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Cleanliness Jokes

Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your shoes on the mat as you came in?

New Employee: Yes sir.



Boss: We are also very keen on truthfulness. There's no mat.

Why do they say cleanliness is next to godliness?

Because every time i talk dirty to my wife she tells me to go to hell.

Cleanliness is next to godliness

This dictionary was a complete waste of money.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My town is in trouble after hosting a feline grooming competition where they gave an award for the cleanliness of your cat's rectum.

It's a cat-ass-trophy.

A man wants a pet

A man wants a pet. So he visits his local pet shop and inquires .

Man: “I want an obedient pet. One that would do anything I ask of it no matter what”.
The store clerk: “I know exactly what you need”.

The clerk steps out back for a few minutes and returns with a tiny box containin...

Cleanliness

Why did the doctor's hands turn into devils?
He was using hand satanizer

A man dies and finds himself in front of God. He sees Jesus sitting at his right hand and a janitor with a mop sitting to his left.

“Who are you?” the man asks the janitor.



“I’m Cleanliness.”

With all the NSFW jokes here lately, we could use a nice clean joke

A pharmaceutical salesman was staying at a bed and breakfast in a small town while on a business trip. The B&B was run by a kindly old gentleman and advertised three square "southern" meals a day and a relaxing country feel.

While the salesman was eating his breakfast, he noticed what app...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men are in a public restroom

The first man, from Harvard, finishes his business at the urinal and walks to the sink. He uses plenty of soap and hot water and announces to the room, "At Harvard, they teach us that cleanliness is next to godliness."

The second man finishes and moves to the sink. He uses minimal soap and wa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Dwarf, a Human, and an Elf are walking down a trail.

A Dwarf, a Human, and an Elf are walking down a trail beside a stream when they stop to piss. Afterwards the human takes out some soap and cleans his hands "cleanliness is next to godliness," he says to the others. The elf takes some leaves off a nearby tree and wipes his hands with them "we elves h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Russian, a Frenchman, and a Canadian were in a bathroom together

They all finish their business and happen to be at the sinks at the same time. The Russian, noticing the two other men at the sink, says to them,

"In Russia, we were taught to be very conservative with our resources and therefore only use the amount of soap that is absolutely necessary."
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman and her family are sitting in a nice, upscale restaurant...

A woman and her family are sitting in a nice, upscale restaurant.

Everyone's looking at their menus, when the waiter comes by to get their drink orders. Each orders their drinks, and as the waiter is walking away, the woman notices a spoon in his chest pocket.

*Hm... That's strange* ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Golden Tong

A young couple decided to try the new Chinese restaurant in town called "The Golden Tong". After being seated the waiter comes by with a tray of cups, he takes a pair of golden tongs and picks up each cup and places it front of them. Then he uses the tongs to pick up the tea pot and our them each a ...

An aging hotel inspector was performing his final inspection on a luxury hotel before his retirement.

He had arrived at the joint the day before, and had already slept in a room to analyze how clean and comfortable they were. When he had woken up, he went into the bathroom to check its functionality and cleanliness, and continued on to the main dining hall after.

Upon arrival, he saw they we...

The slippers

This is more like a funny story not a joke to me. I'm not a native English speaker, so my English is not that well.

Madurese, a tribe from Indonesia, are known to be very religious but, unfortunately, bad tempered and proud.

(OP is Madurese) It goes like this:



One day, a...

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