The Three Kingdoms of Int

In a faraway land called Int there lay three kingdoms: the Smaller, the Taller, and the Medium. An adventurer by the name of Jawn came to the three kingdoms, looking for the fabled elixir of Blue Milk. Jawn knew that this fabled elixir lay in one of the kingdoms of Int so he went to each kingdom. Ho...

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A young black boy walks int to kitchen ...

There he dumps a pound of flour on himself, he goes to his mother and says, " look! I'm a white boy!" His mother slaps him in the mouth and says, "go tell your Father what you jst said!" The boy goes to his fAther and says, " look! I'm a white boy!" His father takes him over his leg and spanks him ...

Not only is it daylight savings time today, but also Int'l Women's Day.

Because apparently a full 24 hours to celebrate women would have been just a bit much.

[Programmer Joke] Why did the int drown?

Because he couldn't float! (Insert laughter here)

Interviewer: Do you have any question about the job that you are applying for?

Applicant: How much is the salary?

Interviewer: Initially $40,000. Later it could go up to $80,000

Applicant: I will start later then.

A software engineer gets sent to the shops by his wife

She tells him

“Go and get a pint of milk, and if they have eggs get six”

So he disappears and comes back ten minutes later with six pints of milk.

“Why on earth did you get six pints of milk?” His wife asks. He replies

“They had eggs”

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smelly and colored dick

One guy comes straight from a fast food restaurant with a hamburger in one hand and a cup of cola in the other. Equipped like this he goes straight to the toilet. Standing in there he tells another guy that he can't put his drink or his food down because of a lack of space. So he asks the other man ...

a guy with dementia walks into a bar

a guy with dementia walks into a bar

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A redditor walks in to bar...

The bartender says, "what'll you have?"

"It's been so long since I've had a good laugh", replies the redditor. "I'll give you $100 if you can tell me a joke I haven't heard before."

"That sounds easy enough", replies the bartender.

"I should warn you", the redditor says, "I b...

Multi-level Meta Joke

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a free drink. The bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a multi-level meta joke." So the guy says "A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a free drink. The bartender says "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell ...

How do you tell a programmer from a DnD player?

Ask them to complete the list: int, char, str...

A Machine Learning Expert at an interview

Interviewer: "What can you say is your biggest strength?"

ML Expert: "I'm an expert in machine learning."

Int.: What's 6 + 10?

ML E.: Zero.

Int.: That's not even close! it's 16!

ML E.: Okay, it's 16.

Int.: What's 10 + 20?

ML E.: It's 16.

Job Interview

"It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17x19?"

"36"

"That's not even close!"

"But it was quick!"

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A bear and a hare suddenly found a genie in the forest

The genie says: "Ok, guys, since there are two of you and I'm feeling a bit generous, I grant each of you three wishes. Ask me anything!"
The bear asks in disbelief: "You really can grant any wish? Like anything I want?"
"Sure", the genie says
"The I want all the male bears in this whole fo...

I made a program to generate puns, but I stored them in the wrong type of variable

No pun int. Ended

The man who saved Reddit

In the not too distant future, web censorship is pervasive; speech and freedom are strangers to one another; while pirates sail the seas with impunity, digital pirates are incarcerated by the busload.

Anyone who speaks out against this ban on open-dialogue or the free-sharing-of-ideas is grou...

Faxs

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:

Dear Wife:
You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by th...

Swedish for beginners.

\-Far, får får får?
\-Nej, får får inte får, får får lamm.

2,147,483,647 bottles of beer on the wall, 2,147,483,647 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around

Error: Int overflow

I'm gonna vote for Trump at elections...

Cuz I a'int ever seen a president assassinated

I'm writing a movie, its about an hour

FADE IN:

INT. CLOCK FACE - DAY

NARRATOR (V.O.)
One Mississippi, two Mississippi....



I've only written the first two lines so far.

How do programmers get a sixpack?

int[][] abs = new int[2][3]

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The well trained nazi spy arrives to Britan in 1943.

He walks int a bar and says:- Two Martinis please?- Dry-asks the bartender-Nein zwei!!!!- Shouts the spy

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Real Rabbi Joke

OK - so many years ago, i was actually a practicing jew, in a yeshiva no less. The rabbi's would sometimes tell us jokes. most were awful. this one i thought was amusing. in a reddit filled with old reposts, i think it'll at least be a bit fresh.

A long time ago there was a small jewish commu...

Taxi driver

So there's this man who drives a taxi for a living. He's no bad man, pays his taxes, loves his wife and has no addictions. But there is one bad thing that the taxi driver just loves to do, despite his good nature. Every time he drives past one of those cyclists who act like they own the place he eve...

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Topical Jokes (5/16)

Another day has gone by. And, of course, we now have a new set of jokes. Some of these are weirder but let's begin!

Inside int'l experts believe that Kim Jong Un may have two babies by two different women. In a quick response to the rumor, President Obama has appointed a new consul to North K...

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