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Scotland recently became the first country to offer free sanitary products to all women.

Makes sense since all their politicians are just self-serving cunts.

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If tampons are sanitary napkins...

How unsanitary must regular napkins be?

Once a half wit homeless man saw a lady buying sanitary pads.

Man: X'cuse me ma'am if you could share some of those bread with me I'll be very grateful.


Lady: Sure. I'll come back tomorrow with the jam on it.

What do you call a Velcro sanitary towel?

A bloody rip off.

Darth Vader built an entire Galactic Empire...

Wearing protective gear in sanitary environment.

But it was all destroyed by a whiny brat without a mask who refused to stay home with his aunt and uncle.

One day, a vampire met God.

God granted him 3 wishes.

Vampire said, “well, always wearing black is too boring, I’d like to be all white. Then, I want to have wings. It feels weird to fly without wings. And most importantly, I want to be able to suck blood all the time.”

So God turned him into a sanitary pad.

How do you upset a female archaeologist?

Hand her a used sanitary towel and ask her which period it is from.

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Three Men Were Using Urinals In a Public Restroom

The first man finished relieving himself, zipped up, strolled to the sinks and proceeded to wash his hands, using plenty of soap and water and doing a splendidly thorough job.
As he was drying his hands (with lots of paper towels), he loftily announced to no one in particular "At Harvard, I lear...

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A mother sends her little son out to get some edible silver balls for the top of a birthday cake...

The son misunderstands, and comes back with a bag of very small steel ball bearings. Being so tiny, nobody notices them as they're swallowed from the top of the cake. That is, until next morning...

The elder daughter comes downstairs and says "Mum, I was so uncomfortable this morning. I had...

Whats red and white and sits in a tree?

A sanitary owl

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Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons

where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave thinks to himself, "Nurses are known to be hot to trot." The second man married a telephone operator. Dave thinks to himself, "Telephone operators have sexy voices." The third man married a school teacher. Dave ...

A guy was playing golf.

A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost. He saw a lady up ahead of him and went to her and said, "Can you please help me, I don't know what Hole I'm on."
She told him "You are one hole behind me. I'm on 7; you're on 6."
He thanked her and continued playing golf.
Later, he got lost ag...

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Jeff the Bellboy

Three couples got married and spent their honeymoons at the same hotel, where they were all attended to by Jeff the Bellboy.

The first man married a nurse.

Jeff showed them to their room, all the while thinking to himself, "Lucky guy! Nurses are known to be hot to trot."

The ...

Living in Greece..

Living in "Greece " now is like being a Sanitary Napkin.

You're in the most beautiful place but in a bad period..!!

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It was a snowy Christmas Eve, many years ago, and Santa Claus was having a bad night.

The elves had been hard hit by a terrible sneezing virus. Many of the toys had to be cleaned off with sanitary wipes, and production was days behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus surprised Santa with some good news. "My mother is coming to visit, and she can stay the whole week!"

Mutterin...

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Told by a steward on VIA's famous Canadian train:

A woman eating in a restaurant noticed that her waiter carried a spoon in his back pocket, so she asked him about it. “It’s to retrieve pieces of cork that fall into wine glasses. Using this spoon is much more sanitary than using my fingers.”

Later, the woman noticed a string poking out of th...

Two roaches

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant."I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole pla...

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