Hacked Jokes

I will find you, and I will kill you


Edit: no you won't


Special edit for u/takes_joke_literally , are you happy now?

It's spam

I will find you, and I will kill you.

Edit: I not hacked. Motherland do no such thing. Have good day.

Civilian: Yes, that’s my bother Reese

Officer: Are you sure?

Civilian: [nodding] those are Reese’s Pieces

Because he accepts all the cookies.

cop: do you mind identifying the body \[puts hand on my shoulder\] I have to warn you the body was hacked up.

me: \[tearing up\] yes that's my brother Reese.

cop: you're sure?

me: \[nodding\] those are Reese's Pieces.

That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.

Me, when I remember to floss once a month.

The hacker was so disappointed, he started a fundraiser for me.

For the rest of the joke you need to pay $4.99

Apparently the hackers have stolen some 780GB of data. EA insists no player data has been compromised.

They said it's in the game.

Edit: sorry, I not hacked. Mother Russia do no such thing. Have good day comrades.

I said "prove it" and he sent me the username and password of my email, bank and social media accounts.

I replied "Thank you, that was the easiest Forgot Password process I have ever come across".

My dad asked my 7yo daughter which letter of the alphabet has the most water in it. The answer he was looking for was C.

My daughter immediately shouts out “P!”

Because Jesus WEPt.

Almost a flawless execution, but then he butchered it.

at the Campbell's Soup Company. Do you want me to post them in their entirety,

Or just the condensed version.

My account was hacked the other day. The poster was so polite that he sent me a message to ask me if he could post through my account.

Thank God for the Canadians..

Well, he is in pieces now.

Edit: Just kidding. China is a wonderful place. They treat us well and care very much about our human rights. Thank you.

“Doc, you’re going to re-member me!”

1. No cash.
2. Out of service.

At least someone could remember my password.

Looks like someone found the back door.

I think he’s looking for The Secret of my 6S

I hope they learned their lesson.

I was Putin jail.

A foursome of guys waiting at the men's tee while a foursome of women were hitting from the ladies' tee. The ladies were taking their time. When the final lady was ready to hit her ball, she hacked it 10 feet. Then she went over and whiffed it completely. Then she hacked it another ten feet and f... read more

It won't get to see this.

A guy went for an interview at a big IT company for the position of "Computer Hacking Investigator"

The boss asked him:

So, what makes you suitable for this job?

Well, he replied, I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview.

It’s spam

Is there no end to this Olympic gold Medallist's
talent?