A drunken man stumbles upon a baptism in the River Jordan
The priest is standing there, dunking people's heads underwater,and when they emerged he would ask if they'd found Jesus.
The drunk wanders down to the river to join in, and when it gets to his turn, the priest dunks his head under the water. when he gets back up, he asks the man if he had f...
There was a fire at the plant where they make Nike Jordans.
Over a thousand soles were lost.
When I was a young, I loved basketball and was a huge Michael Jordan fan. But I wasn't sure if I had enough talent to become a pro player. Until one day I saw this huge poster. In the poster Jordan points at me and the caption reads "JUST DO IT". I got tears in my eyes and decided "I will do IT! ".
That's how I became a web developer.
Michael Jordan is wheeled into the hospital for emergency surgery.
He’s brought into the operation room and meets his doctors, but he notices something strange. In the corner, there’s a stage being set up. An anesthesiologist is repeating jokes to herself and wiping her brow. The MRI techs are handling a soundboard in the back. The head surgeon is tuning a guitar b...
What does Michael Jordan and Melania Trump have in common?
The both made a fortune playing with orange balls
Remember in elementary school how they had those motivational posters?
"You'll miss 100% of the shots you don't take"
Now look at us, school shootings every week.
Thanks alot Michael Jordan.
Wh did people in the NBA think Michael Jordan was conceited?
Because he was always putting on Airs.
Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, and Dennis Rodman are set to compete against each other in a wordplay competition in Spain
The Punning Of The Bulls
Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, a priest, and a hippie are on a plane together when suddenly it starts going down.
There are only four parachutes but the pilot takes one and jumps out. Michael Jordan says "I'm the greatest basketball player ever, I should get to live." He grabs one and jumps out. Bill Gates says, "I'm the smartest man in the world, I should live." He grabs a pack and jumps out. The priest turns ...
What do Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan have in common?
They were ridiculed when they played in the minors.
up on the oil rigs
so these two albertans, jordan and teddy, are working away up north, on a long stint. jordan says "hey teddy, whats the first thing you're gonna do when you get home" and teddy replies "I'm gonna go straight upstairs and tear off my wifes panties!" and jordan says "oh yeah??" and teddy replies "ye...
What do princes wear on their feet?
What are Air Jordans called in Norway?
I was Hungary so Iran to the store to get some Turkey
Which I cooked in Greece, and served with a side of Chile, which I ate with my friends Jordan and Chad. Sudanly we had Togo because we were Ghana get in trouble because we didn’t Finnish paying. But I’ve Benin trouble before, there was Norway they were going to catch me, I Congo much faster than the...
Hi guys I just picked up some new Jordans!
Then i saw the price tag and put them back on the shelf
What does Michael Jordan do in Krispy Kreme?
Dunk in Donuts
[OC] Micheal Jordan's origin story.
Micheal Jordan loved basketball growing up. He was good at it too. Every day at school, he'd be playing basketball and everyone wanted him on thier team.
The only catch was that, he could only play B-Ball at school. There were no courts near his house. So... Micheal's father, whom I will hen...
What do Germans call Micheal Jordans sneakers?
Herr Jordan's AirJordans
Why does Jordan Peterson hate "The Jetsons"?
Because they're post-modernists
A frog is sitting alone on the Jordan River's banks...
A Frog is sitting alone on the Jordan River's banks, when a long comes a Scorpion.
The Scorpion says "Frog, I wish to cross this river, would you please carry me across on your back?"
The Frog responds, "We are natural enemies, why should I do that? ...
What does Michael Jordan like to put on his toast for breakfast?
My dad is like the Michael Jordan of dads.
He has a serious gambling problem.
Michael Jordan tried escaping his nickname in Germany...
but they still called him Herr Jordan.
This is a joke I heard back in 2000
George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wan...
Why do women love Jordan Spieth?
Because he came second.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Farm kid writes letter home after joining Marines....
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am ge...
I know a sure way to stop the murder hornets
Just have Michael Jordan take over ownership.
Could you imagine a game about jokes that have item drops and the rarest item in the game is known as “the punchline” which has a drop chance of 1/100000?
Friend: “hey Jordan, what you up to?”
Me: “I’ve been playing this joke game for two years and I still haven’t gotten the punchline.”
The German National Basketball team just signed an exclusive sponsorship deal with Nike
From now on the only sneakers they'll be wearing are Herr Jordan's
A loyal employee, Skip, was bragging that he knew almost anyone in the world personally
Naturally, his boss took him up on the offer. He took him to a Chicago Bulls game, and walking into the tunnel, Michael Jordan recognized him and said "what's up Skip?". His boss naturally was impressed. So he took it a step further and went to the White House. President Bush immediately recognized ...
The guy that played Killmonger in Black Panther is great
He's the Michael Jordan of acting.
So a priest walks by a bunch of children standing around a dog.
> Alright, I can't claim this joke. I took it from the chaplain of the New Orleans Saints doing a workshop. Check out his [talk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIG72_LO7wc), he's pretty cool. www.fathertony.com
There were a couple of kids that were laughing and standing around a dog that...
Match the middle eastern country to its sworn enemy...
- Bahrain - Lebanon - Qatar - United Arab Emirates - Egypt - Syria - Jordan - Iran - Iraq - Saudi Arabia - Algeria - Morocco - Yemen - Oman - Kuwait
Two guys are watching their sons play baseball
The first father goes, “Did you see that, my son got an in the Park home run. He’s so much better at baseball than your son.”
The second father annoyed that his friend had insulted his son responded. “My son is the Michael Jordan of baseball.
“But he sucks at baseball?”
So this guy, Rob, is at an interview...
And on his resume, he claims that he is friends with almost everyone in the world. The boss, who's interviewing him, clearly doesn't believe him.
"If you know everyone, then hook me up with Obama."
"Oh yeah! Sure! Obama and I went to middle school together! I'll call him up"
Footballer Dwight Yorke just got denied entry to the US due to an Iranian stamp in his passport.
Makes a change at least, most of his troubles are from briefly entering Jordan.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Exam for athletes
The following is a college entrance exam for athletes.
Time Limit: 3 Days.
Write Your Name: ________________________________________ (20 point bonus if spelled correctly).
1. What language is spoken in Germany?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire wi...
1000 men entered Jordan last night
She said she will be fine after a bit of rest
In Israel, we just want peace.
A piece of Jordan, a piece of Egypt, a piece of Lebanon...
A preacher walks into a bar.
The preacher notices a drunk sitting at the bar and he strikes up a conversation. "Hello sir, I was wondering if you have found Jesus yet." The drunk looks up and replies "Nope!" So the preacher grabs him by the collar and drags him out he door and down to the creek. He then quickly submerges the ma...
Studying for MCAT when I heard this Joke!
I was studying for the MCAT while listening to an audiobook for a chapter on the endocrine system. Anyways, at the end of the audiobook the guy signs of saying: "Hey John, how do you make a hormone anyway?"... "That's easy Jordan, you just don't pay her." Loled so hard!