UPJOKE
singlesolesolitaryonlylonesomealonelonelyunaccompaniedoneanotherunsocialansingularthefifth

Loner Jokes

I'm not a loner.

Well, I've never heard anyone ever call me one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Englishman was very confused by what his loner teenage son had done

His son had made a 70s style carpet out of raven corpses. He confronted his son, who replied “sorry dad, thought you meant this when you said I should go out and shag some birds.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you cross a mentally ill loner with a society that abandons him and treats him like trash?

You get what you fucking deserve! *BANG*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An awkward loner goes to a pub.

An awkward loner, sick of being lonely, makes the effort to go to a pub.

It's crowded and noisy but he decides to stay and have a counter lunch.

Having made his choice from the menu over the bar, he pushes his way to counter and attracts the the attention of a rather attractive barmai...

My friends always call me a loner, but I don't listen.

What does my imagination know about my social life?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are uncircumcised people loners?

Because they're complete dicks.

I'm not saying I'm a lazy loner.

But I didn't even get an invite to my own birthday.

My friend just told me that reddit is for loners....

Anyways, I have a question, if I have a body that I want to get rid off, what should I do with it? (Asking for a friend).

A socially awkward loner finally landed a job as a mailman. When the people on his route saw a new face, they instinctively wanted to know who he was and he always gave the same response.

Long time lurker, first time poster.

I need help finding a Tim Burton movie

I Googled "Tim Burton movie where Johnny Depp plays a quirky, androgynous loner," and Google told me to be more specific.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 Girls 1 Nerd

A kind of nerdy, loner-type guy finally builds up the courage to talk to two hot women. As he's walking up he's trying to think of something funny and interesting to say when he gets to them he blurts out "97% of women masturbate in the shower!" The two women look at him oddly but are intrigued an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I sexually identify as a measurement of speed

Cuz I'm a loner and wanna km/s

Once upon a time there was a great wizard.

His name was Theaddus.

He had helped solve many people's problems.
People rewarded him for his help.
With all this money he had bought many talking items to spend his time with.

On one of his trips he had found the perfect item for a loner like him. A staff made of fir.

It...

Why are rental cars so depressed all the time?

Because they're loners.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny lost his eye in a tragic accident

But being from a very poor family, he was unable to get a glass replacement. Instead, he was fitted with a wooden eye, which ruined what there was of his high school social life. No one would talk to him, and he had no friends. Finally senior year rolled around, and he found himself alone in the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys go out to play golf

Just as they are teeing off, a lone player asks if he could join and make the group a four-some. After a couple of holes one of the golfers asks the mysterious man "so what you do for a living?" to which the loner replies "Me? I'm a hitman."

At first the other men were skeptical, but then th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Adam's in the Garden of Eden with God.

God begins to notice that lately Adam has seemed morose while naming the animals. He notices that all of the animals stick together well, but that Adam is kind of a loner and realizes that he must be lonely.

One day God tells Adam that he has a proposition for him. "Look, Adam," God begins,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man's best friend

A man decides to get a mascot and heads to the pet store. He began to walk up and down the aisles looking at the different animals available but found fault with each. Dogs needed to be walked constantly. Cats are loners. Ferrets smell. Fish are boring. Snakes are, well, snakes. After roaming around...

Reminiscing my life 5 years ago

Was a bit of a loner, not that i kept to myself or anything like that, i just couldnt manage to make friends no matter how hard I tried.

My 24th birthday came and decided to go out
and celebrate, on my own of course.

Met some group of friends that night, we got along pretty well an...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.