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Cide Jokes

A Engineering Student commited su*cide by jumping off a building. He had a lot of potential...

But sadly that turned into Kinetic Energy.

What do you call it when someone kills a chickpea?

Hummus-cide.

A man was found dead in vat of ground chickpeas.

Police are considering it a hummus-cide.

What do you call it when someone murders their friend?

Homie cide

I poisoned my wifes pita dip

The police charged me with hummus-cide

my friend was found dead in a drain.

The police said he had killed himself.

"How can you be sure" I asked.

They said "it's clearly sewer-cide"

What is it called when you kill your best friends?

Homie-cide

Why did the chickpea get arrested?

He committed a Hummus-cide

Did you hear about the guy who tried to kill himself by jumping into a manhole?

The authorities called it attempted sewer-cide.

Did you hear about the farmer that called his herd of pigs and ended up being trampled?

Was the first report of sooey-cide in the whole state.

My father was killed by a herd of pigs.

The coroner labeled his death a sooie-cide

What do you call it when a pig is murdered?

A ham-i-cide

Some dude died in the gutter

It was ruled a sewer cide

I killed my best friend last night

I’m in court right now facing charges of homie-cide

Did you hear about the guy they found dead at the Mediterranean restaurant?

Yeah, police are calling it a hummus-cide.

Did you hear about the depressed lactose-intolerant woman?

She committed soya-cide.

What's it called when a pig kills itself?

Soooey!-cide

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chicken walks into a bar..

..and orders five flagons of mead. After the fourth alcoholic beverage, the bartender asks him..

  

"Hey buddy why the long fac..oh wait not a horse lol."

  

The chicken gulps down his fifth drink and laments.

  

"You see, that ott...

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