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Cyber Jokes

There was a catastrophic cyber attack recently...

The government is still looking for the hacker. They think he ran some ware.

Did you hear about the cyber criminal who got away?

They ransomware.

Why did the computer go to a cyber cafe?

Because it needed a byte to eat.

Where do people go to get drinks in cyber space?

A space bar

Did you hear about the German military's new Cyber Force?

It's called the Softwehr.

People sound really silly complaining about Cyber Punk 2077.

After all, the game was released 57 years early.

What's a TV show hacker's favorite kind of cyber attack?

A DDOL - Direct Denial of Logic

Did you hear the story about the cyber-suicide bomber?

Blew up all over the internet.

All these people are so quick to criticize Melania Trump for wanting to take on cyber bullying when that's something her husband has a problem with

But no one criticized Laura Bush for wanting to teach kids how to read

Today is cyber Monday!

A/S/L?

The Pentagon posted on Reddit about their cyber counterattack on Russia last night..

It was a riposte.

What do you call it when computer science majors make fun of each other?

Cyber boolean

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Baby download

Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad ...

Where did all the Cyber security consultants go for the last few days?

They ransomware.

I'm thwarting a global cyber attack using Binary

I guess you could say I'm defending the world, One Zero at a time...

I hope that Cyber Monday extends to the deep web...

Because I'm going to need to a discount on a new liver after all of that Thanksgiving drinking!

IT Dept Gets Burned

Saw this in our IT help chat at work today:

What’s the difference between our IT support and a cyber attack?

One of them has the incentive to succeed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cyber Monday is Ajit Pai’s favorite day of the year

He loves to fuck people online

New research

Shows Amish people have lower rates of cyber bullying

A couple of hours after Trump approved "offensive" cyber strikes against Iran's missile systems, he is heard shouting at his generals

Trump : WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE ARE NOT SENDING THE TROOPS????

General : But..But… sir, this is an attack via cyber space..

Trump : DO YOU THINK I AM THAT STUPID?? WHAT'S THE SPACE FORCE FOR THEN???

I am a victim of cyber bullying

Every day my bank emails me to notify me that my account is under the required threshold. I do not need reminders that I am poor.

A little boy to his father: "Daddy, how did I actually come into the world?" Daddy replies: "Alright my son, at some point we have to to this talking, so watch out:

Daddy got to know mommy in a "chat room." Later, daddy and mommy met in a "cyber cafe" and on the toilet, mommy wanted to do a few "downloads" of daddy's "Joy Stick". When daddy was then ready for the "upload", we suddenly realized that we had no "firewall" installed and it was already too late to p...

A man goes to a toy store to buy his daughter a Barbie doll for her birthday.

The salesman says, "We have Barbie Goes To the Dance for $19.99, Barbie goes Shopping at $19.99, Barbie goes Clubbing at $19.99, Barbie Goes To The Gym at $19.99, Cyber Barbie at $19.99, and Divorced Barbie at $499.99."

The father asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie $499.99 when all those other Ba...

A Chinese mother with a terrible stutter

There once was a Chinese woman named Wei, and her family had decided to move to America ever since Wei was 14 years of age. Though this was hard for Wei because her language transition didn't go over so well. She could speak clearly, but she'd always find herself stuttering on the last word.

...

Have you heard the latest trend...

Have you heard the latest trend that's blowin' up the Internet?


It's cyber-terrorism.

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