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Murderous Jokes

What do you call jail for murderous pastas?

The state pennetentiary

What do you do to a murderous egg?

You egg-secute it!

What do you call a murderous metre?

A killometre!

(Cheesy ba-dum-tish sound effect plays)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Murderous neighbor

A judge asks a defendant to please stand.
"You are charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw."

From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, "You lying bastard!"

"Silence in the court!" The judge turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When it gets dark, I have a supernatural ability to detect when and at what altitude murderous clowns ejaculate.

I can feel IT cumming in the air tonight.

Did you hear about the deaf man who escaped a murderous gang of mute mime artists?

Yeah, he saw them coming.

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