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Homicidal Jokes

What does a Homicidal Lumberjack smell like?

Axe Body Spray

What's one way to turn a mild-mannered cleaner into a raging homicidal maniac?

Tell them, "You missed a spot!"

A Suicidal person and a Homicidal person are roomed together in a psyche ward

The homicidal person says "we share a common interest"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A homicidal rapist is holding hands with a little girl.

They are walking through a dense and eerie forest at night. Sounds of owls, wolves and other animals echos around. "This place is really scary sir" says the girl. The man looks around. The sound of wolves send chills down he's spine. He looks at the girl and says: "Yeah. Imagine me that I have to re...

A homicidal and a suicidal patent are put in the same room in a psych ward.

The suicidal person says "well that makes 2 people that want me dead."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between a homicidal necrophiliac and COVID-19?

One keeps fucking you after its taken your breath away.

Police are asking the public to be on the look out for a homicidal chiropractor.

The Chief reports that the best line of defense is to watch your back.

What did the homicidal vegetarian say?

I would kale for some salad.

How many parents does it take to raise a homicidal maniac?

Two, then one, then none

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I said the wrong word, and rolled with it

Convo with a friend

Me: I was homicidal back then alright but Im alright now, I got full
control of my emotions.

Friend: Hahaha, maybe you ment suicidal.

Me: Did I fuckin stutter? I know what I said.

Friend: .....

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