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Undergarment Jokes

What undergarment does a psychologist wear?

A Freudian Slip

What do you call a pirate's undergarments?

Plunderwear

What did the bra say to the hat at the end of the undergarment party?

You go on ahead, I'll give these two a lift.

A lady calls her butler into her room and says, "Jeeves, take off my dress"

He casually says, "Yes, Madam", and removes the dress. Then she says, "Jeeves, take off my underwear". Again, he says, "Yes, Madam" and removes the undergarment. She then says, "Jeeves, take off my bra". Again, with no hesitation he says, "Yes, Madam" and removes the bra. Then she says, "Now ou...

My math teacher grew seaweed on his wife's undergarments.

He really was fond of algae-bra.

Undergarments aren't usually very understanding.

But bras are very supportive.

Kathy's New Job

After a long stint in prison, Kathy managed to secure herself a job at a candy shop

She arrived on the first day wearing a proper yet practical dress. However, her first day was set to be retrieving candy at the front register

The first customer came, looked at the candy, and asked for...

Jefferson, a disgraced yet incredibly successful basketball coach, is asked to return to help lead his team to victory.

On his first day back, he organizes a meeting between himself and Anthony, the coach that took over when he initially left. When Anthony arrives to his office, Jefferson is already there, holding a large oak box.

"What's in the box?" Anthony asks.

Jefferson opens the box to reveal a sn...

A woman calls her butler into the bedroom

A woman calls her butler into the bedroom and says:

"Jeeves, take off my gloves."

Jeeves replies: "Yes my lady."

The lady then continues by saying:

"Now Jeeves, I want you take off my dress and corset."

Jeeves replies: "Of course, my lady."

The lady then sa...

Santa spots a girl atop a tree...

He notices her ragged clothes and lack of undergarments.

Pitying the girl and in Christmas spirit, he asks her to come back down and gives her a crisp €5 bill. He implores her to splurge on a fresh set of underwear and have a great Christmas.

The girl, greatly delighted, heads back hom...

A Guy Is fed up with his case of intestinal Worms

He decided its about time to have things checked out.


He goes and visits his local doctor, the doctor prescribes him medication.
He heads home and and struggles for weeks, to no avail.


He goes and visits a famous diagnostician, who tells him that the worms have grown f...

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They say that when a woman’s undergarments match, she was planning on having sex...

The same goes for men.

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I've got this friend in Japan. Her name's Kim.

So Kim runs an undergarment, loungewear and such clothing store, and I recently ordered myself some pyjamas. I fortunately she got the orders mixed up and sent me some type of dressing gown instead. All I could say was Kim,oh-no!

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An old man told it

Back in the old days women would make dresses out of feed sacks. The sacks that sugar comes in were made into undergarments/panties. A young lady went to a dance one night she was dancing and got tripped up on someone’s feet. She fell backward on her butt and the dress went over her head. Her pantie...

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Three Black Women are in an Airport

Three black women are in an airport, discussing back and forth about their flight from Newark to London, and the difficulties therein. Finally, they come around to what happens if the plane crashes.

The first woman says "If we go down, I'ma make sure I'm wearing hot pink panties."

The ...

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New Job!!

A young guy living in Boston recently became unemployed and he immediately went to the nearest job center where he noticed a flyer pinned to the job board seeking a "Gynecologist's Assistant to work at a newly-built 'Soothing Approach Gynecology Center', no experience required".
He was very inter...

The most trustworthy knight

A king is about to set out on a journey far away from his home, and must leave his wife behind, but is worried about her faithfulness. He asks the local blacksmith to create a chastity belt that will keep his wife faithful, and so the blacksmith gets to work right away. The blacksmith brings the kin...

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It’s time to redecorate the nunnery and Mother Superior is feeling overwhelmed with supervising all the various contractors. Wanting to save some money, she tasks the 2 newest novitiates with painting the cloister...

The young nuns are inexperienced painters, and they paint slowly and carefully, concerned about getting paint on their habits.

Mother Superior comes to check on them and is dismayed to find by the end of the day they’ve barely painted one wall.

“You’ll need to paint faster ladies, w...

King Arthur must depart to the battlefield.

He requests that the Knights of the Round Table remained within the castle walls in order to protect its citizens should an attack arise. Skeptical of his Queen's loyalty, and the men's self-control, the King asks Merlin to cast a spell on her.

*Should anyone lie with this woman in bed,
th...

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Three men are travelling home on Christmas day together

As they round a corner their car goes head on into a tree and the three men are instantly killed. All three men arrive at the pearly gates at the same time and stand in a long queue waiting to receive St Peter’s judgement. While waiting, one of the men points ahead to front of the queue after notici...

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman and an Arab

are out in the desert and completely starved of sex. Then, one day, they see a beautiful woman in an oasis, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, on which is a red rose.
The Englishman declares "I claim this woman by the red rose of England", and removes the pants. Underneath he finds a second pa...

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