I don't see why people say that emo kid doesn't like to hangout

I seen them hanging all day.

I went to my depressed friend's house to hangout.....

....but he already started without me.

Chemistry joke

Proton and neutron were chilling in the nucleus one day, then proton asks neutron: “Why you only hangout with me in here instead of electron?”

Neutron replies: “He was too negative to begin with.”

Anybody out there interested in having occasional platonic hangout sessions?

Asking for a friend.

Why do teenage girls hangout in odd-sized groups at Starbucks?

Because they can't even.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I thought being an electrician would be cool.

Getting to hangout with a bunch of strippers and dikes all day long.


But really you're just grabbing and twisting nuts all day.

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One Saturday night, John and William conspired to steal a crate of rolls from the baker

As they wondered where to take their stolen loot, John suggested the cemetery, as no clear headed person would dare to take a Saturday night stroll among the graves.

Upon arriving at this questionable hangout, the gate proved to be quite a cumbersome obstacle to overcome. In the mad scramble ...

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Ryan Gosling went to live in Saudi Arabia for a year.

He and a local Saudi girl fell in love.

The girl would secretly sneak out of her house in the middle of the night without a male companion to hangout with Ryan. They would go to Ryan's place and make love for the whole night. Ryan would drop her back before the dawn. She would quietly sneak i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty-one year olds?

You get to hangout with Prince Andrew!

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Two Soldiers Walk Into A Bar...

It’s the height of the Vietnam War, and deep in the jungles U.S. Army Privates Chip and Dan have just been promoted to Sergeants.

Now Chip hasn’t always been the brightest bulb, and he’s been known to need some time to process big changes.

As Chip and Dan are doing their rounds one aft...

Teacher makes a call to her student to inform: "I'm busy tomorrow, so our class will be off"

The student makes a call to his dad immediately: "I'm off tomorrow lets go to picnic!"

The dad makes a call to his secretary immediately: " I'm busy tomorrow, lets postpone our date to the next day!"

The secretary makes a call to her husband: "Honey, i'm not going out on a business tri...

Why do thieves prefer to steal Android phones over iPhones?

Because they like to Hangout and not FaceTime.

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So, there's these two tomatoes who are best friends ...

Ever since they grew up on the vine together, they've been inseparable. They played little league together, they had home room together all through high school, they even double dated to prom and shared a limo. As time went on, though, they slowly lost touch. During university they slowly lost touch...

What do you call a group of depressed teens?

A hangout

I added Paul Walker as a friend on Xbox live

But all he ever does is hangout on the dashboard.

Our two new mods, ElderCunningham and iBleeedorange

Hey guys,

Not too long ago we started advertising new moderator positions for /r/jokes, and after receiving a bunch of submissions, we found our two candidates.

I've asked them to write up a brief introduction for themselves.

First up is /u/iBleeedorange, who also mods /r/diablo...

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Three best friends have known eachother since high school...

They ended up going to the same college together, and getting a job at the same factory together. Bill, Jacob, and Mark were always known to hangout together, they were inseparable.

One day, the factory catches on fire, and once all of the factory workers regroup, they do accountability. Two...

Halloween at an Elementary school

All the kids had showed up to school wearing costumes, and their teacher decided that she was going to give a special prize to the spookiest costume among the bunch.

Teacher: Why that's a lovely ladybug costume Susie, though it's not the spooky spirit we need here.

Susie: Aww shucks....

SEO Expert walks into a bar...

An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, beer garden, hangout, lounge, night club, mini bar, tavern, pub, beer, wine, whiskey...

Sam, Harry and Stuttering Joe

Sam, who wanted to impress his friends, bought a new Scooter motorcyle. Deciding he wanted to show off his new toy he drove to meet his friends Harry and Joe. Upon arriving at their usual hangout spot he was greeted by laughter by his two friends who thought a scooter was goofy looking and incapable...

A fisherman catches a magic newt in his net

The newt is startled at first but he looks around and sees that the net is actually rather large. Huge in fact, it seems to cover the entire pond! Realising that this isn't really a problem after all, he continues about his usual magic newt daily business. He swims around for a bit, visiting all of ...

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FACE DOWN ASS UP. THAT'S THE WAY...

Flamingos hangout sometimes, not really sure why.

A man sees a sign that reads "lose weight now!"...

...with a number listed on the bottom. The man had been feeling a little over weight so he decided to call the sign. A woman answered the phone and told him to be at the local hangout the following morning.

The next morning comes and the man is at the local hangout when a woman walks up to h...

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Hanging from a tree

A man takes a woman with no legs on a date. When the date was over they went to hangout by this tree. They start talking and the girl wanted to fuck so he picks her up and she grabs hold of a limb on the tree. When they finish he drives her home and they see her father sitting on the porch. He says ...

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