An interesting title

In high school kids used to say i resembled a large bird so they would exclude me from activities.

I guess that would make me Ostrich-sized

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'.

So we stopped playing chess.

My first grader made this one up: What do you call the northern lights when they're not very interesting?

Aurora Boringalis

So I learned some interesting things today

I get a kick out of words and word histories, so reading up I learned the word "CENTURION" came from the old Latin word for one hundred, because they were an officer in charge of one hundred soldiers. I also learned that the term "DECIMATE" comes from a collective punishment centurions would mete o...

A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and ...

I don’t get why wormholes are interesting, I saw one this morning

Then I threw my apple away

For sure, 2020 was an interesting year

After all, it went viral.

Interesting that the “picture everyone naked” trick to ease anxiety while presenting in front of a group of people...

...was taught by our elementary school teachers.

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Interesting fact about myself: (1) my penis is not as long as a footlong sub

(2) I am abnned from Subway

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was sur...

A Man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The bartender says “What an interesting pet, whats his name?” “Tiny” the man replies. “What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?”



"Because…He’s my newt.

Learnt an interesting fact today..... If you spell "Absolutely Nothing" backwards, you get "Gnihton Yletulosba" which actually means.........

........... Absolutely Nothing!!

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A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeeez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!" "I got every word," says the parrot. "Ask me anything, I'll answer whatever you want."

"Okay," the guy says. "How can you hang onto your perch without any feet?" "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but si...

I found an interesting tune for my ringtone!

But nobody calls me.

If you want to hear a very interesting story:

send an SMS to your wife with the following text in the body: "I know everything"

Two facts interesting facts about me: 1) I once knocked out a champion boxer with a single punch

2) I'm now banned from Crufts.

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Me and the missus were touring southern France looking for interesting places to have sex, and we found the perfect city for a 69

Nice.

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A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane

A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly,...

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Sherlock Holmes and Watson are called to investigate a murder at a quarry one day...

When they arrive at the scene of the crime, it's already been taped off and other investigators are there. Holmes and Watson push their way to the front as they typically do and start going to work.

"Holmes, look at this, what is it?" Watson asked.

"Why that's the butt end of a cigar o...

There was a Pirate Captain who had an interesting way of pillaging ships..

Prowling the edges of dangerous waters where storms and large reefs were common, the Captain and his crew would pick out the most stricken merchant vessels limping out of a storm, then swiftly close in.

 

Once their pirate ship was alongside the merchant vessel however, the ...

There's an interesting joke about guests waiting for refreshments

That's the punch line

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A man sits next to a pretty woman on an airplane. While they’re in the air he makes conversation...

... “so where are you flying to”? He asks.

*im going to a nymphomaniacs’ convention*

“Really” he says

*yes, I’m a teacher there... I teach about sex*

“Interesting” he says

*im doing a lecture about sexual stereotypes... for instance, everybody always says that blac...

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A man was in a long line at the supermarket. As he got to the checkout he realized he had forgotten to get condoms.

So he asked the checkout girl if she could have some condoms brought up to register.

She asked, “What size condoms?” The customer replied that he didn’t know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did, and she reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him, then picked up the store intercom and ...

A priest, an imam and a rabbi

A priest, an imam and a rabbi are discussing how they decide how much money goes to god and how much they keep.

The priest goes first: "It's quite simple, we draw a line on the floor and throw the money. Everything beyond the line is for god, the rest is for us."

The imam: "Oh interest...

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A customer enters a restaurant.

After sitting down, a waiter gives him the menu. The customer goes through it but doesn’t find anything interesting.

Customer: Waiter, do you know what are the specials for this evening?

Waiter: Ah yes. We have a special dish called “Fuck”. It is a combination of fish and duck served w...

Interesting fact

There are more planes in the sea than submarines in the sky.

-my brother

At the Pearly Gates in Heaven

The first applicant of the day at the Pearly Gates explains that his last day was not a good one...
“I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just got out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she w...

Interesting Research

Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

My friend got a new (interesting) job..

I ran into an old friend and in catching up I asked how he was doing and how work was going with Covid.

He surprised me when he said he was laid off from his regular well paying job, but he had taken a part time job as a *Mohel*. I asked what that was and he explained it was the guy in the ...

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Interesting fact:

Before cyanobacteria, the progenitor of photosynthesis, earth was mostly oxygen-poor and dominated by anaerobic (can live in and thrive without oxygen) bacteria. Most of these bacteria were strict anaerobes, meaning oxygen would kill them. After cyanobacteria evolved, earth became flooded with oxyge...

Women always find me interesting and mysterious on the first date.

I knew that the fog machine under the table was a good idea!

I'm reading an incredibly interesting book about antigravity.

I just can't put it down.

An interesting title

What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce?
Chicken Caesar salad

I DON'T HAVE AN INTERESTING TITLE

A young man (YM) walks into a pharmacy, greets the owner and go straight to where the condoms are stored. After 10 minutes the owner notice that the young man is still there and decide to go and see if he can help him. The owner sees that he seems a bit lost and ask if he need some advice.

YM...

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The president of the USA is meeting with the president of Russia at Moscow

The USA president sees a red button next to his chair, hr presses it once and a ice water bucket falls on his face, he press it second time and the chair gives him a punch, he presses third time and the chair kicks him out.
Few months later the Russian President comes to Washington, he sees a red...

Interesting how there aren’t any cases of COVID-19 in Antarctica

Must be because of ice-o-lation

To the women who say "Men are only interested in one thing"

Have you ever considered being more interesting?

I found being an electrician interesting

But the work was shocking.

2020 was an interesting leap year

There was 29 days in February, 300 days in March and 5 years in April

One day when Jesus was relaxing in Heaven, He happened to notice a familiar-looking old man.

Wondering if the old man was His father Joseph, Jesus asked him, "Did you, by any chance, ever have a son?"

"Yes," said the old man, "but he wasn't my biological son. He was born by a miracle, by the intervention of a magical being from the heavens."

"Very interesting," said Jesus. "Di...

So I met a girl at the bar

Nothing really interesting about her. Her hair was on fire, yeah.

In my opinion she was really selfish. It was all about *her.*



"Help *me"*

"Put *me* out."

"*I'm* not joking *I'm* on fire."

"*I'm* dying."

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Guy starts chatting to pretty woman at a party

Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation,

"Who named you, your mother?"

"No, I named myself, she answered.

"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"

"Because I like cars, and I like men,...

What is the most interesting word in the English language?

Stroke it just blows your mind

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A man was eating at a restaurant ...

When he noticed all the servers had spoons in their pocket.

Curious, he asked his server “why do all of you carry spoons?”

“Oh that’s interesting,” replied the server. “Our manager attended a seminar and found out the spoon is the most frequently dropped utensil. This way we are alway...

A man goes into an antiques dealership carrying a violin and a painting. "Hi. I found these in the loft of the house I've just bought. I'm interested in having them valued with a view to selling them." The owner, duly fascinated takes them into the back to give them the once over.

"Very interesting." he tells the man on his return. "You realise, you've got a genuine Rembrandt and a bona fide Stradivarius here."

"That's wonderful- I'm rich!" exclaims the man.

"Not so fast, son." replies the dealer- "Rembrandt violins are notorious poor quality and Stradivarius co...

If I could rearrange the alphabet...

I'd replace U with a more interesting character.

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I'm going to hunt down the bastard that cursed me with "May you live in interesting times"

And curse him back, may **he** live in interesting times.

A Pirate captain and his first mate make landfall on the island of Madagascar

On land they see a variety of creatures but most interesting a lemur around a wreck on the beach.

Upon closer examination by the captain to his astonishment, the lemur is spying on the pirates with a telescope

The captain says to his first mate “Do you see what that lemur is looking a...

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.

So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?” 
One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!” 
So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?” 
That’s about as far as I remember

One evening, after attending the theater, two gentlemen were walking down the avenue when they observed a rather well-dressed and attractive young lady walking ahead of them.

One of them turned to the other and remarked, "I'd give $250.00 to spend the night with that woman." Much to their surprise, the young lady overheard the remark, turned around, and replied, "I'll take you up on that offer."


She had a neat appearance and a pleasant voice, so after biddin...

I told this joke today when asked to stand up and introduce yourself to the group, and say something interesting about yourself ...

So this guy dies and goes to hell. He finds himself in a nice room with a group of other people. Satan stands up and says, "Welcome to Hell!" The guy thinks to himself, "well, this doesn't seem so awful." Then Satan says, "I'd like each of you to introduce yourself, and tell us something interes...

Daddys car in the woods

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.
Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. "Mo...

Four teachers are talking in the staffroom

The English teacher said: "I had a particularly dim pupil today ask me what came after 'F', I made sure be kind when I told him it was 'G'"
The music teacher replied with "I think I taught the same boy, he must've been confused when I told him that naturally F sharp came after F."
The computer...

Three new corpses are delivered to the morge one day, each with a smile on their face.

The mortician examines each of them and says who they are and their cause of death.

"First body- Frenchman, aged 60, died making love to his mistress, hence the smile on his face.

Second body- Irishman, aged 30, won a thousand euros in the lottery, spent it all on whiskey, and died of ...

4 Husbands

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director,"...

An interesting title

A Policeman pulled
me over and said "Papers?"

So I said "Scissors"
and drove away.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

Joe Biden:...

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