This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I swear autocorrect is amazing.

No that's not what I said, I meant to say autocorrect is wonderful.

No! That's not it either. Autocorrect is a piece of technology I couldn't live without. Praise autocorrect.

Oh you gotta be kidding me. No one likes you autocorrect, they love you.

I didn't even type that.
<...

Why did the Mexican push his wife off teh cliff?

tequila

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

guy goes to the doctor ..

a guy goes to teh doctor .

doc says " well what seems to be the problem?"



guy says " its my elbow doc , its killing me !"



doc says " well a normal visit would have a $50 co-pay , but we have a new machine that can diagnose you just by peeing in a cup and the co-p...

A woman and a man standing in an elevator...

The man asks: "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to donate my blood"
"How much do they pay for that" - asks the man
"About $30"
"Wow, all that blood for $30? I'm going to donate sperm now, and the sperm bank is giving me $100". Frustrated, the woman leaves the elevator.
The n...

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Two men with a feather fetish

Two strangers, and Englishman and a Scotsman, are sitting at a bar chatting. They've both had a few drinks, so the conversation gets a bit more personal. It turns out they both have the same strange fetish—tickling a woman's ass with a feather. The Scotsman says, "Aye, ah luv it, but ah can never fi...

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A joke my dad told me once.

A man goes to visit a city for business. He realizes that he's going to have to spend the night there, so he decides to stay in a hotel. He arrives at a hotel and they tell him they have no available rooms. The man insists so the manager tells him "ok there is 1 room available, but it doesnt have a ...

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scottish man all board a plane to America....

As they leave the airport from Heathrow and fly to america the Englishman has a bright idea. He turns around and says to the other two of his friends, "why don't we throw some money out of the plane for good luck". Brilliant idea they both turn around and say. So the Englishman goes first. He throws...

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A group of tourists are backpacking around Scotland...

They stop in a small town to rest for the day and find the local pub. They are all students of history so they ask the bartender about the history of the town.

"Oh, ye'll be wantin' teh speak teh Ol' Angus in the corner," the barkeep says. "He practically built the whole village himself!"
...

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