Ageing: Not to brag, but I just went into another room, and remembered why I went in there

Granted, it was the bathroom, but still ...

Regular naps prevent ageing

Especially if taken while driving

Ageing has caused me to need glasses.

Glasses of beer. Glasses of wine. And glasses of bourbon.

Grocery Shopping

Fred and Brenda go to the local supermarket and as they're looking around Fred sees a massive pile of lager cans with the sign '12 for a tenner' on it. He rushes over and adds a twelve pack to their trolley.

'oh no you don't. We can't afford that. Put em back' says Brenda

'But it's 12 ...

I’ve opened up a gym helping ageing rock bands get back into shape. It’s going okay so far...

Just working out the Kinks.

An ageing maple and a gnarled oak were standing on the crest of a hill overlooking a verdant glen.

"You see that young sapling down there," said the oak. "I'm thinking it's a son of a birch."

"No," said the maple. "I'd wager it's a son of a beech."

Just then a ruddy woodpecker landed on a branch nearby.

"Hey Woody," said the maple. "Would you do us a favour and fly down to th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) "At one point," boasted the ageing rock star, "I was having affairs simultaneously with Ms Estefan, Ms Gaynor and Ms Steinem!"

"Sounds like a good time!" replied the interviewer.

"Good? It was fucking Glorias!"

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