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Murderous Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Murderous neighbor

A judge asks a defendant to please stand.
"You are charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw."

From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, "You lying bastard!"

"Silence in the court!" The judge turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a...

What do you call jail for murderous pastas?

The state pennetentiary

What do you do to a murderous egg?

You egg-secute it!
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What do you call a murderous metre?

A killometre!

(Cheesy ba-dum-tish sound effect plays)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Saw "IT" last night

Far less "computer networking" and so much more "murderous clowning" than anticipated

Did you hear about the deaf man who escaped a murderous gang of mute mime artists?

Yeah, he saw them coming.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When it gets dark, I have a supernatural ability to detect when and at what altitude murderous clowns ejaculate.

I can feel IT cumming in the air tonight.

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