, in great pain, with a giant thorn in its foot. Rajesh very carefully approaches the elephant, and gingerly removes the thorn from its foot. The elephant begins to walk away, then turns and stares at Rajesh for...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mum, dad and their son go to the zoo. When they get to the elephants, one walks over in their direction. The son asks the mother “what’s that hanging done”. The mother says “that’s his trunk”. “No behind that” says the son. “Oh that’s nothing” replies the mother.

The son then asks the dad, who says “that’s the elephant’s penis, son”. “Then why did mummy say it’s nothing?” Asks the boy. “Son, I’ve really spoiled that woman”

My friend once had a job circumcising elephants

Well according to him the pay was lousy but at least the tips were huge!

An elephant and an ant got into an argument.

The elephant lost his temper decided he was going to squash the ant.

The ant exclaimed, "ONLY IF YOU CAN CATCH ME!!!!" and ran off.

Elephants is chasing the ant, and as ant rounds a corner, he sees a rabbit.

"Yo, rabbit! Can I hide out in your fur? This elephant wants to kill m...

Did you know that humans, like elephants have evolved a very specific call to warn others about bees they have encountered?

Want to hear what it sounds like?

-


-



-


“BEES!”

Why do elephants and stoners get along so well?

.......uhhhh.... I can’t remember.

A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

“Ringling Brothers is coming to town this week,” she said. “The poster says they have a dancing bear. I always wanted to see one of those.”

“Maybe next year,” says the man. “Work’s really busy this week.”

The next night at dinner, t...

Why do elephants have long noses?

So they can scratch their bag

I like elephants.

Everything else is irrelephant.

Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she won’t think twice...

Call a girl fat once and she’ll always remember.


Because elephants never forget

Elephant jokes, because it's what 2021 needs

Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.

Bonus #1: How can you tell an elephant has been in your refrigerator? Footprints in the cheesecake.

Bonus #2: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rat an an elephant are walking around when the rat falls into a hole.

The rat panics as the hole was deep and he couldnt get out. The elephant looks at the situation and offers help.

“I know this isnt’t ideal but youre gonna have to trust me”

The rat desperate and exhausting all other options he asks for the elephants idea

“Im gonna stick my pen...

My uncle used to circumcise elephants. The pay was terrible, but...

The tips were massive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW An elephant has a splinter stuck in her foot, and it's driving her crazy.

NSFW

She can't move much and is in a miserable state. Along comes a mouse.

"Please, Mr. Mouse, take this splinter out of my foot so I'm not in so much pain" says the elephant.

The mouse rubs his chin, "on one condition"

"Anything" says the elephant

"I want to have...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Maybe repost, but it is a fabulous joke so I'll risk it. (Long, and works better when spoken)

A man is waking up in the morning, when he reads in the newspaper that the circus is coming to town. So he decides to go and see. He gets into his seat and the show starts. He watches the lions, the elephants, the tight rope walkers, and at the end there's a clown insulting people in the audience. T...

What is grey and pink,grey and pink?

2 elephants hiding in a strawberry patch

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you know an elephants’ sex organs are in its feet?

Because if it steps on you, you’re fucked!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy sees an elephants penis at the zoo

He asks “mommy! whats that?"

Mom quickly replies "oh that's nothing" and walks on.

Later while passing the elephant the kid sees the weiner again and says to his dad "what's that daddy?"

Dad replies "oh thats the elephants penis"

kid says "oh, mommy says that's n...

Why do elephants have tails?

So they don’t end abruptly

Whats grey and comes in buckets?

Elephants

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you know if two elephants were having sex in your backyard?

Your fence is knocked down and one of your Hefty trash bags is missing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know what sucks the most about being a democrat in a republican household?

If you try to address the Elephants in the room, you end up making an ass of yourself

3 elephants are falling from a cliff

Two land on ground the third on water.






Ba dum tss

How to catch an elephant

Elephants live in the jungle, so first, you have to go into the jungle.

Your going to have to dig a hole big enough to trap the elephant in.

Next you have to gets lots of leaves, sticks or anything that you can burn and place it into the hole, then burn it to ash.

You have to f...

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