UPJOKE
extrovertlonerpersonalityshynesssociopathegotistbraggartnarcissistworkaholicoverachievermicromanagerstuttererworrierhermitextroverted

How do you kill an introvert?

Starve him to death by putting another person in the kitchen

What is a group of introverts called?

An oxymoron!


please help me

How can u tell a computer scientist is an introvert or an extrovert?

The extrovert looks at your shoes while having conversation while the introvert looks at his own shoe.

If wanting to be alone makes you an introvert, and wanting to be with people makes you an extrovert,

wanting to be with cats must make you a purrvert.

How many introverts does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, unless they need help - in which case it's still one.

introverts are like kittens

Extroverts see them and go " I want *that* one"

what do you call a pale, introvert nerd?

Fair and square

You can tell a lot about an Introvert by his handwriting, posture and favorite movie

About an extrovert, you can tell everything by his constantly non-closing mouth...

Two introverts walk into a room...

One leaves

Have you met Post Malone's introvert brother?

Leave M'Alone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm developing a scent for introverts. It's called...

..... Leave Me the Fuck Cologne!

How do you make an introvert happy?

Cancel.

What's the difference between an extrovert and an introvert mathematician?

The introvert mathematician looks at his shoes when he's talking to you.

The extrovert one looks at yours.

I'm in a band called The Introverted Pessimists.

You've probably never heard of us, but that's fine.

My friend has an introvert amphibian as a pet.

Whenever we hang out it never axolotl question.

Social distancing for an introvert is like winning a free ticket to a Coldplay concert for an extrovert

I feel right at home

What do vegans and introverts have in common?

Both avoid meet.

I'm so introverted...

That I was told to self-isolate for 14 days, and asked to make it an even 28.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you know someone is an introvert?

They won't shut the fuck up about it.

I know someone who’s an introvert and he ALMOST broke a world record.

He was just shy.

AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE AN INTROVERT PARTY, CUZ AN INTROVERT PARTY

Don’t start.

As an introvert, I love my wife.

*wifi

Why don’t introverted trees want to be chopped down?

They don’t want to dialog

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People always ask if im an introvert or extrovert

Bitch im a pervert

How do introverts feel within society?

[removed]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An introvert walks into a bar...

Then immediately walks out because fuck that shit.

I made a new fragnance for introverts

It's called 'leave me the fuh cologne'

It's a great time to be an introvert.

I've been practicing social distancing for so long that Sasquatch has a blurry picture of me hanging on his wall.

How to spot an introvert in a crowd

Please don't

It was cool being an introvert till the government started telling everybody to do it.

Now I wanna go outside.

New York City is the archnemises of Introverts

It always seems like it's a creepy introvert that wants to destroy the largest American city.


After 9/11, even Osama Bin Laden escaped to a cave and then a Pakistani stronghold to have his alone time and recharge.


But like any good friendship, that introvert has that one ex...

Attendance at my monthly introvert meetup is it an all time high...

It's just that I feel like we're attracting the wrong crowd.

Here's an idea you can use to get some time alone as an introvert

Just cough once and tell them how amazing the china trip was.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex for introverts

is another opportunity to go inside.

How do you introvert a variable?

You get it by itself.

Why do introverts identify so much with Thor's brother?

Because he's low-key.

Research done on introverts

revealed nothing

George is at his first middle school party but really nervous cause he's mostly an introvert

He tries to fit in but we can see he is visibly sweating, his more social friend, Finn walks up to him and George finally sighs of relief.

Finn: George, what are you doing man? You're sweating like a fountain!

George: Well you know how I really don't like being around a lot of people, ...

I'm such an introvert

That I keep a gun next to my bed to shoot myself when a thief enters my house just because I don't wanna go with the process of meeting him

What do you call an introverted teenager?

A quaranteen

What do you call introverted Hobbits?

Shyer folk.

How can you tell whether a mathematician is introverted or extroverted?

The introverted mathematician will look at his shoes while telling you something.

The extroverted will look at your shoes.

An introvert walks into a bar...

My bad, I was thinking of someone else. The introvert stayed at home.

A vegan and an introvert walk into a room which one tells you what they are first?

None; the person who hasn't watched "a single episode of Game of Thrones" beat them to it.

The First Rule of Introvert Club is...

Don’t speak.

If half the population really are introverts...

... why haven't I met any?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What'd I say to my introvert friends who were jerking off alone in separate rooms?

"C'mon, pull yourselves together!"

You think you are introverted?

Wait until you never meet me.

How does an Introverted hypochondriac feel during the Corona virus outbreak?

Validated.

How much does the average introvert weigh?

Not enough to break the ice.

I know an introverted entrepreneur in the coal industry.

He mined his own business.

Introverts Rise Up!

Separately, in your own homes!

Why did the introvert polish his shoes regularly?

So he could look at others' faces.

In a conference i asked the crowd “all the introverts raise the hand”

Nobody raised their hand

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the introvert cross the road?

Fuck you leave me alone

I'm writing a book about introverts.

It's not coming out any time soon.

College life for introverts

1st year - People are so good to me. I feel I am respected a lot! Friends are bliss!

2nd year - People are distancing from me. I guess they don't like me. I've to find new people I suppose.

3rd year - Should I change my attitude to get friends? I don't know why I get cheated everytime ...

As an introvert I’ve always wanted to star in a sitcom

Most of your social interaction occurs with the people you live with and lasts about 21 minutes a day.

How do you pump up a room full of shy introverts?

"LETS GET READY TO MUMBLE!!!"

What's the difference between an introverted vegan and an extraverted vegan?

It doesn't matter; you're gonna find out either way.

Track and field is perfect for introverts.

The goal is the be there the shortest time possible.

Why are negative parabolas so introverted?

They have a hard time opening up

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't the two introverts go camping?

Because it's two fucking in tents.

How many introverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why does everything have to be a group activity?


[Thanks to /u/rethnor](http://www.reddit.com/r/introvert/comments/26mqge/joke_how_many_introverts_does_it_take_to_screw_in/)

Why did the introverted mushroom decide to go to more parties?

Because everyone told him he was a fungi

How do you tell if an engineer is an introvert or an extrovert?

If they are an introvert, they look at their shoes when they talk to you. If they are an extrovert, they look at your shoes when they talk to you.


I heard this from my construction professor and thought it was funny enough to share.

I was going to tell you a joke about introverts, but you wouldn't get it.

It's an inside joke.

Schools should have a class designed for introverts...

*anti-social studies*

Why aren't there any introverted suicide bombers?

They have a hard time sharing what's inside with strangers.

Did you hear about the golf club for introverts?

They had to close within the first year because nobody showed up.

I was named Chief Speaker at the Society of Introverts.

Thank God no-one showed up.

Did you hear about the overweight introvert who thought he had won the hot dog eating contest?

Turns out he was just a bit shy.

Attention

I'm such an introvert that if I ever have to draw attention I draw it on paper

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two explosions walk down the street...

Two explosions walk down the street when an implosion silently walks past them. The first explosion says to the other explosion: „Fucking introverts“

An Irish lad just graduating school embarks on his career in business.

Found employment in a nice village. Being a bit of an introvert, took him a few months to venture into the local pub. Asked the bartender for 3 pints, and he took them back into a dark corner table, drank the 3 and left. After a few days, when he ordered his usual 3, the barkeep said "Ya know lad, I...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.