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Haunting Jokes

I think "Scarborough Fair" is Simon & Garfunkel's most haunting song

To this day, I still wonder, "*Did* Parsley save Rosemary in time?"

We had a haunting.

One place where I lived had unusual sounds at night. It sounded sort of like hundreds of chickens, but very faint and only under the darkest moon. Turns out the place had been built over an old egg and chicken farm, which had become haunted with the noises of the deceased chickens.

We had a ...

What do you call a chicken haunting your home?

A Poultrygeist.

There's a rumor an evil spirit is haunting houses nearby

They say that if it enters your house, your spelling starts to worsen. But that is only suprestition, ther is no whey deth e gost Ken du sash è t1ng, rait?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my drill sergeants favorite stories

A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he he...

They finally got rid of the ghost that was haunting my local pub.

I guess he overdid it with the boos

I had to call a psychic to my house due to strange sightings of a chicken’s spirit haunting my home.

He called it a poultrygeist.

A man moves into a haunted house

After several nights of ghosts keeping him awake with their moaning and moving furniture around the house he calls an exorcist. A priest eventually comes round, performs some incantations, and sprinkles holy water around. The man was grateful for the priest's help with this haunting but says that ...

What do you call a movie about Matt Damon haunting a carpet store?

The Mat Demon

A psychic told me that the spirit of an old Italian chef is haunting my house.

I'm not worried though, I ain't alfredo no ghost.

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