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Elephants Jokes

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A boy sees an elephants penis at the zoo

He asks “mommy! whats that?"

Mom quickly replies "oh that's nothing" and walks on.

Later while passing the elephant the kid sees the weiner again and says to his dad "what's that daddy?"

Dad replies "oh thats the elephants penis"

kid says "oh, mommy says that's n...

I just got a new job at the zoo, circumcising the elephants!

The pay isn’t great, but the tips are huge!

Joke from my 12 year old “why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?”

Because they’re so good at it!

Please don’t ban me

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Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?

Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.

Why do elephants paint their balls red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.

What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
Giraffes eating cherries

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How do you kill a blue Elephant?

With a blue elephant gun obviously.

*How do you kill a red elephant?*

You choke it til it turns blue then use a blue elephant gun.

*How do you kill a green elephant?*

You tickle it til it turns red then choke it til it turns blue then use a blue elephant gun.

*How ...

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What do elephants use as tampons?

Sheep.

Why do elephants have trunks?

Sheep don't have strings.

Why do elephants make good employees?

Because they'll work for peanuts!

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A man goes into his doctors after being assaulted by an elephant in the jungle.

As the man explains what happened in the jungle the doctor is confused.
"Well, I can't see any injuries on you, so what happened?"

The man responds
"Well you see Doc, the elephant knocked me down and.... Had his way with me.. I know it's bad but can you have a look for me?"

The d...

How do you fit five elephants in a fiat 500?

Easy! Two in the front and three in the back!

Why can't two elephants go swimming?

-They only have one pair of trunks.

Why do elephants drink?

>!To forget!!<

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What else could he say??

A young couple decided to take their 5 year old son to see the circus. After several amazing acts, the ringmaster led six bull elephants into the center ring, linked trunk to tail in the usual manner.

"What's that big thing hanging off the elephant, Mommy?" Little Johnny asked.

"That...

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times, and she won't think twice...

Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.

Because elephants never forget

Billie Eilish is officially 18 now, do you know what that means?

She's old enough to order 12 fascinating issues of Zoobooks for $19.95 if she calls 1-800-441-2400. When she calls, they'll include the bonus Elephants issue, stickers, and Tiger Poster with her order.

Why do elephants have four feet?

Because eight inches isn't enough.

How do elephants speed up mealtime?

They truncate it.

Never lie to an elephant

There was a TED talk for elephants by elephants. The speaker elephant was talking about why you should never lie to elephants. It went like:

"So ladies and gentlemen, why should you never lie to an elephant?

Well it's because an elephant never...

never...

An elephant, uh,...

What weighs more? an elephant or a human?

The human.

elephants dont know how to use scales and thus, are incapable of weighing anything.

My grandfather used to circumcise elephants for a living.

The wages were poor, but the tips were enormous.

How do Tigers, Elephants, and Lions fly?

On the African plain

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won't notice. Call a girl fat once and she'll never forget...

Because elephants never forget.

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in cherry trees.

How to put 2 elephants in a jar without them touching each other?

You just put a third elephant between them.

I like elephants.

Everything else is irrelephant.

Why don't elephants ride tricycles?

They don't have a thumb to ring the little bell.

Elephant.

Why do elephants have four feet.?

\>

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They would look silly with four inches.

What do you get when you throw an elephant in the pool?

Wet.

What do you get when you throw two elephants in the pool?

Swimming trunks.

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An elephant is walking through the jungle.

An elephant is walking through the jungle. She is almost home home when she steps on a log and gets a nasty splinter deep in between her toes.

She tries to keep walking but the pain is just to much for her to handle.

As the elephant falls to the ground rrady to give up, she notices...

What do elephants and ice cream have in common?

They both come in quartz

Why do elephants wear green shoes?

So they can sneak across pool tables.

Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table?

Works, doesn't it?

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Why do elephants make love in water?

Well, how else do you keep a two tonne fanny wet for two hours?

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A kid goes to the zoo with his mom one day

They come to the Elephant enclosure. The Elephant is horny for some reason and his dick is fully erect. It catches kid's attention

Kid: *pointing to Elephants dick* - Mom, what is that?

Mom: It's...oh...its nothing. Let's move on.

*Comes with dad a few days later and they stop...

How do you fit 1,000,000 elephants in a Safeway?

You take the S from Safe and the F from Way

Why do elephants wear blue tennis shoes?

(So they land softer when they're sky diving?) No, because white ones scuff up too easily.

\---

Why shouldn't you go out in the savannah between 4pm and 6pm?
\--That's when the elephants go sky-diving

\---

Why do elephants live in herds?
\---To get the group dis...

Why were the elephants kicked out of the public pool?

They kept dropping their trunks.

Why do elephants have long noses?

So they can scratch their bag

Some people say elephants love alcohol because they love the taste…

but I think it’s because they drink to forget.

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