UPJOKE
sanguinarybloodybloody-mindedmurderousruthlessloathsomeheartlessmalevolentgoryvengefulundeadamoralcowardlybarbarousdemented

Bloodthirsty Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is flying a plane over the Amazon, when he suddenly crashes….

But he’s ok, don’t worry. He’s staggering through the jungle when he suddenly realizes he’s surrounded by bloodthirsty savages. And he thinks, “Man, I am totally fucked.”

“No”, a voice booms out from the heavens, “You’re not fucked.”

The voice continues, “Listen to me very carefully. G...

Breaking news: Rare time traveling bloodthirsty Fire elemental wolves spotted in Russia!

In Soviet Russia, the hot dogs eat you.

An explorer in the deepest Amazon

An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by what appears to be a bloodthirsty group of cannibals.
Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm screwed."
There is a ray of light from the sky above and a voice booms out: "No, you are not screw...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was crossing the jungle when he got ambushed by a group of natives.

They had fearsome tattoos and bloodthirsty expressions in their faces and in front of them their terrible chieftain, a man the size of a mountain.

"Well, now I'm fucked," says the man quietly, when suddenly gusts of wind start blowing in the leaves and a mysterious voice whispers in his ear:<...

What's the difference between a Jihadi and a vampire.

That eventually one will stop being bloodthirsty.

My go-to joke...

500 bricks on a plane and one falls out, how many are left ?

499.



How do you put an elephant in the fridge ?

Open the door, put in the elephant, clse the door.



How do you put a giraffe in the fridge ?

Open the door, take out the elephant, put in the...

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a New Yorker are walking through the Amazon.

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a New Yorker are walking through the Amazon, when suddenly they are surrounded by bloodthirsty cannibals.

The tribe leader approaches them and says, "Gentlemen, I have good news and I have bad news. The bad news is we're going to kill you, gut you, and turn y...

Genghis Khan stumbles across a great palace in Northern China

It was a magnificent golden palace, with beautiful ornaments covering every surface as it towered over the surrounding landscape with its size. The steps leading up to the front entrance were crafted from the finest marble, the pillars holding up the ceiling sculpted with the rarest jade. It was tru...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Grandpa, tell the story again when you broke a duck's neck with your erection at your brother's wedding!"

Well, children, the year was 1922. I had nothing more than a flatcap, a shovel, and my favorite pint glass to my name. It was around the time where cars were a brand new luxury and a lass would let you put a thumb in her bum just to honk the horn. Well as luck would have it, I was out peat poaching ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.