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Interesting Jokes

There was a Pirate Captain who had an interesting way of pillaging ships..

Prowling the edges of dangerous waters where storms and large reefs were common, the Captain and his crew would pick out the most stricken merchant vessels limping out of a storm, then swiftly close in.

 

Once their pirate ship was alongside the merchant vessel however, the ...

Just watched an interesting documentary on cocaine...

Going to watch all documentaries this way now!

To the women who say "Men are only interested in one thing"

Have you ever considered being more interesting?

I saw that our local zoo has an interesting attraction : A lion and a sheep living peacefully in the same cage.



I asked the zookeeper whether they ever fight. He said, "Rarely."

I asked what happens when they do.

"We get another sheep."

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Interesting fact about myself: (1) my penis is not as long as a footlong sub

(2) I'm banned from Subway

Interesting fact about Mahatma Gandhi

If you've ever seen the film about Gandhi, you know that he was famous for walking everywhere. But what they don't show in the film is that he was able to do this because he'd built up enormous callouses on his feet. And even though his body was very frail, his Hindu faith and devotion to meditation...

A Man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The bartender says “What an interesting pet, whats his name?” “Tiny” the man replies. “What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?”



"Because…He’s my newt.

Interesting creature!

What is Green and Brown, has 22 Balls, Eight Legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A Pool table

Interesting Research

Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.

So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?”

One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!”

So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?”

That’s about as far as I remember.

The history and reasons why France switched to the metric system is very interesting

But to make a long story short, it was Napoleon.

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Two interesting facts about me:

1: My Penis is the exact length of two IKEA pencils.

2: I've got a lifetime ban from IKEA!

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let's make things interesting."

So we stopped playing chess.

A student thinks it will be fun and interesting to take a class in ornithology to meet his science requirement.

Well, it’s not. There are mountains of homework and he finds himself studying for hours every week trying to prepare for classes. The final exam determines whether he passes the class, so he spends days studying and reviewing material. He arrives at the exam to find a single question: identify 5...

Ancient cultures had interesting and unique philosophies

For example, if you asked the question: “What separates man from animals?” You would get vastly different answers.

The Greeks would say “Philosophy and Law”

The Chinese would say “Morals and Art”

The Romans would say “The Mediterranean and the Danube”

An interesting hack

How did the hacker escape the police?

He ransomwhere

Interesting accents!

3 hefty women walk into a restaurant, and sit down at a table. The server comes to take their drink orders. When they're done ordering he says, "What an interesting accent! Are you broads from Scotland?"

One woman looks at him with surprise and disgust and says, "WALES!"

The bartender ...

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An interesting story

There once was a King of a tribe in Africa. He lived in a huge, round house made of grass, typical of all the others in the village, except that his was the largest. By day he sat on the stump of a tree, which had been brought into his hut, and covered with animal skins. Everyone else sat on the flo...

An interesting fact about karl marx and Olympics

Karl Marx had a sister named Onya that was an Olympic athlete. She is still honored today, her name is invoked at the start of every foot race.

They were perfect friends, so they had interesting conversations.

So one of them asked, "If you had three cars, would you give me one?"
"Of course, we are friends."
"And if you had three houses, would you give me one?"
"Of course, we are friends."
"And if you had three girlfriends, would you give me one?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Becaus...

Interesting Parliaments.

Member of Parliament: Mr speaker, half of the members in this house are stupid.

Speaker: Honourable member please withdraw that statement.

Member of parliament: My apologies Mr speaker, half of members in this house are not stupid.

Speaker: Thank you, lets move on.

I think it's interesting how people sleep differently

I usually sleep on my back, my brother sleeps on his stomach, and my ex sleeps with half of this town

Something interesting has been revealed by a recent poll.

Many people are swayed by a common opinion.

An interesting title

In high school kids used to say i resembled a large bird so they would exclude me from activities.

I guess that would make me Ostrich-sized

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There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses, the results were pretty interesting...

30% of women think their ass is too fat,

10% of women think their ass is too skinny,

The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he is a good man, and wouldn't trade him for the world.

this has a interesting twist

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention ...

Here's an interesting joke:

The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were
beating on the shore were hardly equal in intensity to the waves of
passion nearby. One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man to
whisper, "Darling am I the first man to make love to you ?"
Her t...

Texas sounds like an interesting place

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas.

When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, “Wow, these seats are big!” The person next to him answered, “Everything is big in Texas.”

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in th...

Interesting fact: T-Shirt is short for Tyrannosaurus Shirt…

Because of the short arms.

There's an interesting feature on your car that you don't know about...

Just like there are brake lights for the brake pedal, there are also gaslights for the gas pedal. No, I didn't make that up, everyone has them. I swear. Have you ever read the owners manual? Everyone knows about them, I'm surprised that you don't. How do not know about the gaslighting?

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A little girl has an interesting dream...

In the dream, she was in a circular room, throwing flowers in the air, saying "The flowers are so pretty, the flowers are so pretty."

She went to school the next day and forgot to bring her show-and-tell project because she kept thinking about the dream. It came her turn to go, and she went t...

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King Richard’s coronation must have been interesting.

Everyone was waiting patiently for a good Dick King.

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Interesting Stat.

While talking to girl:


"Hey, I heard an interesting stat the other day. They said that 80% of women masturbate in the shower. Know what the other 20% do?"

"No, what?"

"Yea, I figured you were in the first group."

Some construction jobs are more interesting than others.

For example, drilling holes is boring but fastening metal plates together can be riveting.

"An interesting title" doesn't sparks interest

Two men are walking down the street when they happen upon a dog licking his balls, The first man says " Boy, I wish I could do that" The second guy says" I tried once and he bit me".

Interesting fact

There are more planes in the sea than submarines in the sky.

-my brother

Interesting

Interesting, isn’t it, that "take out" refers to food, romantic dating, and assassination.

I grew up in an interesting home...

My father was Irish and my mother is German. That means that every once in a while they would get drunk and try to take over the world.

A woman is flirting with a Russian man at a bar(a joke)

She says,


"Hi, handsome, what do you do for a living?"


The Russian replies,


"I work for KGB."


"Cool, tell me an interesting story!"


"About me or about you?"

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Interesting fact:

Before cyanobacteria, the progenitor of photosynthesis, earth was mostly oxygen-poor and dominated by anaerobic (can live in and thrive without oxygen) bacteria. Most of these bacteria were strict anaerobes, meaning oxygen would kill them. After cyanobacteria evolved, earth became flooded with oxyge...

It's interesting how different a US president looks at the end of their presidency. Obama had gray hair. Bush had a bunch of wrinkles..

At the end of JFKs presidency, half of his head was missing.

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An interesting quote...

ÂŤThe one that falls asleep with an itchy butt wakes up with stinky fingersÂť

An interesting title

What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce?
Chicken Caesar salad

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My uncle was vegan. That made his porn interesting.

The first porno I saw was Debbie Does Sallad.

Today I saw an interesting sign at a picture framing shop.

"SHOOT THE FAMILY, HANG THE KIDS, FRAME THE WIFE."

So I learned some interesting things today

I get a kick out of words and word histories, so reading up I learned the word "CENTURION" came from the old Latin word for one hundred, because they were an officer in charge of one hundred soldiers. I also learned that the term "DECIMATE" comes from a collective punishment centurions would mete o...

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An interesting sound

A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a st...

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A interesting genie loophole

Genie: you have three wishes.

Me: I wish for more-

Genie: no wishing for more wishes!

Me: I wish for more *genies*.

Genie: holy shit.

All the new genies: holy shit.

Before I die

Before I die I am going to eat a whole bag of unpopped popcorn.

That should make the cremation a little more interesting.

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I asked my biology teacher how he makes his class so interesting

He told me: Sex cells.

What's interesting is that this joke can now be reused and instead of Soviet Union we can just say; current day Russia

In Russia a Man Goes to Buy a Car...

He goes up to the owner and asks for a car, to which the owner responds:

'You know there is a 10 year waiting list?'

The man then answers, 'OK,' and after some time he then agreed to buy a car.

So he pays for the car in advance, and ju...

Interesting shell tattoo

I once dated a girl with a tattoo of a shell in her inner thigh. If you put your ear to it you could smell the ocean

A most interesting fellow

A man is walking down the street and runs into a rather strange looking fellow. He's wearing a dark hood obscuring much of his face, so he goes to investigate. He soon realizes that the hooded figure had no face at all.

"Excuse me, sir," the man asked the hooded figure, "do you mind taking o...

Two guys are playing chess.

One says to the other, "How about we make this more interesting?"

So they stop playing chess.

For sure, 2020 was an interesting year

After all, it went viral.

An interesting title

Me [trying to keep the conversation going] : so, what do you do for a living??

Barber [slowly stops cutting my hair] : ....

Here's an interesting statistic about herd mentality:

It affects 10 in 10 people.

An interesting title

A Policeman pulled
me over and said "Papers?"

So I said "Scissors"
and drove away.

An interesting chat

Me : My wife has died, but tears are not coming out of my eyes.
My friend : No problem, just imagine she came back.

An interesting title

One time I was carrying a guitar, and fell down the stairs, and accidentally wrote a Nickleback song.

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Read an interesting statistic on mammography technologists

They all have a boob job

A drug addict calls the police to report something interesting

The police officer, interested, asks. "What is it?"

The addict responds. "Okay, I-"

The officer interrupts, quickly making sure they're not on drugs "You're sober right now, right?"

"Yes, this happened when I was sober too."

All seems okay to this point. "Okay, go on."...

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An interesting joke

I remember a joke from a stand up show .
If I remember correctly it's from Gabriel Iglesias when he was in Saudi Arabia. The joke goes something like this .

Two Jews walk into a bar . Not in my country hehehe.

I remember this stupid joke from time to time and it cracks me up e...

I DON'T HAVE AN INTERESTING TITLE

A young man (YM) walks into a pharmacy, greets the owner and go straight to where the condoms are stored. After 10 minutes the owner notice that the young man is still there and decide to go and see if he can help him. The owner sees that he seems a bit lost and ask if he need some advice.

YM...

Women always find me interesting and mysterious on the first date.

I knew that the fog machine under the table was a good idea!

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Interesting fact about the Canary Islands

Did you know that there's not a single canary bird on the Canary Islands?

Same holds true for the Virgin Islands.

Not a single canary bird there either.

Doggone interesting

This guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a mutt just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the mutt replies. "So, what's your story?" The mutt looks up and...

A pastor, an imam, and a rabbit decide to donate blood.

The pastor comes out and says, “They tested it and told me I’m A positive.”

The imam follows up with, “Interesting! I found out I’m AB negative.”

The rabbit looks at the two of them and says, “Pretty sure I’m a type O.”

Three interesting things happened today ...

First, this guy tells me he's going to vote for Donald Trump in 2020.

Next, two minutes later, he gets hit by a bus.

Then, Trailways fired me.

I found being an electrician interesting

But the work was shocking.

Interesting piece of history

Somewhere in the dawn of time, the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.


In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

Bacon and Egg lead very interesting lives

Egg went to college but Bacon Strips

Interesting misconception regarding Type O Blood

Initially, the medical community referred to it as 'Type Zero' blood, due to the lack of glycoproteins. The term was misinterpreted to what it is today. You could venture as far as saying it's a **typo.**

My friend got a new (interesting) job..

I ran into an old friend and in catching up I asked how he was doing and how work was going with Covid.

He surprised me when he said he was laid off from his regular well paying job, but he had taken a part time job as a *Mohel*. I asked what that was and he explained it was the guy in the ...

I found an interesting tune for my ringtone!

But nobody calls me.

Mmmm. Just learned an interesting fact

So apparently anti vaxxed children have mid life crisis at the age of 2

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Interesting Farmers Market

A young man was driving to work when he realized he had forgotten his lunch.

As he drove frustrated with himself he came across a farmers market with and interesting sign,

“apples that taste like pussy”

Better than nothing he said.
As he bit into his first apple he was gre...

If you want to hear a very interesting story:

send an SMS to your wife with the following text in the body: "I know everything"

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An Interesting Gift

A poor man meets a rich man around Christmas.

The poor man asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The poor man asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the ea...

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Something Interesting

A 3rd grade teacher gave her class the assignment to find something interesting over spring break and tell the class about it next week. Spring break came and went and the teacher instructed the class, "When I call your name I want you to come up to the front of the class and tell me something inter...

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An interesting experiment

There was this specially talented musician, he could play almost any instrument, conduct an entire orchestra and compose like anyone else.

So, a couple scientists were very interested in finding how his brain works.

The musician agreed with a bizarre experiment, he would let the scient...

Interesting Title Here

Pun time!!

Q: What do you call dental x-rays? A: Tooth pics.

Q: What do you call a group of babies? A: An infantry.

Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? A: He pasta away.

Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? A: Because they lactose.

Q: What do yo...

Roman Numerals are very interesting... [LONG JOKE]

You turn on the radio one morning to find another one of those Rap songs where every 4th word is a swear. Naturally the Radio bleeps it out, but you realize that it sounds familiar. You realize that the rappers are speaking in Morse code.

Your eyes widen as you swerve over onto the shoulder ...

There's an interesting joke about guests waiting for refreshments

That's the punch line

I just read an interesting new warning on my shower cleaner:

"Keep this and all cleaning products away from children. If swallowed, get emergency psychiatric help and regurgitate the children before they are digested."

I'm reading an incredibly interesting book about antigravity.

I just can't put it down.

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What's interesting about vampire sex?

They only come at night.

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"Wow, this is interesting." I said to the wife, as I scanned the web page...

"It says here that although less than half a dozen giant squid have ever been seen alive, scientists believe there may be over five hundred million of them in our oceans."

"Why the fuck are you telling me this?" She snapped. "You're supposed to be looking up some cool tattoo designs for my ar...

Interesting fact...

Every birthday is a surprise birthday after you reach 80.

An interesting fact about the human body

Did you know, the last thing that happens to your body after you die is your pupils widen? It's because they dilate.

Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.

"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her handbag, took a measurement and announced, "Twenty one...

I went to a really interesting lecture on kleptomania.

I took a lot from it.

I don’t get why wormholes are interesting, I saw one this morning

Then I threw my apple away

What is the least interesting element?

Boron

I always found Owls to be interesting

But I still can't figure out why the whole country is excited about this Superb Owl.

What is the most interesting word in the English language?

Stroke it just blows your mind

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A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky
enough to be seated next to an absolutely
gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos
and he notices she is reading a manual about
sexual statistics.

He asks her about it and she
replies, "This is a very interesting book about
sexua...

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