It's a big night for XR-573, the patriarch of the robot family. Not only are all three of his sons going to be over for dinner for the first time in years, but all three of them have brand new fiancées! XR-573 and his wife Z7-271 are both very excited to see their children and learn all about their ...
My coworker told me he used to have the same wireless earbuds as mine until his dog ate them...
Now he has blue teeth.
I just got a wireless robot the other day.
You could say that our relationship comes with no strings attached.
I'm finally replacing my old wireless router...
It's on its last lag.
Incels using wireless headphones
.. have bluetooth and blueballs.
I just got a new dual-band wireless router, but I'm not sure if it's working or not.
It's giving me mixed signals.
What do you call wireless headphones you give to your kids?
What do you get when you give a wizard wireless earbuds?
What is Tom Hanks' wireless password?
Why didn’t the fisherman care about his wireless internet connection?
Because either-net works when he’s catfishing.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Wireless Internet is like Sex
You still want it, even if it's unprotected and in a public place.
A team of British archaeologists dug to a depth of 15 feet and found an intricate network of copper wires.
From this, the team concluded that the Britain was advanced enough to have telephone connections in their cities 150 years ago.
In response to this, American archaeologists started their own expedition. They dug up to a depth of 20 feet and found an even more expansive network of copper wires...
Who is the director of the first wireless movie?
I was listening to my wireless headphones while the dentist was working on my teeth.
He needed to tell me something so he pulled out my earbud.
It was a Bluetooth extraction.
Last week I went to the AT&T headquarters in Dallas to file a formal complaint about their poor wireless coverage
When I walked into the lobby no one was there. There was a front desk with a few phones and computers. Taped to the back of one of the monitors was a note:
"Currently no receptionist in this area"
A famous car designer...
A famous car designer was about to retire at the age of 64 due to health concerns. For all his life, he had strived for perfection in his craft of designing cars, specifically for Kia. In each of his 32 models, he was instrumental in some innovation or vastly improved function.
He called for ...
Do you know why there's no Apple wireless charger?
Because they can't decide what exactly should break there.
Yo mama so dumb,
she tripped over the wireless network.
What do we call a wireless mouse?
What data service is red and wireless?
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year..
..British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the Brits, in the weeks that followed, a team of American archaeologists dug to a depth of 20 fe...
A man was recruited for a space colony
He had been posted to a planet 14 lightyears from Sol. As his ship landed on the planet's glowing surface, he saw a car waiting for him.
"Welcome to Anti-Earth," The driver said, "don't worry we are going to change the name soon. I am here to take you to your quarters and show you the colony ...
They must have updated the definition of WAP.
I no longer see Wireless Access Points on Google...
What does Verizon wireless and abortion clinics have in common?
They both have early termination fees
iPhone vs Samsung
iPhone user: The new iPhone is coming out
Samsung user: What's new?
iPhone user: We're getting facial recognition
Samsung user: Had that 4 year's ago next
iPhone user: We're getting wireless charging
Samsung user: Had that 2 year's ago next
iPhone user: We'r...
During this lockdown, please think of the confidence level and mental health of your companies IT person.
They have gone more then three months without being able to look you in the eye without smirking, while first turning your computer off and then on again, before accessing the admin profile to delete then add the wireless printer again so you can print your emails.
What's one thing you dont want to have while putting out a fire?
The French Test Drive
An American couple took their honeymoon in France, and they loved it so much they decided they just had to live there. But the costly move left them in financial hardship. Eventually, they did both find jobs, but on opposite ends of the city, so they decided to buy a car.
"This one," said the...
I've found the perfect girl but it isn't clicking yet
Wish me luck I'm about to change the battery on my wireless mouse.
Russian archeologists made a big discovery
As they dug a 100 meter deep hole, they found old copper wires. They made a big, worldwide announcement that the Russians were an advanced species. Even 1000 years ago they already had a copper network.
The Americans couldn't cope with the Russians being advanced longer than the Americans, so...
My 100 year old grandma asked me to set up a security camera, so she could see who was stealing her clothes at her assisted living facility, so I brought over a wireless camera and started to install an app on her IPAD for monitoring.
I needed her Apple ID to download the app, so I asked her ...
An engineer dies...
An engineer dies and stands before St. Peter at the gates of heaven. After going through all his records, St. Peter finds that the man must go to hell. The engineer complains, as he's always been loyal to his wife and friends, never stolen, and always tried to lead a good life.
"I'll take i...
David and Shane worked for a small furniture company which had recently developed a new product.
They had been developing a new kind of smart shelf, and it was finally finished. This shelf had everything! Part of it featured a built in wireless charger, there were USB ports, part of it could flip up to reveal a screen which could be used as digital picture frame as well as had access to YouTube...
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Israeli are having lunch...
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Israeli are having lunch. They get to talking about which civilization was the most technologically advanced.
The Englishman proclaims, "Surely England was the most technologically advanced nation. Why, our archaeologists dug 1,000 meters into the earth un...
A man’s wife is in labor and they rush to the hospital around midday.
When they get there, the doctors inform the Man that they have experimental machines to wirelessly transfer some of the pain of childbirth to the father of the child.
Then man, being a tough guy, agrees to bear some of the burden for his wife.
They start at the lowest setting of 1% b...
What do dogs use to listen to music during walks
The use their wireless AirPaw(d)s
French archaeologists found ancient copper cables under Paris...
They came to the conclusion that the French had telecommunications way back in the Copper age. Infuriated by this, the British published a paper saying they found Bronze cables under London and came to the conclusion that they had telecommunication technology way before the French.
Topical Jokes for 10/19
(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)
Carmaker Audi has tested a driver-less car at speeds of up to 140 mph. The driver-less supercar is perfect for the parent who’s too drunk to drive, but needs to pick their kids up from school in three seconds.
Why does everyone always brag that they are “going to go unplugged for a while”
Wireless devices were invented decades ago.
Metal detectors are valuable archeological tools.
A Brit with a metal detector dug up a chunk of land along the Thames and found a few stray pieces of jewelry and copper cables buried 10 feet deep. The newspaper headlines read "Excavation proves telephony in Britain was widespread 100 years ago."
Not to be outdone, an Irishman dug up a secti...
A Frenchman, a German, and an American were regulars at a bar
One day, the Frenchman decides that he is going to prove how much smarter the French are than Germans or Americans. So he goes digging in his backyard and finds traces of copper wiring 15ft deep. He smugly claims, "Ha! 300 years ago, my ancestors had a working telephone system!"
The German, n...
Respect the dead
A young man went to a funeral. While being there he noticed that the church had a wireless network.
Hey, what is the wifi password?
A sad relative said:
Respect the dead!
And the boy asked:
All in lowercase?
Uh-oh. I think the object of my desires suspects something.
She's just changed her wireless ID to: *Hey, you in the tree, I've called the police.*
In the past
Russian scientists dug 1000 mtr deep and found a copper wire. They concluded: “1000 yrs back our ancestors were using copper cable technology”..
American scientists dug 2000 mtr deep and found optic fibre. They concluded: “2000 yrs back our ancestors were using optic fibre technol...
The next iPhone will be without a...
Screen. You can buy a wireless screen. We are removing it because it's bulky and old.
iPhone 7 is revolutionary!
•no headphones jack •no wireless charging •no curved screen •no 4K resolution (or even full HD) screen •no VR headset support •no 360 camera support •no expansion storage slot
It is true revolution in scamming people to upgrade from old iPhones!
An Irish, a Scot and an English man are digging.....
in their back gardens. 12 feet down the English man finds copper wire. In the local paper he announces England had internet 200 years ago. The Scots mon finds wire at 16 feet and announces Scotland had internet 300 years ago. The Irish man digs 22 feet! but finds nothing and states in the pa...
And actor, a director and a writer walk into a bar.
A director, an actor and a writer walk into a bar.
A sign hanging over the bar proclaims an amateur bull-fighting tournament; where a winner can walk away with a load of gold.
The director races to the bullring, confident in winning the bullion. He sets up lights all over the ring and ...