UPJOKE
massacreassassinationinfanticideslaughterhomicidalassassinateslayermurderessassassinhomicidemanslaughterslaykillermurderousmurder

A Engineering Student commited su*cide by jumping off a building. He had a lot of potential...

But sadly that turned into Kinetic Energy.
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What do you call it when someone kills a chickpea?

Hummus-cide.
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A man was found dead in vat of ground chickpeas.

Police are considering it a hummus-cide.
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What do you call it when someone murders their friend?

Homie cide
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I poisoned my wifes pita dip

The police charged me with hummus-cide
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my friend was found dead in a drain.

The police said he had killed himself.

"How can you be sure" I asked.

They said "it's clearly sewer-cide"
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What is it called when you kill your best friends?

Homie-cide
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Why did the chickpea get arrested?

He committed a Hummus-cide
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Did you hear about the guy who tried to kill himself by jumping into a manhole?

The authorities called it attempted sewer-cide.
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Did you hear about the farmer that called his herd of pigs and ended up being trampled?

Was the first report of sooey-cide in the whole state.
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My father was killed by a herd of pigs.

The coroner labeled his death a sooie-cide
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What do you call it when a pig is murdered?

A ham-i-cide
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Some dude died in the gutter

It was ruled a sewer cide
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I killed my best friend last night

I’m in court right now facing charges of homie-cide
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Did you hear about the guy they found dead at the Mediterranean restaurant?

Yeah, police are calling it a hummus-cide.
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Did you hear about the depressed lactose-intolerant woman?

She committed soya-cide.
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What's it called when a pig kills itself?

Soooey!-cide
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chicken walks into a bar..

..and orders five flagons of mead. After the fourth alcoholic beverage, the bartender asks him..

  

"Hey buddy why the long fac..oh wait not a horse lol."

  

The chicken gulps down his fifth drink and laments.

  

"You see, that ott...

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