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Inserting Jokes

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Read it slowly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, 'What's your hurry?'

She replied, 'I'm late for work.'

'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'

'I'm a Rectum Stretcher,' she responded.

The cop stammered, 'A what?............

'A Rectum Stretcher!'

'And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'

'Well,' she said, 'I start by inse...

As I was inserting my third battery into my new toy gift...

My dad remarked that this wasn’t the kind of puppy that needed batteries.

Merry Christmas!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man had to visit a hospital after inserting five toy horses up his anus...

... the doctors described his condition as stable.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After incorrectly inserting my pin 3 times, I heard the unmistakable pained groans of my wife from behind me.

This voodoo doll is fucking amazing!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The rectum stretcher

Just as a car crosses over a bridge, a cop jumps out from behind a bush and signals the driver to the pull over. The cop walks over to the car window and says "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

The driver responds "No sir I do not, but it couldn't have been much faster than 50......

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went for my prostate examination this morning.After inserting a finger into my arse and having a good feel around, the doctor looked at me and said,

"that should be my finger, not yours"

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