UPJOKE
lingerloafloiterloungelurktarryfootlelallygaglollygagbelurchprowldownupmess about

Why can't you hang around after a yoga class?

Because, none must stay.

Why don’t koalas hang around with all of the other bears?

Because they don’t meet the Koala-fications!

Why do cannibals hang around the Catholic school?

It's a good source of pro-teens.

how do you call those guys who hang around with musicians all the time?

Drummers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A penis has a wonderful life.....for the optimists!

His two closest friends hang around and constantly update him on the weather.

His best friend is a pussy.

He never has to comb his hair.

He can quadruple in size and stand up if he really wants to see something.

He can take over all his hosts functions and thoughts whenev...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy sees a sign in front of a house that says "Talking Dog: $10:

He walks up to the gate, and there's a beautiful labrador retriever in the front yard.

"Hello, how are you?" says the dog.

"Oh my goodness. You really can talk!"

"Yep, sure can," says the dog.

"So what's your story?" he asks.

"Well, I discovered I could talk when ...

What did the necklace say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I’ll hang around.

Have you heard about the new super sensitive condoms?

They hang around after the guy leaves and talk to the woman.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What Does The USS Enterprise And A Roll Of Toilet Paper Have In Common?

They both hang around Uranus looking for Klingons!

Billie Piper has ruled out a return to Dr Who and adventures in the TARDIS...

She said if she wanted to hang around with an eccentrically-dressed know-all who constantly got them into misadventures, she'd remarry Lawrence Fox

A hat and a tie are out running

The tie gets tired and says he needs a break.
The hat replies "Don't worry. You hang around and I'll go on ahead."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?

Prostitutes don’t hang around all day after you nail them.

I hate this show.

It’s so poorly written. They introduce so many new characters, it’s impossible to keep track. And it seems like some of them hardly do anything, they just hang around and say, like, five lines per episode.

What’s it called? Hang on, let me check.

“Presidential debate.”

When Winnie the Pooh eats honey straight from the jar with his paw, it's cute...

But when I hang around a donkey while wearing nothing but a red t-shirt, someone calls the cops.

I heard prisoners get drunk a lot ...

They hang around bars 24/7.

A Orthodox Jewish man goes to his Rabbi

Man: "Rabbi, what should I do, my son has run off and is hanging around with Shiksen and Goyim."

Rabbi: "So, what do you ask me for? I once had a son, he too ran off to hang around with Shiksen and Goyim."

Man: "And what did you do about it?"

Rabbi: "I prayed to Hashem."
...

Did you hear about the tie and the hat who went hiking?

The tie always liked to hang around, whilst the hat kept going on ahead.

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